Bruce Wagner - Memorial

“41. I’ll be 42 in 3 months.”

“You’re 41—you’ve put away childish things. Now, I don’t know what in the world your so-called friend had in mind to think that you would somehow enjoy a hazing. Which is what this was. A dangerous, unregulated hazing. It’s actually worse: at least fraternity kids know what to expect, to a degree. This is more equivalent to an act of terrorism! I am not exaggerating, my friend. This sort of thing is a cultural fad that is going to have major legal consequences for the networks and their parent companies. It already has. We will not tolerate bloodsport, Mr Herlihy. We are not living in Roman times— yet, anyway! All of these cases are landmark, because they will help reverse a horrible trend, a low cultural watermark. Collectively, we are beginning to deplete their pocketbooks, and that is the only way to get their attention. So I see this as an opportunity, Mr Herlihy. An opportunity to make you more than whole.”

Chess liked what he was hearing. “Aren’t there limits on this sort of thing? ‘Ceilings’? Isn’t that what they call — I mean, if it’s tied to income…if you need me to put together tax returns for the last 5 years, it’s not going to be pretty. I don’t know if I’ve even filed.”

“Those ‘caps’ only refer to noneconomic damages involving medical malpractice. This is not that, my friend. This is close to criminal negligence. We ain’t got no cap. In my experience, claims like these can generate jury verdicts in the high 6’s — that’s without punitive damages! No guarantees, of course.”

“What about Maurie? I mean, would he be part of the suit?”

“Might be.”

He removed his lenses and methodically cleaned them with a fine-knit cloth. Chester thought it was a move he probably made while in court, for the benefit of a jury.

“Depends on how you feel. We could do him for fraud. Intentional misrepresentation. Intentional infliction of emotional distress. Go after his savings — pension, whatever. You need to think about that. But I’ll be pursuing Friday Night Frights: the entity that provides the venue, the superstructure so to speak, that makes it possible for folks to wake up in the morning with the bright idea that evoking public spectacle by putting their friends through emotional and physical hell is somehow a wonderful gift to the world. FNF and their parent company are at the top of our food chain. Oh, believe me, they’ll make us an offer we can’t refuse. They do not want to go to court — though we may very well want to take them there! The tabloids settle every day, and the amounts are impressive. Most of the time you don’t hear about it because of provisions for confidentiality that are built in to the settlements. They’re kept under seal, and for good reason. People would be amazed at the kind of numbers we’re talking about. We are absolutely playing in that ballpark, Mr Herlihy, because we are beyond libel. We’re in a whole different universe! We’re talking personal injury, negligence, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Hell, if they ever broadcast that — and I wouldn’t put anything past these folks — add ‘false light invasion of privacy’ to the brew — then shake n bake!”

They took a breather as the food arrived.

Remar spoke of other things. He’d just paid $3,000 for the right to drive through a gated community off Mulholland, “which reduced my commute by 40 minutes.” He said how wonderful Barry Manilow’s show in Vegas was (“I’m a sucker for Barry, always have been”); how he and his partner were thinking of buying a house in San Miguel de Allende; his pro bono work with a Venice literary foundation where established authors mentored kids from the inner city.

He stabbed a forkful of bloodily spice-soaked eggs and looked up.

“Chess — I want to ask you something that may seem a little off-the-wall. Were you a bedwetter?”

“No.”

“OK, great. Because you peed your pants, didn’t you?” Plaintiff nodded. “Do you remember when that happened? Exactly? Because it’s going to be important to establish this involuntary response — perfectly normal under the circumstances — but we will need to establish that it happened at the exact moment you felt your life was over. Note I am not saying the moment you felt your life was threatened, I’m saying, over. There’s a difference. That is going to be part of my strategy, and I think it’s going to serve us very well. So if you don’t recall right now that’s fine. And by the way, I would have done more than just pee! I’ve seen the tape. I’d have definitely made myself ‘a sandwich.’ So just think about the moment you thought that happened, Chester, see if it comes back, and if you can’t recall, think about when you imagine that it happened. And I’ll do the rest.” He put the now cooling eggs in his mouth, savoring the taste. “And another thing: I don’t want you speaking with anyone from that show.”

“They actually called again.”

“Uh-huh.”

“They wanted to pick up the tapes they sent over.”

“You didn’t give them back any material?”

“No.”

“Good. Great. You played that perfectly. I can see that we’re going to excel. As a team. All right, Mr Herlihy, I’d like to have those— today. Will you be home?” Chess nodded. “I’ll send an intern from the office.”

“What about my friend? Maurie?”

“Maurie Levin.”

He uttered the name as if a dossier had already been compiled, and it made Chess slightly uneasy. He didn’t want to be a rat. For all his raving, he really only wanted restitution, not revenge.

“He’s been calling but I don’t feel like talking.”

“Nor should you. I wouldn’t recommend it, Mr Herlihy, but if you happen to have a conversation — keep it light — do not say you’ve spoken with an attorney. You’re going to doctors every day for your pain, that’s all anyone has to know.”

“What about his girlfriend? I mean, she was kind of in on it. But I don’t want her involved.”

Remar smiled as he slurped his latte.

“She’s been over a few times — just to visit. She feels bad about what happened.”

“That’s OK. But the same thing applies — keep it light. In case she’s doing a Mata Hari number!”

Chess didn’t exactly get the reference, but strenuously shook his head.

“She’s not.”

“I’m sure she’s very nice, Chester, but you never know. People get weird. He may have a bigger influence on her than you think. No talk of an attorney or pending actions —simply put, it’s none of their business. And it is business.” He patted his mouth with a pink napkin. “So: am I officially hired?”

“Yeah! Absolutely.”

“Terrific. I’ll send some papers for you to sign when the intern picks up the tape. Very standard.” He smiled. “And make sure it’s my intern, and not someone from FNF!”

They shook hands, but this time Remar used a gentler touch.

SHE woke up and the world was different.

She felt young — her body felt young. This would be, had already been, a year of great change.

They still delivered the Wall Street Journal and she hadn’t the heart to end the subscription because it was Ham’s favorite. She usually threw it out but today, Marj opened the paper to a full page ad for financial planning and investments.