Iris Murdoch - The Sandcastle

Donald leaned crouching against the base of the wall. ‘Jump on my back, Fella,’ he said.

This was a familiar routine. Felicity jumped. Donald rose slowly until he was standing upright, with Felicity standing upon his shoulders, her clambering hands now reaching the top of the wall, and her head well over the top. She began to pull herself up. Donald helped by putting his hands under her feet. She got into a sitting position on top of the wall and then gingerly transferred her legs over to the far side.

She looked down at Donald. ‘Don,’ she said, ‘I’m going on that raid. I’m going now. And remember you promised.

‘I didn’t promise anything!’ said Donald, exasperated. ‘Now shut up, Fella, and get down off that wall before someone sees you.

‘I am going!’ said Felicity.

‘I forbid you to go,’ said Donald,‘and I won’t pay you anything if you do. Now get down off that wall.

‘I’m going now,’ said Felicity, ‘and if you don’t keep your promise I’ll never speak to you again. She addressed herself to the task of getting off the wall. It was a big jump. She let herself down as far as she could, and then closed her eyes. Next moment she was rolling over in the grass. She called, ’Good-bye, Don.‘

‘Wait a moment,’ said Don’s voice from the other side of the wall. There was a prolonged scrabbling sound. Then Donald appeared on top of the wall. He drew his feet up, half rose to a standing position, and then sprang down towards Felicity, staggered, and fell at her feet. He recovered himself quickly and then started walking primly up the hill as if nothing had happened. Felicity ran beside him.

‘Look here,’ said Donald, and he sounded angry, ‘you’re going home now. I’m going to see you to the house and we won’t hear any more of this awful rot.’

‘You can see me home,’ said Felicity easily, ‘but you can’t keep me at home. And as soon as you go I shall go off on the raid. Do look at Liffey. She’s seen that big black dog and she’s waving her tail. Can you see her tail? Shall I call her with the supersonic whistle?’

Oh, shut up,‘ said Donald. ’Felicity, I will not be blackmailed by you.‘

‘How do people stop themselves being blackmailed?’ asked Felicity.

‘Listen,’ said Donald, ‘if you go on this silly raid I shall have to come too. And if we’re caught, everyone will think it was my idea.’ They had passed the school gates and turned into the green-shaded maze of roads near their own house.

‘If Demoyters catches us,’ said Felicity, ‘he won’t report you to Evvy. You know he never reports anyone to Evvy.’

‘Maybe not,’ said Donald, ‘but Demoyters can be quite unpleasant enough on his own account’

I’m not afraid of him,‘ said Felicity. ’If you are, you needn’t come.‘

‘I’ll torture you when we get back, Fella,’ said Donald. ‘If anyone spots us, by the way, we met a few minutes ago by accident.’

They came down an overgrown gravel track between some garages and emerged on to the fields that lay between the housing estate and Brayling’s Close. There was no shade here and the golden expanse was crackling in the heat. The hay had been cut for some time and the grass was sharp and stubbly and very dry. The footpath was crumbling and dusty. The hot weather had lasted a long time. Felicity led the way, and they walked on in silence until they could see distantly through the trees the rosy colour of the bricks and the glint of windows. They paused. Then Felicity saw Angus.

He had taken the form of a gipsy, and was sitting not far from the path on the edge of a dry weedy ditch. He sat with one leg down deep in the tall grasses of the ditch, and the other folded upon the shorter grass of the meadow. He sat in a dignified attitude with his head thrown back and his reddish brown neck and chest exposed. He looked straight at Felicity. His face had a sort of expressionless gravity. He was rather frightening. Felicity knew that it must be Angus because of the weird aura that surrounded him, and because of the strange unexpected manner of his appearance. This time it was certainly Angus. She wished that he would not take on these somewhat disconcerting forms, but she supposed that it was impossible for divine beings to manifest themselves without being alarming, even when they wished one well. He sat so still that he was almost invisible. Donald had not seen him, and Felicity decided not to reveal his presence. She took Donald by the sleeve and led him a few paces on until the gipsy was hidden by a hedge.

Felicity suddenly began to feel very uneasy. She wanted to go back. She plucked Donald by the coat which he was carrying over his arm and said, ‘Don, don’t climb that tower. I know it will end badly. Please say now that you won’t climb it, and then we can both go home.’

Donald looked down at her. He touched her freckled nose lightly with his finger. ‘We won’t turn back at this point, mister mate,’ he said. ‘As for the climb, I probably won’t do it. It was all Carde’s idea anyway.’

They walked on very slowly towards the house. In a minute the little path would reach the low crumbling stone wall at the end of Demoyte’s garden and turn away to the left towards the road. It was the dead time of the afternoon. Donald and Felicity, who were familiar with the habits of the Demoyte household, knew that they could count on Demoyte and Miss Handforth being laid out in their bedrooms, with drawn curtains, taking their siesta. To enter the house should not be difficult. The only unknown quantity was Miss Carter herself.

While Donald was peering over the wall, Felicity looked about her. She was still unnerved by the manifestation of Angus. At the base of the wall a great many flowers were growing, and the freshness of their opening petals showed even through the brown dust which lay upon them: ragged robin, tansy, campion, valerian, and charlock. The flowers that grow in waste places. Felicity looked down at them tenderly. Then she began to pick them.

‘Christ!’ said Donald. ‘What a moment to pick flowers! Look, we’ll get over the wall there, behind those bushes, and work our way along under cover of the yew hedge. Then come up close to the house, out of view of the windows, and walk round to the front door. If it’s locked, we try the kitchen. If anyone sees us we say we’re looking for Daddy, we thought he was here. Once inside the house, listen for sounds - then upstairs, and trust to our luck. The Carter will certainly be in the corner room at the back. All right? Follow me.’

Donald sounded eager. The excitement of the chase had taken hold of him. He dodged along by the wall and then climbed over it at a point where it was covered by a clump of tall syringa bushes growing in Demoyte’s garden. Clutching her bunch of flowers Felicity followed. This wall was an easy one. They walked cautiously, keeping close to the hedge, and then passed through the archway into full view of the windows. In a quick stride Donald crossed the open piece of lawn and was against the wall of the house. Felicity followed. A moment later they were at the front door. It was open. They stepped inside the house.

Within there was complete silence. Both the children were breathing deeply, and it seemed to them that the sound must be audible on the landing above. They stood quite still until they had recovered their breath. They looked at each other with wide shining eyes, and Felicity took Donald’s hand and pressed it hard. Then with noiseless footsteps they crept across the hall and began to ascend the stairs. The house was sleepy with the heat. All the windows were wide open and the warm dusty atmosphere drifted cloudily in from the garden. The beams of the sun, falling directly upon the staircase, made a zone of hazy yellow light through which the children ascended on tiptoe. The stairs did not creak. Once on the landing they could lay their feet upon a long thick Baluchistan rug. They glided along it and stood poised outside the door of the guest room. No sound came from within.