Peter Pišťanek - The Wooden Village

Žofré called Edna by her first name for the first time at the moment that he was expiring. He raised himself up on the bed and said something to her. Edna didn’t understand: it was in Slovak. It sounded like a strange prayer or a vow. Then Žofré’s head fell back on the pillow and one of the monitors by his head began to emit piercing bleeps. The room instantly filled with people in white. Edna was pushed out into the corridor; someone tried to resuscitate the fat patient with electrodes, but to no avail.

In the evening Martin got back from his meeting. When Edna told him about Žofré’s death, he was stunned; then he walked to the bar to pour himself a double bourbon. He gulped it down and poured another. His insides were permeated by a pleasant warmth. For some reason, tears streamed down his cheeks; he didn’t wipe them away.

However, paradoxically, he felt nothing in his soul except a light breeze of satisfaction and intoxicating freedom.

* * *

Feri Bartaloš and his Eržika spend entire days keeping a furtive eye on Lady. They are worried. Her sexual insatiability, her weird alienated look, her trembling — everything arouses their suspicions.

“What if she’s out of her mind?” Feri asks Eržika in Hungarian over breakfast.

Eržika is also anxiously watching her performing animal, who is being fed coffee cake and hot chocolate. She shrugs.

“Well,” Feri goes on, “Lady lost her marbles and came to this car park. We don’t know anything about her. Her husband, if she has one, or her relatives, are sure to be looking for her. Perhaps the police are looking for her, too.” Feri considers this to be a real possibility; Feri and Eržika don’t have television and would be the last to find out. Feri doesn’t want to be an alarmist, but what if the police come to the Wooden Village one day and find they’ve got her with them?

“So what?” Eržika counters. They’ll have nothing on Eržika and Feri. They take care of her and help her any way they can. It’s simple: Eržika and Feri are good people. They are ready to help. Life is hard.

Feri nods. He can see that. But what if they then find out that Lady is mad, then they’ll screw Feri and Eržika for hiring her out to the beer drinkers? And for forcing her to fuck fifty customers a day?

“Hang on!” says Eržika, apparently upset. “What do you mean ‘forcing’? Who’s being forced? Nobody’s forcing anyone. Lady’s got ants in her pants, she needs men: just look at her. Didn’t Lady begin by volunteering to help clean the lavatories?” Feri knows very well what that led to. Lady doesn’t have to be forced to do something like that.

Feri ponders. His wife’s arguments seem quite persuasive. On the other hand… He takes a sip of coffee and rum. “Well, yes,” he says. “If Lady’s mad and not responsible for her actions, then she should be reported to the police. Then the loony-bin is the right place for her.”

Eržika doesn’t like this argument, either. Why does Feri think that Lady ought to be in a loony-bin? She looks quite sane, on the whole.

Lady has finished eating and drinking. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and her searing gaze surveys the drinkers sipping their beer. She’s slept with almost all of them. She smiles wanly at the regular customers and nods to them.

“We could end up in jail for that,” says Feri in Hungarian. “We’ll be locked up and left to rot.”

“Why?” Eržika asks. “Because we take care of her? Because we feed her, clothe her and give her a roof over her head?”

“No,” says Feri. “They’ll say that we’re… you know… abusing her. She isn’t responsible for her actions; she’s insane. Just look at her.”

Eržika gives madam a look. She bends under the table to see what Lady is doing with her right hand under the table. Then she sits up, grabs Lady’s arm and forces her moist hand back onto the table.

“I think the most sensible thing to do would be to take her to the police right now,” Feri continues. He might do it personally. He doesn’t want to end up in jail. “This isn’t a joke anymore,” he adds sternly.

Eržika loses her temper. She’s livid. This is typical of Feri. Eržika is trying to earn a few crowns, to achieve something, to get out of this filthy snack bar and lavatories, but his Excellency wants to act the hero. The honest citizen. The good Samaritan.

Feri gets off the bench and slaps Eržika in the mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes are blazing. “That was too much,” he says. “You don’t use that tone with me, woman! Get it?”

Eržika falls silent and calms down. She didn’t mean anything; it’s just that…

Lady listens with her blank, distant, alienated expression to this argument in Hungarian. She finishes her hot chocolate and reaches for Feri’s Mars cigarettes. She has learned to smoke during the long boring breaks between each lover. She puts a cigarette in her pallid chafed lips. In a flash, at least four gentlemen in overalls offer her a light. Lady lights up, inhales the smoke, and smiles invitingly at the beer drinkers.

Eržika returns to her topic. She only meant to say that in the five days that Lady has spent with them they’ve made twenty-five thousand from the beer drinkers. That’s not to be sneezed at. She’d like to suggest that Feri waits until they get a quarter of a million crowns. That will be two months. Then Feri can take Lady to the police. All Eržika wants is for Feri to let her have those two months. If Eržika had wanted to, she would be lolling now in Rácz’s mansion. But she chose Feri. So, Feri shouldn’t spoil her fun now.

Feri nods. This makes it quite different. The sum Eržika has named cools his Samaritan inclinations. A quarter of a million is big money. For a start. “Very well then, have it you own way,” Feri concedes. “But then I take her to the police. So we don’t have to worry about a thing.”

He goes to the snack bar counter to get another coffee and rum. In the meantime, Eržika takes Lady into the hotel Ambassador boiler room. After a terrible row with the fat car park attendant who didn’t like his trailer being pissed in, Lady has to receive her customers in a hovel behind the boiler room on the days that Feri and Eržika are not on duty. They did a deal with Berki and Šípoš: they get a bottle of wine and a hundred crowns each per day, and they both get a free go with Lady.

The hovel is musty and dark, but it is warm and dry. From the stokers’ lavatory comes an ammoniac smell of urine. There is a shower, too, which Lady will appreciate, especially in the evening after her fiftieth customer. Besides, she’s out of sight there. Customers get there through the boiler room.

Once Lady is naked, Eržika takes all her clothes and puts them in her bag. Later she will wash them and hang them out to dry; they will be ready by morning. Lady will have no clothes until evening. Then Eržika goes to the slot machine between the hotels Ambassador-Rácz 1 and Ambassador-Rácz 2 and buys fifty condoms. That’s enough for one day. Eržika has to use alternate slot machines; sometimes they run out. Eržika doesn’t like this job: originally, proud Feri was supposed to buy them, but he’s too embarrassed. It’s up to her, then. Besides that, Eržika has to buy lavatory paper and cleaning fluid for tomorrow’s shift. Her feet hurt; in addition to her own person and her shopping, she also has to lump her and Feri’s embryo.

Bartaloš sits drinking his second cup of coffee and rum. Soon fellow drinkers join him. They all have a go with Lady and then join him. They get their cards out and play “sixty-six” until noon. Then comes lunch; Feri and Eržika take their seats. The choice is limited: schnitzel with cheese, schnitzel with garlic, fried ox testicles, grilled chicken, fat pork sausage. This comes with round stuffed green peppers and bread. And beer.