Mark Haddon - The Red House

It’s good for Richard being here . Louisa poured herself another glass. Stop him worrying about things .

I can’t imagine Richard worrying , said Dominic. He could feel something stuck between his front teeth. Not like the rest of us worry .

Oh, there’s this case at work , said Louisa. Some legal thing . Had she said too much?

What kind of legal thing?

We’re going to have the stage near the trees at the edge of the playing field , said Melissa. She closed her eyes in order to see the plan more clearly. The sun will be out at the beginning of the play, which is when we’re in the city, and it’ll set during the play, which is when everything moves to the wild forest. Cool, no?

That sounds really interesting , said Angela. Melissa was just a child, wasn’t she? Queen of the castle and dirty rascals. So tell me about being vegetarian .

I just think it’s ridiculous eating animals .

No , said Angela. Give me a reasoned argument. Imagine you’re trying to convert me .

Well …Melissa paused and gathered herself.

It was so easy. Get them on their own and treat them like adults. Except you couldn’t do it with your own family, could you? You crossed your own doorstep and took off the cape and you were Clark Kent again.

So, what happens if you’re not cleared? asked Dominic.

I think that’s highly unlikely .

But hypothetically . Dominic could see that he was making Richard uncomfortable but he was slightly drunk and the opportunities for enjoying this kind of advantage were few and far between.

I suppose ultimately, if one had been grossly negligent, one could be struck off . Richard could think of no way of ending the conversation without giving the impression that he was avoiding the subject.

I suppose most of these cases are settled out of court . Dominic mopped up the last of the sauce with a folded piece of bread.

I would much rather be publicly exonerated. Sadly, it will be the word of an honest man against that of a liar and a hypocrite .

Louisa reappeared with an apple tart in one hand and a tub of vanilla ice cream in the other. Richard got slowly to his feet. Let me fetch the bowls .

♦

Angela placed a stack of dirty plates in front of Benjy because she was determined that at least one of her sons would leave home with a few domestic skills. Put these in the dishwasher. Carefully and one at a time, OK?

I’ll do the greasy stuff in this sink , said Daisy. You can do the glasses in that one .

Let’s play the story game , said Benjy.

Concentrate , said Angela. If you drop any it’ll be coming out of your pocket money .

Which story game? said Daisy.

The one where you say a word and I say a word then Mum says a word and we have to make up a silly story .

So long as it doesn’t have poo in it, all right?

But I like stories with poo in .

We know , said Angela, patting his head, but that’s a personal problem and I really do think you should keep it to yourself .

OK, then, but I start .

Go on then .

Once…

There…

Was…

Tangerines…

You can’t have ‘was tangerines ’.

Why not?

Because it’s grammatically incorrect .

OK. Once there was a…

Grapefruit…

But I wanted ‘tangerine ’.

It’s not your go. You have to wait till your next turn and then add something ridiculous. So…Once there was a grapefruit…

Whose…

Trousers…

Were…

Made…

By…

A…

Squirrel…

Who…

Lived…

In…

A…

Handbag…

Made…

Of…

Poo…

Benjy…

♦

Melissa popped open the second Rotring tin, took one of the joints out and smelt it. Resin. Like the stuff you used on violin bows in its little velvet handkerchief. It was a kind of amber, wasn’t it? Rebuilding dinosaurs from mosquito blood. God, the T. rex should have eaten those whiny kids. She got stoned with Mum once and Mum told her how Dad tied her to the bed with the dressing-gown cord sometimes, which was really funny at the time and so deeply not funny the following morning. And when Megan tried it for the first time… This is totally fucking freaking me out , all snot and mascara, so Melissa spent the whole night feeding her mugs of black coffee and letting her win at Pictionary. But Melissa liked being stoned, the way everything backed off and time went rubbery.

She checked the landing was clear. Downstairs the clatter of plates. There was a door at the end leading to a flight of stone steps into the garden. She opened the Yale lock and left it on the latch and stepped out into the dark. The moon was almost full, ragged clouds were racing high up, but the air in the valley was completely still. The dog was still barking. God, she was going to be hearing it in her sleep for the next month. Faint voices from the yellow windows, everyone drinking coffee and talking bollocks about schools and house prices. She sat on the rusted lawn roller just inside the woodshed and took the joint out of her pocket. She spun the rough little wheel of the lighter. Sparks like a tiny blue thornbush in her hands.

♦

Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman, Koong-se, who fell in love with her father’s clerk, Chang. But her father had promised Koong-se to a wealthy duke, so he sacked Chang and built a high wall around the palace to keep the lovers apart. The duke arrived bearing a casket of jewels and the wedding was set for the day on which the willow blossom fell. The day before the wedding Chang slipped into the palace disguised as a servant and the two lovers ran away with the casket of jewels. Koong-se’s father saw them and chased them over the bridge brandishing a whip. Luckily they managed to escape by stealing the duke’s ship and sailing it to a deserted island where they lived happily together.

Years later, however, Koong-se’s father discovered the whereabouts of this deserted island and dispatched soldiers who caught the two lovers and killed them. The gods saw this and took pity on Koong-se and Chang and transformed them into the pair of doves who hover permanently in the sky above the water and the willow trees and the temple garden.

♦

Society has become far too materialistic , said Daisy. We’ve lost sight of the important things .

For an intelligent young woman , said Richard, you really are incredibly naïve .

Richard …said Louisa.

I am not naïve , said Daisy. She didn’t want to be protected, she wanted to win the argument on Richard’s terms.

Alex stretched out his legs and knitted his fingers together as if he was settling down to watch a good film.

You want to live in the Middle Ages? said Richard. He knew the conversation with Dominic had upset him and that he was taking it out on Daisy, but he disliked being lectured, especially by someone who thought the rest of them would burn in hell. You want kids to die of cholera and dysentery? You want your teeth to fall out? No radio, no television, no central heating?

Richard …said Louisa, more insistently this time.

That’s not the point , said Daisy. She hadn’t drunk alcohol for eight months whereas Richard had downed a bottle of wine. It should have given her an advantage but it seemed to work the other way round.