Gavin Corbett - This Is the Way

I seen my father make a great show of blessing himself. Then a guard came over whispered in the priest’s ear. The priest said we would all have to wait behind longer. Ten minutes went and Arthur said he was going to throw a stone at the helicopter.

I’m going to try hit that thing and either I hit that thing or the stone drops and I hit a Gillaroo he says.

He tore a lump of tarmac the size of his fist from the edge of the path and he threw it in the air straight up. A guard stepped in and so did my sister Margarita.

Have you no respect for our brother she says to me.

I don’t even know if that was the question. I don’t even know if that is a question.

That was the last time, three year ago in Melvin, the time of my brother Aaron’s burial. There was this time now he was after turning up in the city of Dublin he was agitated and there was the last time in Melvin and he was agitated then too. It was not good in the world when Arthur was agitated.

The next morning he took a turn for the worse. First thing I woke up he was groaning. He was not asleep but not awake. He was trying to keep himself through a severe pain if that’s the way. His face had a clouded look and he was sweating. I says to him Arthur will I make you tea but he was inside himself be the best way to put it.

I went to Mr L the chemist. He had the cure when I was sick in June and he was good. I says I have this uncle and it’s like he’s in the grip of something terrible. I says he been sick and now I think he’s burning up.

Is he delirious the word Mr L used.

Yes I says.

He could have an infection he says.

I said to him yes that that’s what I thought it was. I told him his foot had gone bad. Mr L said it sounded like it was the antibiotics he needed but that I had to get him to a doctor to get those. I said to myself that that was expensive and then I remembered I had antibiotics from when I got sick in June. I took one and I couldn’t take the rest because the taste came off in my mouth. But I had them, I hadn’t got rid of them.

I found them and it said on the tube take three a day. I knew there was no way Arthur was going to take them the taste of them the way they were, I would have to sneak them into him. I said to him did he want anything to eat. He said nothing only a groan. I had ham and I made a sandwich. I ate it beside him but he didn’t react like he wanted food.

I left it a day. He hadn’t eaten all that time, that day and the day before. I knew he was pushing himself to the limits. He would have to eat something and his body would make himself eat something. Sure enough when I bought chips and I put some on a plate beside him he took them. I pushed an antibiotic in one of them. He ate them down in ten seconds.

Have you anything else he says.

I got him an orange. I peeled it for him my back turned and I pushed an antibiotic in that too. He bit into it but his tooth hit the antibiotic and he spat the antibiotic on the sheet.

What’s this he says.

I says it’s a tablet it’s good for you I says and I picked it up.

Give it here he says. Will you fill up me glass he says. How many of these a day do I have to take.

The rest of that evening he slept and most the next day he slept and the day after he was awake but quiet but together. The day after that then he was even better again, he was improved.

I was up that morning with the television on. I thought he was asleep and then I heard it.

Good to be home he says.

I turned to him. He was lying on his side, his head resting in his hand. He was looking toward the window.

I says you’re not home. You’re in my house here and it’s my rules you’re under.

And you’re back now and you got sick and you’re stranded in the city of Dublin and who am I to turn you away, one of my own, my uncle and the brother of my father I thinks to myself.

Home I says.

I says to him so what brought you back after your years of wandering.

He didn’t say nothing, he let out wind.

Did you miss the country I says.

He moved himself up on the pillow.

Come here I want to show you something he says.

I’d left the sack he had at the Spar by the head of the bed and now he had it up with him.

Have a look here he says. There’s some old pages they gave me in the hospital. Your father was telling me you’re good with the reading he says.

When were you last talking to me father I says to him.

He came in the hospital visit me Arthur says.

Was me father where you got me number I says.

Yes he says.

Now he says.

Have a look at those pages he says.

Yes I says.

He showed me a group of papers, they were held together at the corner. The first page said in writing Recovery Guide for Patients Who Have Undergone Digit Replantation Surgery. The second page and the third page there were pictures. One of them was a man caught in a fence.

I turned the page and Arthur said the doctor got it for him off the computer.

Look he says, look, look, but I was reading down the sheet.

Look he says again.

I looked up and I got a fright. He’d took his left hand out the cloth been covering it and he was holding it in front of him. It was crooked and mashed, it was boiled. Took me a few seconds to see what was wrong. It was the thumb, only it wasn’t a thumb. It was twisted on the hand, a different look to the rest, like someone had got it, broke it off, then they changed it, shrunk it, put it back on. His hand looked like a monkey’s hand what it looked, like a chimp’s. I thought of his foot and then I thought that that’s what this was. That they took his toe off and they put it on his hand because his thumb went missing.

What’s wrong with you he says.

I don’t know I says.

Your face he says.

Your face I says.

There’s nothing wrong with me face he says.

You look shocked I says.

It’s not me face it’s me hand is the problem, look he says.

He reached over for the glass and the hand stopped before it. It was natural a person would open the hand without thinking but Arthur was thinking. He was looking at the hand like he had to concentrate to open it. I watched him, his tongue tapping his front teeth. In a minute his thumb that was his toe moved back and he moved his hand around the glass.

I can do that but I can’t hold on to anything yet he says. One step at a time isn’t that what they say. I could try and pick it up but there’s no power in the hand, the glass would drop. It’ll take time. They had me doing exercises, opening and closing opening and closing. They told me I had to think through the movement and if I thought of it I would make it happen. They gave me fish they said the fish is good for the brain. They said if I.

The hospital, the doctor, the after what happened was all he was saying, I was not listening.

I says to him tell me something Arthur and tell me straight.

He looked at me strange, angry.

I says was it the Gillaroos done this to you.

He took two seconds.

No he says, and he kept his eyes looking in mine like a challenge what it was.

I turned mine away from his and I smiled, I smiled so he could see me smile, it was with no joy.

I says to him they must have thought you were good enough to let you go from the hospital before the skin is even healed.

He muttered something, I says to him what speak up.

He says I knew meself I was good enough.

You let yourself out I says.

There was nothing I couldn’t have been doing on me own he says.

Can you do that I says.

What he says.

Let yourself out I says.

Course he says. They can’t hold you against your will. And I don’t like the fish he says.