Curtis Sittenfeld - Eligible

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Eligible: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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From the “wickedly entertaining” (USA Today) Curtis Sittenfeld, New York Times bestselling author of Prep and American Wife, comes a modern retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. A bold literary experiment, Eligible is a brilliant, playful, and delicious saga for the twenty-first century.
This version of the Bennet family — and Mr. Darcy — is one that you have and haven’t met before: Liz is a magazine writer in her late thirties who, like her yoga instructor older sister, Jane, lives in New York City. When their father has a health scare, they return to their childhood home in Cincinnati to help — and discover that the sprawling Tudor they grew up in is crumbling and the family is in disarray.
Youngest sisters Kitty and Lydia are too busy with their CrossFit workouts and Paleo diets to get jobs. Mary, the middle sister, is earning her third online master’s degree and barely leaves her room, except for those mysterious Tuesday-night outings she won’t discuss. And Mrs. Bennet has one thing on her mind: how to marry off her daughters, especially as Jane’s fortieth birthday fast approaches.
Enter Chip Bingley, a handsome new-in-town doctor who recently appeared on the juggernaut reality TV dating show Eligible. At a Fourth of July barbecue, Chip takes an immediate interest in Jane, but Chip’s friend neurosurgeon Fitzwilliam Darcy reveals himself to Liz to be much less charming. .
And yet, first impressions can be deceiving.
Wonderfully tender and hilariously funny, Eligible both honors and updates Austen’s beloved tale. Tackling gender, class, courtship, and family, Sittenfeld reaffirms herself as one of the most dazzling authors writing today.

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“I assure you Dick won’t turn us away,” Mr. Bennet said.

This turned out to be accurate. In the administrative suite, Mr. Bennet gave his name to the woman at the reception desk, and no more than a minute later, Dr. Lucas appeared in the seating area in a gray suit, a yellow tie dotted with a pattern of tiny blue hummingbirds, and a white coat. “Fred and Liz!” he said in a voice that implied he couldn’t imagine a more pleasurable surprise. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“If we might have a word in private.” Mr. Bennet nodded toward the receptionist.

In Dr. Lucas’s office, Liz and her father sat in chairs facing a massive cherry desk on which rested a gold nameplate that read RICHARD G. LUCAS, VICE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF CLINICAL OFFICER.

“Sally and I have gotten ourselves in a bit of a pickle,” Mr. Bennet said. “Apparently, my stay here earlier in the summer wasn’t all-expenses-paid.”

“Would that it had been,” Dr. Lucas said warmly.

“We’re having a liquidity issue, and Liz here is convinced that if we don’t pay up on time, a shady character will find us and break our kneecaps.”

Dr. Lucas chuckled. “We can’t have that, can we?”

Liz cleared her throat and said, “My dad doesn’t have health insurance.”

Dr. Lucas winced, but still somehow affably. “Tsk, tsk, Fred. I’m no more a fan of our president than you are, but when open enrollment starts, I’d urge you to sign up.”

Liz said, “I’m under the impression that sometimes hospitals have flexibility in terms of payment plans.” She’d anticipated marshaling her shaky, Internet-gleaned knowledge to bargain with Chad Thompson, a stranger, and she found it more rather than less uncomfortable to do so with a man who, in her youth, had prepared pancakes that she and Charlotte ate in their pajamas after sleepovers. Still, Liz tried to sound mature and professional as she added, “I know that the cost of procedures can vary from hospital to hospital, and also that lots of medical bills contain mistakes. I’m wondering—”

“Easy there, Liz,” Mr. Bennet interrupted.

“No, she’s quite right,” Dr. Lucas said. “Mistakes happen, and there’s nothing wrong with using a fine-tooth comb to go over the figures. Here’s what I recommend. We have a crackerjack team down in our billing department, and there’s a fellow by the name of Chad Thompson. I’ll call him now, tell him my good friends are on their way, and I’m certain we can figure out a payment plan that works for the Bennet family and for the hospital. How does that sound?”

Although there was some vindication in hearing Chad Thompson’s name, the vagueness of Dr. Lucas’s plan failed to entirely reassure Liz. She blurted out, “My parents are selling their house, so that should help with cash flow.”

Mr. Bennet leaned forward. “Entre nous,” he said to Dr. Lucas.

