Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

“Gee, I don’t think so. But if you find proof that I was, please let me know.”

He laughed.

“Your new pictures: I saw Arbus there, but what amazed me is there wasn’t that aspect of the grotesque. What you’ve done is so tender —transcendent—& completely unsentimental.”

“That’s very kind, Steve.”

“Beth said you weren’t interested in selling any images & I completely respect that. I didn’t want you to think that’s why I was calling, because it isn’t. I’m going to be in LA next week, & was hoping — I’d be honored if you’d show me some prints.”

“Next week? I’ll probably be up in Marin—––”

“O—––”

“—––but I can come down.”

“I can come to you…”

“No, it’s fine. I’m gonna be commuting for a while, at least until I sell the house.”

“That would be lovely,” he said, humbled. “& thank you.”

“Did Beth mention any of my other work? New work?”

“I don’t think so. She did say there have been more images taken since the ones I looked at.”

“There have… Steve, I don’t know if you know that my daughter died a few months ago.”

“She did tell me that. I’m so sorry.”

“I took some pictures of her in the hospital. Pictures of her alone, & of — Jerilynn and the baby — which is healthy and blessed, by the way. She gave me a beautiful little granddaughter, Nikki.”

“It’s hard to find words.”

“I made a series of prints — large-scale, 50 by 60. Is that something you’d be interested in seeing as well?”

“Yes, I’d be honored. And frankly, Jacquie, I’m interested in anything you’d like to show me.”

“Let me give you my email.”

“Perfect. And would you mind if I bring a friend? I know that James — Franco — would be thrilled.”

“Not at all.”

“He’s become quite a collector. He’s gone on an Eggleston bender.”

“I saw him not too long ago. He actually may own one or two of my early pieces. The 1st Jerilynn nudes.”

“Do you know what I actually think might be great? I’d love to throw you a little dinner party. Just eight or ten people.”

“That would be lovely.”

“Larry would want to co-host. He’s got a beautiful new house in Bel-Air he loves showing off. Beth said he’s very excited about the new work. What if we did something small? I think the Ruschas are back from Paris… Laurene Jobs… Joyce Carol Oates and her husband… Bob might even come if he’s not touring — Dylan. Larry showed him at the gallery in New York. And Tina Fey. We’re doing an event at the Nokia—”

“Tina Fey is the funniest woman who ever lived.”

“She started collecting. You’d love her. But whether we do a dinner or not, I’d of course love to come see whatever you’ll show me.”

“I’m thinking — and it’s very sweet of you to offer a dinner party. But I’m actually thinking — and tell me what you think — I’m actually thinking that maybe I could show the work at Larry’s house. Maybe mix the two. I could hang the pictures, almost like an intimate gallery show. I’m not sure he has the space…”

“O he does! He has the space.”

“It might be a better place to show the images than my garage!”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

“I could even bring the last photos — of my daughter.”

“Well, that would be an absolute privilege. For everyone.”

During their conversation she’d wandered into the yard, and then the garage, where one of the enormous prints of Jerilynn hung in a temporary frame. Now she was staring straight at it. Her daughter looked so beautiful in the slate grey Alexander Wang—& Nikki lay on her chest in mid-squall.

“Because in a way,” said Jacquie. “It’s the showpiece.”

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Biggie’s

operation was a success. The doctors said he would gradually recover “full powers,” though not for a few months.

Telma and Biggie were inseparable. Apart from Brando and the nanny, she was the only one Biggie would interact with. Brando even gave Telma her own bedroom. Gwen was comfortable with it because the children were well-supervised, and Telma did schoolwork with Biggie’s tutor.

Gwen was there a few times a week for lunch and dinner. The story Brando told her about the mother who went away lay heavy on her heart. The father lived in one of the houses on the vast estate but apparently only materialized at night, to pace the grounds. Was he awaiting his wife’s return? Or was it for his own death… Gwen never saw him, tho when she was over for dinner, did find herself doing a little rubbernecking into the dusky sprinklermist. It was all rather gothic — she couldn’t help thinking of the father as Rochester’s mad wife, shut up in secret rooms.

. .

The invitations to cancer galas continued to come in, but Telma evinced no interest. Just before Michael wrapped his movie, he asked Gwen and her to tea but Telma declined. Telma emailed with Aleisha’s mom and phoned the little girl twice a week w/o fail. She accompanied Biggie to the hospital whenever he had an appointment but otherwise stayed away, quietly abdicating her mayoralty. Gwen got all kinds of worried communiqués from the RNs, missing Telma & wanting to know “what was happening.”

Gwen didn’t say it, but something was happening.

Her daughter was growing up.

. .

She took the call in her bedroom at the Brainards’.

Her mom said that she and Phoebe were thinking of going to Hawaii for a week, and might Biggie and Telma like to come? Telma said no, they were in the middle of a big project, but told her mom she should go enjoy herself, that she’d better or Telma would be mad. While they were talking, a picture of Michael Douglas came on the television, & Telma told Gwen to hold on while she turned up the sound. Shia LaBeouf was being interviewed. “Cancer picked the wrong guy when it picked Michael,” he said.

They spoke a while longer, then Telma said she needed to check up on Biggie. Gwen had already expressed her concerns to Phoebe about her daughter’s codependency; she was afraid Telma swapped one obsession for another. Phoebe said she thought the bond with Biggie was a far healthier manifestation of her altruistic spirit than her relationship to cancer was, which was grandiose & doomed to end badly. Phoebe said, Would you try something? I’d like you to try and stop worrying, for 30 seconds at a time.

Before hanging up, Telma surprised Gwen by saying, “Mom, I’m going to marry Biggie one day. I don’t know who’s going to ask who, but someone’s going to ask somebody .”

Telma said an Aloha! & was gone.

. .

For the last week, Biggie was having more problems than usual. The doctors said it might go like that; the up and the down of it, until things settled. Telma did flashcards with him every day but sometimes he got tired. He’d say he didn’t know certain things, but Telma was convinced he did . It could be really frustrating but she knew how to get him to push through.

When she stepped into his room, he was Google Earthing. He was listening to music on his Beats so she was able to kind of creep up & look over Biggie’s shoulder, without him knowing. He was in Slovenia, loitering around the parking lot of the Skocjan Caves. (He’d been hanging there with his little “street view man” all weekend.) Biggie told her the caves were created by a sinking river, half on the surface, ½-underground. The wiki said that the subterranean gorge/waterfalls looked like something out of The Lord of the Rings .