Hannah Gersen - Home Field

“It’s not strange.” Dean knelt down to take his hands. “Hey, listen to me, it’s not strange. Nothing is strange in this world.”

Robbie nodded, taking deep breaths to hold back his tears.

Dean put his hand on Robbie’s shoulder and led him through the kitchen where Stephanie and Bryan were sitting quietly with his father, aware that something important was transpiring in the next room. Dean signaled for them to follow him outside.

He didn’t have to say where he was going; it was obvious. They followed the driveway up the slight hill that led to the barn. Dean remembered driving away from it to go to the hospital, seeing it in his rearview mirror and knowing his life had changed forever. But he hadn’t really known. He wasn’t the kind of person who understood things in an instant.

When they reached the barn, Dean’s father helped him slide the heavy doors open. The horses stirred as light shone into their stalls. Dean could smell their bodies. There were only four horses; the white barn was the smallest of three barns on the property, and most of it was devoted to storage. The rope swing had been toward the back of the barn, near the hayloft, but it had been removed.

Robbie stood still, and then he walked down the dirt aisle to a particular spot. He looked up toward the barn’s vaulted ceiling and then he knelt down and he touched the floor with his hand flat on the ground like he was trying to make an impression. Dean wished he had a wreath or a flower or a stone to offer. He thought of his visits to the battlefield, the potent sense of lives lost. His wife had fought hard for her life; she had fought hard and she had been defeated. He had to honor that. Maybe that was all anyone ever meant by forgiveness.

THE RAIN HAD already passed over the valley and the sky was a rinsed blue. Dean stood on a hill, watching the teams line up on the field below. His legs and chest ached pleasantly from his sprint across the parking lot. He was too far away to identify his girls, and he had no idea of the course they were about to run. But he didn’t care, he was just grateful to have made it to this spot.

Next to him, Robbie, Bryan, and Stephanie were yelling, “Go blue!” and trying to get the attention of the crowd of Willowboro spectators at the bottom of the hill. He felt an easy happiness, a desire simply to be near the people who meant the most to him.

The crowd went quiet as the starter walked out onto the field. He raised his arms and shot the pistol. A cloud of smoke appeared, floating like a ghost above the advancing runners. Dean watched it dissolve before following his children down the hill and across the playing field.

First, to Maura Candela and Courtney Knowlton, who coaxed this — and many other stories, essays, and novels — into existence. You are my first, most generous readers, and I can’t thank you enough for your kindness, discernment, and insight — and of course, for all the gossip you’ve shared with me over the years.

To Emma Patterson, my agent: your support of and attention to my writing have made me a better storyteller. Thank you for everything.

To Margaux Weisman, my editor, and everyone at William Morrow: thank you for bringing this book to life with so much care and intelligence.

To Jennifer Acker, Kimberly England, and Krista Hoeppner-Leahy: your friendships have enriched my life in too many ways to list.

To Katie Bradley and Amanda Delong: you eased the loneliness of working alone. I couldn’t have written this book without you two.

To my family, especially my husband, whose love and support have meant the world to me.

Andrew Solomon’s The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression was an inspiring and invaluable resource in writing this story.

I grew up in a beautiful corner of western Maryland. I am indebted to this landscape, and I tried to capture its essence in the fictional town of Willowboro. The events and characters in this book come from my imagination and should not be confused with real people or situations.

About the author

Meet Hannah Gersen

About the book

Reading Group Guide

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Suggested Reading

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Meet Hannah Gersen

HANNAH GERSENwas born in Maine and grew up in western Maryland. She is a staff writer for The Millions , and her writing has been published in the New York Times, Granta , and The Southern Review , among others. Home Field is her first novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her family.

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Reading Group Guide

1. Aside from a pure and genuine love of the game, what do you think Dean gets out of his team that he doesn’t get from his home life?

2. The author sets the story in 1996. How does this choice affect the tone and atmosphere of the novel? How did it affect your reading?

3. Both Stephanie and her brothers have an episode with their mother’s clothing after her death. What do the differences in their responses mean to you? How are they using the clothes to cope with their loss?

4. Do you think Dean made the right choice in stepping down from his position? Why or why not?

5. Do you think Stephanie made the right choice in going to college right away? Why or why not?

6. Do you think Dean and Laura end up together? Why or why not?

7. A particularly evocative memory Stephanie has of her mother involves stopping by the side of the road to eat a peach. Why is this image so powerful? What does it signify?

8. Another very evocative memory is of Nicole being unable to cut a lemon and Stephanie pulling over to the side of the road to cry. Why do you think this is such a successful illustration of depression? How does it complement the moment with the peach?

9. Do you relate to Stephanie’s experience in her first months of college? Why or why not?

10. One of the most heartbreaking moments in the book is when Jessica’s mom is speaking with Dean and unwittingly begins talking about Nicole, referring to her as “that sweet woman.” Why is this moment so powerful? What is the author trying to show us?

11. What are some of the leitmotifs the author employs in her writing and how do they work to advance the themes of the novel?

Snow , by Orhan Pamuk

If there’s any one book that inspired this novel, it’s Snow . It’s the story of an exiled Turkish poet, Ka, who returns to Turkey to investigate a rash of suicides among young, religious girls in a small village. I love the mysterious, uncertain atmosphere of this novel; it enveloped me immediately, from the first scene when Ka boards a bus that almost seems to take him back in time. Although I read Snow years before I started working on Home Field , there was something about its odd angles that got me thinking about where I grew up and how I might write about it.

Independence Day , by Richard Ford

I read this at the recommendation of my husband, who doesn’t read much fiction, so when he likes a book I pay attention. It took him several months to finish it, and I teased him about that until I started reading it. Even though the story takes place over only a few days, it’s densely narrated by Frank Bascombe, the protagonist of several of Ford’s books. I love Bascombe’s narration, especially his vocabulary, which is so American in the way that he mixes poetic language with regional slang, technical terms with academic allusions, and ten-dollar words with the simplest endearments and place names.