Eva Mazza - Sex, Lies & Stellenbosch

“Jesus, Frankie! Brigit. She was on the phone. She heard you, dammit, Frankie.” He sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. This revelation seemed to calm her down. “I’m sorry, John, I didn’t mean for her to…”

“Please, just go,” he said.

She left the room as quietly as she had come in.

Brigit sat on her bed, legs crossed, shell shocked. She couldn’t believe her father! This was just too much to absorb, too much to digest. The one person she could count on had failed her, unreservedly. Her heart palpitated. She stared at her phone at the foot of her bed. An unexploded hand grenade. She jumped when it vibrated. Caller-ID read, “best dad”. She leaned across the bed to reach it and rejected his call. “Fuck you, Daddy!” she screamed.

She paced up and down her bedroom, second guessing herself. Had she heard right? Did Frankie accuse him of cheating? Why? