Bruce Wagner - Memorial

“MOTHER? Mother, listen. You have to listen, OK? Are you with me? Mama, I don’t know why all this is happening the way it’s happening. But they — the police — don’t think the fire had anything to do with the people who stole your money. Do you understand? Because I don’t want you to feel you aren’t safe. You are! Completely. I’ll take care of you. I love you, Mama! Everyone thinks it was just a coincidence, a horrible, horrible coincidence. It was electrical —they think it was electrical. Do you understand? I am so sorry. Sometimes bad things happen in this world and I know you’ve had your share of terrible things— worse than terrible — all in a row. And it’s crazy. But you’re safe now…we could have lost you — I could have lost you in that fire! And the insurance company’s been great. The house is completely covered. (Which was a lie. The fastidious old woman had understandably missed the last, ill-timed premium payment; Joan was planning to fight that fight with her lawyers). Are you taking any of this in, Mom? There are some things I want to tell you. Need to tell you…I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to have a baby, Mom! I met a man on a job I was up for in Northern California. Remember? The memorial in Napa? And he’s a very wealthy man. Well, I didn’t get the job, but I got a baby! Isn’t that crazy? We didn’t plan it. We haven’t discussed marriage but he’s extremely wealthy — one of the richest men in the country and the world —and I think he’s really excited about having this child. And so am I. And it’s really important because of my age that I take care of myself so that everything goes smoothly. I can’t wait for you to be a grandmother! You’re going to be a grandma! Isn’t that the most fantastic thing? Mom? You are going to be so amazing, there is going to be so much you can teach her. I’m saying ‘her’ but I don’t know what it’s going to be yet — it’s just a feeling — I told the doctor I don’t want to find out. I just want to have it. I feel so incredibly blessed. I can’t wait to feel what it’s like to have a baby. You have been such a wonderful mother— you are such a wonderful woman. Mom? You heard all that, right? That I’m going to have a baby? And I know that you aren’t feeling so blessed right now and I can’t imagine going through any of what you’ve been through. What those people did. But I want you with me, you’re going to live with me, I’m going to buy a house. I have the money now. I’m going to have a lot of money. I want us to stay together. The man I’m having the child with wants us to live at the Beverly Hills Hotel until we find a place, he’s going to pay for everything, 2 big bungalows, we’re going to have the time of our lives! I’m taking a sabbatical from work and we’re going to spend tons of time together, isn’t that fantastic? The Beverly Hills Hotel is in a really beautiful area — you know where it is, right? The pink building up on Sunset? They call it ‘the Pink Palace’ and it has that famous wallpaper? — there’s a park across the street and we can go for walks, every day. We can have lunch in the coffeeshop downstairs, remember the little coffeeshop? I took you and Hamilton there once and you said it was like a cruise ship. Ham said it reminded him of the QE2—remember, Mama? There was a movie star eating at the counter? Sandra Bullock? Remember Sandra Bullock? Everything is paid for, Mom, and the hotel has tons of security because it’s owned by the Sultan of Brunei, so you can totally feel safe. And I might get married but that’s not something we’re really thinking about right now, there’s been too much excitement already, don’t you think? Don’t you think we’ve had a little too much excitement, Mom?”

Joan laughed and her mother smiled.

They had tears in their eyes.

The Pink Palace. The Taj Mahal Palace.

“It’s a different world now, and people don’t always get married. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell — you like Goldie, don’t you, Mom? — don’t you like Goldie? — they never married and they have kids and have been together about a hundred years. Rachel Weisz? She got the Academy Award. And David Letterman, and Johnny Depp and his girlfriend? You probably don’t know him but he’s a big, big star. And Brad and Angelina! And they’re all really happy! But anything’s possible…so my boyfriend, Lew, Lew Freiberg, the father of my child, is arranging for us to have 2 whole bungalows at the Beverly Hills Hotel (which was true; a Guerdon “write-off”) and we can go for walks when you feel better, walks will be good, for me too, I can do yoga and Pilates at the hotel, there’s an amazing spa there, for you, saunas would be great —the doctor said you don’t need the wires back on, isn’t that good? Mom? Isn’t that great? — and there’ll be a nurse with us at all times, Lew is paying for it, he insists, and Chester can come visit just like before. It’s going to be so much fun! And if you’re feeling better, we can go to India in a few months, when the monsoons end. OK? I can travel when I’m pregnant, my doctor said it’s completely fine. In fact, now’s the time to do it! Before I get too big! Trudy’s setting everything up. I really want to go! There’s a train we can take, with an ayurvedic spa, that is just like the Orient Express. I am so excited. Mom, you’re going to have a grandchild! Isn’t that so amazing? You never have to worry about anything again. You will never have to worry about being alone. You know where we can walk? To that movie theater you took us when we were young. On Beverly and Wilshire. Remember? The ‘Taj Mahal’?”

“No,” said Marj, tremulously returning to the real world.

“No, what?”

Joan was at least glad that her mother was engaged.

“It is not there.”

“Of course it is, Mom! It’s not a movie theater anymore but it still has that beautiful roof…”

“No.”

“It’ll be our little way of preparing for the real thing! Walks will be good. We need our strength because we’re gonna be doing some hiking over there, Mom. I love you so much. I am so sorry about everything that’s happened, I am so sorry I haven’t been there for you. All I wanted was to show how independent I was but I was such an asshole. Forgive me, Mother! Will you forgive me? Please? Please! You’re not mad at me, are you? Please forgive me for being so selfish and so fucked up! I’m going to have so much money and we’ll put back in the bank every cent those horrible people took from you, all right? We’ll put it back times 10. I’ll have the ability to do that, Mom. OK? Do you hear me? We have a deal? OK, Mom? You love me? Mama? Do you love me? Are you mad at me? Did you hear when I said you were going to be a grandma? And that I was rich? And that we’re going to move into the hotel?”

“Yes,” said Marj.

Joan smiled, and wiped away tears. Maybe — just maybe — everything would work out.

“Did you know that’s where Howard Hughes used to live? I think we’re going to be in the same bungalow. The one he had all his affairs in. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Did you get the ticket?”

“The ticket? To India?”

“No — the lottery ticket. Did you buy it today?”