Rob Doyle - Here Are the Young Men

He stood there, intensely aware of everything: of the carousing city behind him; of the rushing water below; of the starless night sky and, beyond it, the real darkness, the true night that lasted forever and knew nothing of Rez.

Rez lifted his right leg forward, over the water. He let the weight of it pull him out, slowly but inexorably until, silent and unseen, he fell forward and plunged into the dark river.

— Joseph Kearney

To: Matthew Connelly

Email received at 6:23

05/07/2003

alrite connelly! u nob jockey

watz up horse

jesus krist i just dont no were to start. im havin de best time of me life over hear and i just wanted to rub yr face in it hahaha. tell de others 2. anyfiwho stays in dublin must be a rent-boy r some kind of demon queer. dats all im sayin. u benders havent got a clue

evry single day and night ive been off me fucking face. im off me fuckin facr right now in fact!! me and dwayne an his mate egon hav just hoovered up a gram of coke in 15 minnets excpet now ders some debate as to weather it was actually coke at all. apparently not. maybe amphetamine or benzadrine r some other brain fucking powder … who knows. de question is purely akademic im fucked off me face and dats all dat truly matters lol;/winkwinkwank

when i got to de airport last week dwayne was der waitin for me. he was wearin dis poncey hat like pork pie hat or wotever. and he lifts it up and ders dis ROW of joints on the in side and dat waas only de start of the fun haha. straight to NYC for days of may hem and den back to d apartment in boston were hesstaying with 12 other mad irish cunts … all dat weekend we didnt sleep der was dis dj in the gaff playin hard house and ders no fuckin furniture just bare floorboards hahaa. smokin CRISTAL METH n everything. and boston is HOT!!! i mean HOT!!! as in: scald yer bollox off

last nite we went to a gig. techno is de best but ill go to hardcore rock gigs with dwayne de metaller. as long as its hard and RELENTless and i can get totally monged who really gives a fuck!! de band was called DRUG ORGY and neither of us had heard of dem but it was obvious dey were goin to be gud with a neme like dat or so we taught!!! so we drop a cuple of yokes and drink a bottle of sambucha wiht de lads up on the rooftop n den we head in on de trolly (dats de tramline nigga) and get into de gig fucking REVVIN for it. as soon as we get past de bouncers dwayne goes to me “stick me finger in yr mouth!!” and i goes “wot yr off yer head u insestuous kweerboy!!” but he goes “shut de fuck up and suck me fuckin finger nigga” so i do and d taste is pure mank like dis metal taste pure chemcial taste and i goes what de fuck is dat!!! and he goes “MDMA!!!!” its a fuckin WUNDERDRUG!!! yeah boyeee

den the band cums on and weere fuckin totally off our heads just like screamin at de hevens and dwayne has dis drool comin out of him his eyes are rolled back in his head totally mad out of it fuckin zombie holocaust. n den de band comes on and weer ready for total metal holocaust but suddenly we see its dis nerdy bunch of little cunts with trousers n glasses n der was even figirl in de band. a girl with pony tail and glasses!! n me n dwanye look at each other in like pure horrer goin Is dis DRUGg ORgy r u fuckin seerious? and dey start playin dis warbly fag music with banjos and flutes and all dis shite and d song i swear to fuck i looked it up online afterwords cos i was so distorubed. de song was called HOMEMADE PESTO AND CHILEAN WINE WON’T SAVE US FROM THE ABYSS!!! it was about trees and organic bred n such bollix. adn den anoter song was called OH CLIVE, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN POE AND FAULKNER. total faggits!!!

me and dwayne wer redy to get de fuck out uf their. but wile dwayne is at the bar gettin one mroe shot each for the road dis hot little indie bird beside me starts lookin at me. lovely tits on her like ye just want to stick yer face in and go nuts and fuckin bite dem off hahaha. and i start gettin big rushes of blood to me mickey cos im fucked off me head and i smile at her tinkin id luv 2 put d willy inside hur but suddenly its not just her its her friends too. male friends all of dem starin at me and no one is smilin like. and i think wat de fuck is rong now? and i start wonderin if dey are anti irish or somethin. and dis big lanky cunt shakes his hed adn goes “dis ain’t cool man” and sticks his finger in me chest and goes “de fuck is dis huh?” and i goes nothin cos i dont know wat de fuck its all about and now the little indy bitch goes “do u tink its like cool or sometin. is it all a joke to u. or do u really think its cool to like masscacre 3000 people” and i goes “i didnt massacre anyone!!!” and im totlally lost thinkin “Do dey think im an A-rab or sometin??!”

an den de penny drops n i look down at me t shirt n i remember dat its de one, u know d black one i had made back in dublin with JIHAD!!! printed across de frunt. id fuckin forgotten i was fuckin wearin it an be now everyones shoutin at me n slappin me hed and im panickin goin wheres dwayne but hes over by de bar laffin his hed off n the bouncer comes flyin over n goes “de fuck outta here!!!” he goes “n dont come back or i break yr neck asshole!!” he goes

so dat was dat dey fucked me out and i put on my hoodie wit like quiet dignity den dwayne comes out and we went off into de nite to get fucked off our merry little heds. fuckin deadly

i taught id tell u that little story for a laff hhahaha fuck dem infidels. bush. fuck dat de only bush i care about is yer fuckin mas bush!!! hoho!!! did u get me postcards oh niggz. i hope so n gess wat. dis fella Stu is comin up next week from LA or sumwer n dwayne goes “now weell get sum real drugs” n apparantly he has sumething else but he wont say wat it is … not drugs but sumeting real interestin. dwayne says stu is a total mental cunt so lets wate n see.

been on dis fuckin computer 4 ages. its only cos i love ye n i want to ride de hole off ye ye fuckin ride ye

B COOL BiTCH

ALLAH FORGIVE U!

THE K

SHAME ON DA NIGGA!!!!! I FUCK YO ASS UP!!!!

PS wats dis??

anser: a 1-eyed chink blowin u a kiss hahaha

perhaps u put yr DICK tru his eye???

haha lightin up im only jokin

off me fuckin chops i am

jesis kirrst

I deleted Kearney’s email and didn’t bother replying. Then I turned off the computer and took a bus into town to meet Jen for her birthday.

It was the fifth of July, a Saturday, and another warm, beautiful evening. We walked around randomly, chatting and happy. I’d bought her a book about some girl who had travelled around Asia looking for magic beads or enlightenment.

When we were in George’s Street Arcade looking at old vinyl records, my phone beeped with a text. It was from Rez.

‘ jesus matthew i did something v stupid last night it could have been disastrous. im all fcked up i think i need help dont say it to anyone … jesus .’

‘What the fuck?’ I said, staring at the screen.

Jen frowned. ‘What’s wrong?’ I showed it to her. ‘Oh my God. What’s he done? Is he okay? Call him, Matthew.’

I called but it rang out. I tried again with the same result. ‘He’s not answerin.’

‘This is really bad,’ she said. My phone beeped again.

‘ haha just kidding, nothing wrong. was only having a laugh. will call u later about tonight R .’

I locked the phone and put it in my pocket. ‘He says he was only kidding. What a sap: he had me thinking he had gone and tried to do a Stephen Horrigan or something.’

Jen said nothing, eyes narrowed, reflecting. ‘I’m worried, Matthew. There’s something wrong. We should do something.’