Mauro Cardenas - The Revolutionaries Try Again

After signing off at midnight Rolando drives to his house instead of driving to Eva’s house because the night before she’d told him she wasn’t going to be home — errands to run she said — at midnight? really? — but because he wanted to focus on his first day on the air — for which he had drafted three segments and had rehearsed them in front of the bathroom mirror — trying on different personas — different voices — which he had to rehearse in silence because his father was asleep in the other room — which was an odd thing for Rolando to do — to murmur the grandiloquence he was after — and if an audience would have been watching they might have said that his voice was refusing to participate in the borrowed theatrics of his face — call now! — no I won’t — murmuring — don’t make me — murmuring — and because he wanted to focus on his first day on the air he tried not to think about how dubious it was for Eva to be running errands at midnight — at least she could’ve found a better excuse no? — and Rolando is parking his father’s pickup truck and he’s surprised all the lights in the house are out — the lightbulbs on the porch — the desk lamps in the living room — which is neither good nor bad — just is — and he can imagine his father sleeping in his armchair inside and operating the lights in his sleep — which is a ridiculous thing to imagine — so what? — his father shutting off the lights so that the darkness around him will filter into his dreams and console him there too — and although it’s late Rolando expected — what? — what did you expect? — nothing — because my father doesn’t see the point of my radio — because what my father probably wants is for me to chain myself to the Formica tables inside his restaurant so that he has time to transform another hole in the wall into a cheap lunch place — welcome to Don Alban’s Another Ton of Lunch — and he can imagine his father’s franchise of lunchrooms — thousands of caves underneath busted hotels — and what my father probably wants is for me to man a pickaxe and — what? — do you really know what your father wants? — no I don’t — why don’t you ask him? — what do you want from me Father? — to slave like you? — I’m sorry not to slave like you to grovel like you? — is that the best you can muster against your father? — there’s more — more what? — more ass kissing — so kissing him on the mouth is out? — shut up — and Rolando is parking his father’s pickup truck and all the lights are out and Rolando’s opening the door and — Surprise! — and the lights are on now and there’s a sign that reads congratulations — and there’s a cake decorated with candles and cookies shaped like radio dials — and his father embraces him and says congratulations Rolandazo — congratulations — and what Rolando will remember later is the stiffness with which he receives his father’s embrace — the abruptness with which he breaks from it — the ridiculous silence he adopts to suppress his gratefulness — and Rolando will see himself stepping out of himself and inspecting what’s left of him there — you son of a bitch — but then that night begins again and Rolando’s parking his father’s pickup truck and he’s opening the door and — surprise his father says — surprise! — and the lights are on now and there’s a sign that reads congratulations — and there’s cookies shaped like radio dials — and Rolando says thank you so much father as if accepting a medal from a bishop or a general — how could I forget Rolandazo — and later Rolando will also think of his sister — of how cold he’d been when he’d said goodbye to her at the airport — not cold — no — absent — because the week before she was to fly to Guatemala to begin her crossing of the border to the United States he had imagined saying goodbye to her at the airport so many times that when the day actually came he had already cried — had already emptied himself and embraced her — mi ñañita — and so repeating what he’d already imagined would have felt like acting so that morning at the airport he patted her too hard on the back and said don’t sweat it Alma it’s probably not as hard as they say to cross that border — which turned out not to be true — they didn’t hear from her for more than six months and when they finally did the news was excruciating — Alma corazón — but then that morning at the airport begins again and he’s embracing her and saying I’ll miss you so much ñañita — please take care — remember when we used to play topos? — topo / topo / topo — and Rolando is parking his father’s pickup truck and — surprise! — and the lights are on now and there’s a sign that reads congratulations — and there’s confetti sprinkled on the floor and toy trumpets on the kitchen table and Rolando’s embracing his father and Rolando’s saying you don’t know how much this means to me.

Someone bangs on the door — someone fusses with the doorknob although the door is open and — Surprise! — and Eva’s sprinting toward him as if to tackle him before Rolando can say what the hell are you — and she’s tossing the bouquet of orchids she has brought for him on his father’s armchair and she’s jumping on him and because she’s taller than him — bigger than him — no she isn’t — Rolando falls backwards — which doesn’t hurt — and on the floor Eva’s body encapsulates him and Rolando closes his eyes and places his arms around her and hears the translucent plastic of the bouquet crackling — the faucet in the kitchen running — a vase gently landing on the table — a chair trying not to creak.

Later that night at Eva’s house — on Eva’s bed — she says I heard it all — Heard what? — Your radio show silly — Ah — That Leonor and Aurora are quite something no? — I guess so — You should invite them back or hire them as neighborhood commentators — I guess so — The people were going wild when Leonor and Aurora came on — What people? — By Lucila’s food stand — So like three people — No Rolancho I brought chairs — What? — Ten foldable chairs — How did you carry them up? — Look at these arms and weep machote — Ha ha — Oh and your father helped me carry them — Really? — We arranged them in a circle and we sat by Lucila’s food stand and listened to you while Lucila stirred her soup to showcase its flora and fauna to the people who were peering inside her pot and asking where are the bollos Lucila? — And Lucila said abracadabra pata de cabra? — My bollos are packed with so much beef they don’t float — and when Leonor and Aurora came on the air she and his father noticed people were hanging around longer than before — They were slurping their soups slowly as if they were only allowed to stay if their bowls were full you should have seen them trying to laugh without displaying the food in their mouths their mothers must have taught them not to talk with their mouths open and you could hear some of them saying sock her Leonor that Aurora’s an ingrate and most of them didn’t want it to end the way it did — So? — So I had an idea — Did they like anything else besides the Leonor and Aurora Show? — and unfortunately Rolando’s question comes out too pleadingly — which is what he’d been worrying about while Eva was talking — but fortunately Eva hasn’t noticed because she’s steeped in her idea which she’s about to — Participation is key — I’ve been telling them to call now — No Rolancho what I mean is different — Call later? — No Rolandis — Call the day after tomorrow? — I was thinking that we could put on a play in the neighborhood plaza and let the audience participate — You mean like a singalong? — We’ll cast and direct the play but we’ll let them decide what happens next and then we’ll transmit it on Radio Nuevo Día — This radio wasn’t meant as entertainment — I know Rolanbobo but the plots of the plays don’t have to be about Lola’s betrayal or about Ricardo the Rich falling in love with Pepa the Poor or about Ricky Martin’s hairless chest but about the people — The people love Ricky Martin Eva — I know that — I know you know that — Did you like my radio voice? — Your voice was perfect the people hate acerbic screeds you were lighthearted and kind of funny — Kind of? — Call me now? — You come here now.