“Absolutely, Fred, absolutely. Life is complicated. I’m just relieved you’re sitting across from me now looking hale and hearty.” He glanced at Liz. “Your father gave us quite a scare, didn’t he?”

“And thank you for everything you did — everything everyone here did — to take care of him,” Liz said. “I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m not grateful.”

“She shows her gratitude by accusing the people who saved my life of malfeasance,” Mr. Bennet said to Dr. Lucas. “As you can imagine, her mother and I are very proud.”

Chapter 65

LIZ WOULD HAVE estimated that there were twenty boxes in Jane’s former bedroom; when she counted, there were sixty-one. She looked at the dates of the packing receipts for the boxes she’d already opened, and the pineapple throw pillow was from 2008.

Online, she had found a so-called eBay valet, a woman who lived ten miles away in Terrace Park and would resell these items and return to Liz 70 percent of their sale price. Kathy de Bourgh was a believer that it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission — in Revolutions and Rebellions, she had described learning this lesson during the 1970 Women’s Strike for Equality — and it was in a de Bourghian spirit that, after taking inventory of all of the boxes’ contents, Liz loaded up her father’s Cadillac and made two trips to the valet’s house. Fortuitously, Liz didn’t encounter anyone while carrying boxes from the third floor to the driveway. One of the virtues of the Tudor was the privacy offered by its capacious dimensions, and though Liz suspected that this fact reflected poorly on her, she was at times most able to enjoy her family members when she could sense their presence nearby without actually interacting with them.

At the conclusion of her second round trip to Terrace Park, Liz called the number for a general contractor, whose receptionist scheduled a water-stain evaluation for two days hence. After the call, Liz felt a sense of achievement that she realized wasn’t commensurate with the day’s modest progress. The meetings with Dr. Lucas and Chad Thompson, the drop-offs to the valet, and the appointment with the contractor were steps in the right direction; but to see them as true resolution could only be folly.

Chapter 66

“I’VE BEEN OFFERED a position as a private yoga instructor by some friends in upstate New York,” Jane said at dinner. “It’s been wonderful being home, but I’m moving there next week.”

“Bravo,” Mr. Bennet said, just as Mrs. Bennet, with great distress, asked, “But what about my luncheon? And for God’s sake, Jane, what about Chip? He’ll be devastated.”

“As a matter of fact,” Jane said, “Chip is in Los Angeles now, shooting an Eligible reunion.”

A silence followed, then several family members spoke at once.

“When did this happen?” said Mrs. Bennet.

“Is he hanging out in hot tubs with other girls?” said Kitty.

“Why would he sign on for that all over again?” said Mary.

“Hmm,” said Lydia. “Maybe so he can hang out in hot tubs with other girls?”

“How long will he be gone?” Mrs. Bennet asked Jane. “You’ll have to get back here by the time he returns.”

Jane’s eyes met Liz’s, and Liz was tempted to announce herself that Jane and Chip had broken up. What did postponing the news achieve?

“I don’t know if Chip is coming back,” Jane said.

“But the hospital must be counting on him,” Mrs. Bennet said.

“It’s obvious he’s always been torn between Hollywood and medicine,” Liz said.

Mrs. Bennet looked suspiciously at Jane. “Are the friends you’re staying with those ladies?” Those ladies was how Mrs. Bennet had referred to Amanda and Prisha ever since Jane had told her mother of their marriage years earlier. Having met Amanda during Jane’s undergraduate years, Mrs. Bennet had said, “I did always think she had very manly posture.”

“Yes,” Jane said. “And I’m really looking forward to working with them.”

“If Chip wants you to move out to California, you’re a fool to tell him no,” Mrs. Bennet said. “A man with his background and education can’t be expected to wait around while you dillydally.”

“Mary, maybe you should be the one to move in with those ladies,” Lydia said. “I think you guys have something in common.”

“Lydia, when do Mom and Dad get to meet Ham?” Liz asked.

“When I feel like it,” Lydia said.

“Who, pray tell, is Ham?” Mr. Bennet said.

“He went to the University of Washington out in Seattle,” Mrs. Bennet said, and Lydia glared and said, “Have you been stalking him?”

Mrs. Bennet looked affronted. “Lizzy told me.” She turned to Jane. “I saw some place settings in the Gump’s catalog that are very elegant. You should start thinking about what you want to register for so you’re ready when the time comes.”

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