Sam Pink - You Hear Ambulance Sounds and Think They Are for You

You look at the light patterns on your wall and you stay in bed because you are avoiding everything else.

You are objectively pathetic and your sheets are dirty and how can you live like this.

You can live like this.

You live like this.

You can live like this.

You like it.

You like yourself for reasons others do not.

You don't connect with anyone.

You listen to me and that’s why I keep you around.

You hate everything and you like it.

You want to die.

You never know what day it is.

You can't imagine taking your mind off anything.

You pray but you don't know it.

You get nervous the few times you're at the doctor's office because you are convinced s/he might (justifiably) hold you down and execute you for carrying some incurable disease that can't be explained but will be fatal to everyone else.

You like everyone else.

You like being alone.

You always give up when things get hard.

You have never loved anyone like it is possible for you to and you like it; you don’t like it.

You will feel pain.

You will be let down.

You have no control over how the brick cleans your face.

You have no time to turn around and see what you’ve done.

You have no need to see what you’ve done.

You talk and all you hear is ambulance sounds and you like it.

You made up a game where the winner is always you.

You made friends with the walk home when you really don't want to be anywhere.

You wake up and do things over again.

You are over again.

You always impress me.

You will powerfully vomit when you realize I am gone for good.

You will powerfully vomit when you realize it is the part that remains that hurts most, not what is gone.

You're older now than you've ever been and it’s not something you look forward to continuing over and over endlessly.

You are a compassionate human and you make ambulance sounds for anyone who wants them.

You think your life will be better once you learn to somersault out of bed.

You wear your own medical bracelets for jewelry.

You only make people upset now, what happened.

You are my friend and that means you will see me act strangely.

You are a stranger and that means you are my friend.

You couldn't kill me if I had a connect-the-dots over my throat (and you know I mean that as a compliment).

You haven’t been able to face the outside so many times you wonder what has happened in your absence.

You couldn't draw yourself if you became invisible and wanted to reappear.

You see people outside your window and you lean out the windowframe and go, "Hey, catch me ok" then jump before there is an answer.

You base your actions on whether or not they limit what you think freedom is.

You base your actions on whether or not they will result in situations you feel are embarrassing.

You can’t say what you mean ever.

You prepare your house like there is going to be a big party but then you never invite anyone over and you like it.

You really don't care what other people think and it's not at all like it was when you said that but didn’t mean it.

You want to know what you’re talking about.

You want to know how to understand years.

You want to know something.

You want to know something, you are a mathematical equation that begins with a bunch of meaningless signs and ends the same way but it looks like a lot has happened (and you know I mean that as a compliment).

You think it would be cool if your hands just, like, fell apart as uncooked rice and then you didn’t have hands anymore.

You think it would be cool if you never felt obliged to anyone else.

You don't know anyone else.

You think of how you would like yourself more if you had come into existence by washing up on shore somewhere.

You are not the point.

You hear ambulance sounds and think they are for you.

You know that punishment is wrong because the punisher can always just teach (it’s like, why be a dick right?)

You know you need to be punished.

You have typical human reactions and you are relieved because you can't imagine inventing reactions for some things (you know that’s a form of punishment and you accept it).

You have pressure inside your body.

You walk around your apartment and feel like you can’t be comfortable if you stop moving.

You meditate on the thought and feeling of your own head as a blood aquarium.

You hate other yous.

You look like everybody else.

You look gross and you like it.

You get horny in a way that feels more like sudden homicide.

You animate yourself and that’s unholy.

You fuck yourself into creation and that’s unholy.

You have boring sexual fantasies.

You have plastic cocktail swords for teeth.

You lose your teeth so often in dreams you no longer have free time now.

You never have real relaxations.

You balance on one leg while thinking of situations to get into that cannot be escaped.

You can always balance on one leg while thinking of situations to get into that cannot be escaped.

You extinguish yourself from all sides inward and it happens too slow to show.

You extinguish yourself from all sides inward and it happens too slow to notice.

You notice.

You have your own flag and it looks a lot like your slob ass.

You can't believe how well I am able to sincerely love something for a really short period of time.

You can't believe how much I owe a movie rental place for a movie I didn't even rent.

You don't listen to me and I love it.

You see and hear terrible things and when you run diagnostics on yourself to see if it has mattered, you don’t know what to look for.

You made up a reason to keep breathing and it’s working.

You just put your pen into your mouth to get something out of your pocket and then when you reached to get the pen you knocked the pen up into your gums and it hurt a lot and now you taste blood.

You have a sweet pussy.

You have real feelings and I steal them.

You rob banks and I open banks in my rusted-out home.

You make me embarrassed about my body.

You make me happy.

You plagiarize faces of uncontrollable worry.

You do things that later seem strangely significant.

You have no idea how much “no” there is in all things.

You're older now than you've ever been and it is not something you look forward to continuing over and over endlessly.

You hear ambulance sounds and think they are for you and you like it.

You think “oops” is an apology.

You don’t wash yourself often.

You are upset because you can only ever control things too weak to really want.

You have coal mascara of no-sleep.

You should spend more time with me, you should.

You like it when I say "wink wink" after saying something serious.

You like that every creator also creates by letting its creations die.

You are embarrassed by how hard you orgasm thinking about my broken legs.

You will be asleep soon and that's ok.

You are an ugly person and I care about you.

You know that caring is hurting.

You need everyone to repay you now in order to be neutral.

You feel terrible when it's late and you realize “nothing to do” is a permanent state.

You have less than a month to live.

You train to die without making a face.

You die without making a face.

You deliberately think about terrible things that make you want to die.

You will be found dead.