Musharraf Farooqi - Between Clay and Dust

As the day of the bout approached and the severity of his exercises increased, the thought often crossed Ustad Ramzi’s mind that he would have been spared the ordeal if Tamami had not been neglectful of his responsibilities. As he struggled to meet the hard standards he set for his training, Tamami’s disregard for any duty towards his clan became ever more manifest to Ustad Ramzi. When he saw Tamami near the akhara he felt he was only there out of concern for whether or not he would continue to bask in the glory of the clan’s title. Tamami’s presence began to annoy him and as the days progressed, his rancor towards his brother gradually increased.

❖

The talk of Ustad Ramzi’s distrust of his brother’s ability reached Tamami — although nobody ever spoke directly to him. When asked about Ustad Ramzi’s decision Tamami said that his brother was neither so weak nor so old as to need someone as a stand-in for his title defense. He thought this was all he could say without compromising his pride. He felt that Ustad Ramzi had wronged him, and his decision had made others think less of him — not only as a pahalwan but also as a brother.

Tamami sensed Ustad Ramzi’s unhappiness about his presence in the akhara during his preparations. He found it hard to read his older brother’s mind just as he had found it hard to come up to his expectations. But he knew that he would feel grievously insulted if Ustad Ramzi told him some day to keep away from the akhara during his preparations. Tamami kept out of Ustad Ramzi’s way, although he did not wish others to think that at a time when his clan’s title was at stake, he was not there to support his brother. He saw the injustice of his situation but could do nothing to change it, and his pride did not let him confide his feelings to any of his friends.

As the appointed day for the challenge bout approached, Tamami’s feelings of self-pity were overcome by compassion for his brother, whom he saw exert himself daily despite his ebbing strength. Tamami forgot both his grievances and the fact that his brother had brought those rigors upon himself.

Lately, a new man, Hayat, had been seen at Gohar Jan’s kotha. His aspect and manners revealed someone absolutely unfamiliar with kotha etiquette. Gohar Jan sensed that he was ill at ease among the kotha’s habitués who made no effort to welcome him into their small group. Hayat’s inattentiveness to the recital did not escape her notice either. His gaze often travelled toward Malka who sat beside her and across from him.

Hayat did not linger at the end of the mehfil. He returned the following night and the next night as well.

After Hayat’s third visit to the kotha, Malka approached Gohar Jan. Speaking softly and with lowered eyes, she said to her, “The newcomer makes me uncomfortable.”

Gohar Jan did not answer. She had made her inquiries about the man and his background. Hayat was a real-estate developer who had come to the inner city to survey and bid on the newly introduced residential development schemes. He was not known in the tawaifs’ enclave. She assumed curiosity had brought him there.

Another week passed. Hayat still paid little attention to Gohar Jan’s recital, but he did not stare at Malka impertinently as he had done on the first few occasions. When he came upstairs he sometimes attempted to make conversation with Malka on the way to the Music Room. During the mehfils he seemed preoccupied and thoughtful.

Gohar Jan continued to countenance Hayat’s behavior, but she saw that the other visitors who noticed Hayat’s interest in Malka and Gohar Jan’s indulgence of it were gossiping about it. The men could not solicit Malka’s favors as she had not started performing yet. They saw in Gohar Jan’s tolerance of Hayat’s breach of kotha etiquette an unjust show of favor to the newcomer.

After visiting the kotha continuously for three weeks Hayat stopped coming. Malka was unable to disguise her growing unease and disquiet. Her nervous movements betrayed her inner anxiety. Things dropped from her hands. When entering or leaving rooms she would bump into doors and walls like someone unsure of her bearings. She was in a heightened state of anxiety for more than a week, and when Hayat did not return Malka sank into a state of gloom. Her verve and energy were sapped; she became introverted and quiet.

Gohar Jan, who had smiled to herself at Malka’s restlessness earlier, now regarded her with concern. But even as she worried about Malka, she did not show it.

In the fifth week after the stranger’s first appearance at the evening mehfil someone knocked at the kotha door and Banday Ali opened the door to find Hayat standing on the landing.

When he entered and announced Hayat’s presence, Malka was sitting with Gohar Jan. She rose to her feet in a sudden rush of agitation and excitement, her face flushed with happiness. Gohar Jan sent Malka to the adjoining room and asked Banday Ali to send in Hayat. She had been expecting him for the last few weeks. She had found out that he had not left the city.

She noticed the pallid look on Hayat’s face as he entered. He seemed weak and exhausted. Casting a glance at Banday Ali, Hayat asked Gohar Jan if he might have a word in private. Banday Ali left them alone in the Music Room.

Hayat remained closeted with Gohar Jan for nearly an hour. At the end of their meeting, Gohar Jan went into the adjoining chamber and led Malka by the hand into the Music Room. Hayat rose as Malka entered. After the two had sat down, Gohar Jan left them together, and went out onto the terrace where she found Banday Ali. She sat down on the sofa and told him of the decision she had made about Malka’s future.

Banday Ali collapsed on the wooden bench near the flowerpots on the terrace. He stared at Gohar Jan but her categorical silence did not allow him to speak. His opium addiction had dulled Banday Ali’s responses and quieted his emotions. He looked confused and shocked.

A half-hour later, Hayat came out of the Music Room and had a brief exchange with Gohar Jan. After he left she returned to the Music Room, stopping for a moment to compose herself in the large mirror that hung in the corridor. Banday Ali remained on the terrace.

Gohar Jan found Malka where she had left her. Her body convulsed gently from her muffled sobs. Tears flowed through her fingers with which she covered her face. Gohar Jan sat down beside her.

“Why do you want me to leave?” Malka asked, looking uncomprehendingly at Gohar Jan.

“It was not I who suggested it. But it is for the best. You will be happy with him,” Gohar Jan said. After a brief hesitation she took Malka’s hands into hers and pressed them gently.

Surprised, Malka looked up.

“How do you know that?” Malka asked. She left her hands in Gohar Jan’s.

“You know it yourself. Don’t tell me you don’t.” Gohar Jan spoke with her usual self-control, looking into Malka’s eyes.

She then averted her gaze and left Malka’s side.

A change had come over Gohar Jan. Banday Ali saw it as she came out of the Music Room and worried for her.

❖

A week after Malka left the tawaifs’ enclave as Hayat’s bride, an increasingly confused and agitated Banday Ali tried to reconcile himself with the bitter prospect of never seeing her again. While handing Gohar Jan his monthly report on the kotha’s finances, he confronted her.

“If it was Malka’s happiness you sought, surely you could see how happy it would have made her if you allowed her to perform. You never did.”

Gohar Jan silently looked through the accounts.

“Not once, Gohar Jan,” Banday Ali said. “You did not allow her to perform even once. You denied her all she had longed for since she was a child.”