John McManus - Born on a Train - 13 Stories

I don’t know where he gets those words, it’s like it’s a big box full.

Lonzoe lunged for Clyde but Clyde moved forward, Lonzoe’s on the floor, why don’t you save it for Johnny Breeden.

Lonzoe drove.

Lonzoe smokes. He takes us down the 411, flicks his cigarette. Maybe you should of took the Mint Road. Maybe you could hush so I can think. It was some big rain comin. I wondered if we’d kill Johnny Breeden. I hoped it would be Annie in his stead that died, I never got to drink with Lonzoe anymore, that’s why I come. Clouds like big black nightmares right there in November, they was dogs, they was the trees. It looked like they was little bits of shot. Lonzoe cussed on Sixmile Road to make the truck go. What are we gonna do. Quiet, I’m still workin it in my brain. I don’t get quiet for no one else but Lonzoe. He was real mad. I’d never put no stock in Annie. Her skin’s all green like it’s the bottom of a lake. In the trees they was no leaves. Lonzoe pulls in Breeden’s driveway, no lights on and rocks is in the air. Fists against the door, they weren’t no answer. Johnny’s at the lake, them fenced-up dogs all karf karf karf, they weren’t no other sound. Lonzoe got hisself so mad he took their big ceramic nigger eatin fruit, he smashed it on the porch. I love to watch him smash it. Run down to the shed. Come out had a chain saw.

Jasper I’m gonna cut every tree on this farm.

He looked into my eyes seen I was scared.

No you ain’t. You watch me. Chain saw’s loud. They ain’t nobody home nor in this valley. Mick Jenkins up the road. He’ll be stone drunk. Don’t do it. If you get the other saw it’s twiced as fast, the rain is comin hard. Growl just falls down timber, timber, water felt so good. Trees would fall whichever way you pushed. Halfway up the trunk it wasn’t only sell em anyway. I don’t know what kind of trees it was. I wished them trees was all the men at Billiards, Lonzoe’d saw them till they died except for me we’d click our chain saws then we’d drink a beer. Everybody in the world was split in two, I’d be the only one, he’d talk out loud about the things inside his head. Now all he said was Annie Annie Annie. The clouds they had the moon in them, the rain. Look what just two drunks has done tonight. The stumps was warm, I said you never have such fun with Annie, fuck her, move back up at Natcher Mountain. My fingers still was shakin from the saw. I went to piss I didn’t see him get the rifle out. They was four slow spaced-out shots and then no barks. Why’d you go and do that for. Cause Annie’s mine and I’ll make sure that everybody learns it.

Two of the dogs was dead the other two just crawled. Ain’t you gonna shoot again. He shook his head. What had come over Lonzoe. He come from purebred mountain stock, it clogged him full of meanness. Pit bull crawled behind the truck before it died and Lonzoe backed right up and all this blood and Lonzoe said, I’m right pissed off, it made me glad. I said how Annie was no good. I was the only one he’d tolerate to say it, he’d of clobbered any other man, I would of watched it. He drove me home he come in for a beer. Jasper, he says, real serious, and then I thought he would of said a serious thing.

You think we’ll get in trouble.

I don’t know.

I don’t either.

The mountains back behind us, was that all, we thought two different things about each other, it was tangled. Clyde calls up and Breeden’s down at Myrtle Beach, three weeks, my heart beats fast. How the hell do you know. He works with me at Denso. Who was that with Annie. Who knows cause every day she’s on a different guy. Oh well it’s done now. What is. Things. What things. Hung up cause that’s what Lonzoe would of done he hated Clyde, Clyde was ugly. Lonzoe’s passed out snorin on the floor, the bottle’s empty. What was it but go to sleep, the sky was black as black. The trees would turn to brown next day I thought but it was green for way past Christmas. When they jailed his ass I wanted in there too but Lonzoe didn’t rat me out, I didn’t visit, he had other friends inside that jail. I didn’t want to see. He got hisself probation and the grocery went and fired him. Annie left for Rufus Reaper, fuck you then, he said, I won’t even beat him up, that’s how much I give a shit. He had to pay the court, he had to make the payments on his truck. He opens up the Daily Times about how terrible he is, they wasn’t on his side. Jasper, you got to help me get some money.

I said alright.

You ever robbed a man before. No one I ain’t related to. Who would you steal from. Rich folks. Who’s rich. Lamar Alexander. He don’t live here no more. Reggie White. He runs a church you shit for brains, that made me mad, I told him figure out your money for yourself. I went home and they was snow up top the mountain. I wanted to drive and see the snow but fuck it, I could see the snow from my porch. How come you hear about a avalanche in other places, never here. I thought how Lonzoe wished he drove a truck but now he can’t because of jail. We use to drive the mountains just to drive. What if it snowed till everyone was dead. I got so piss ass drunk and meantime Lonzoe robbed the Amoco, he robbed the Mister Gas, he robbed the Walland Highway Citgo. He stole a car which I don’t know why he did that, he wasn’t never scared. I don’t know how to tell him things. He saw the coppers in his driveway so he drove out here to my place.

Guess what. What. I’m fucked.

We pitched horseshoes. He got to thinkin loud how Annie’d spent up all his money on her perfume and her clothes. She never bought a thing for me, he says, she threw my tape of Slayer out the window, called me stupid. I never cost you a penny I said. She smacked me on the head most every day he says. He got to thinkin all the miserable things she done. Can you drink a beer in prison. Don’t talk like that, you’re my buddy don’t go get yourself in jail no more, I told you all along what Annie was, she even got the cross eyes.

Lonzoe just laughed.

Don’t you care if you get locked up. You know I don’t think he did give a fuck.

How old did we start drinkin he said. I said fourteen or so. It’s been a long time since it felt like then he says and now the only fun is to fuck shit up, the trees was fun, the Amoco, the tires I slashed at Billiards they was fun.

I didn’t know you done that.

Clyde’s, and just the one.

We stared into the dark.

You know what.

What.

I never give a shit about that bitch Annie.

Bull shit I said.

I never even liked her.

Well I’ll be.

Does that mean you don’t like me cause I lied.

I like you.

Good cause I was scared he said.

You was? I said.

I ain’t no good.

Bullshit I said but as for Annie she can rot.

I always liked you better, Lonzoe said. The stars jabbed down like helicopter search lights, we watched it gobble up the black. It felt like we was kids deep in the woods again beneath the insulation house and twigs blew off the trees they must of been as many stars, they twinkled where the hemlocks was, the cops won’t never find us, we were shadows.

Anyways.

Clyde comes over Lonzoe picks a fight. You want a good kick in the balls. That’s what he got, he’s moanin like the devil girl that died. You alright there Clyde. Stay out of this, said Lonzoe, just you lay there and be drunk.

That’s exactly what I did.

You was happy Annie left me. You had your scummy little eye on her and Clyde moans no no no. Lonzoe kicks his legs like he was doin it for me. It made me proud how fast he kicked his legs. There was Clyde all tied up in a chair. The towrope from my truck. You know the things on oaks the strings of fuzz well Lonzoe scoops a handful up and shoves it in Clyde’s mouth and spit hung down all right you little prick, we’ll try it thisaway. He picked up more and shoved it up Clyde’s nostrils with his finger. The sky was upside down just like a cowpond and the moon trapped up inside of it, I felt like I was with someone. I thought of Annie gettin it from Rufus, I wished Clyde didn’t have no eyes to see the 2 of us together in the yard, me layin down and Lonzoe over Clyde hey Clyde your nose is all stopped up. Ow ow it hurts. Shut up you baby. Lonzoe took some rope and wrapped it round.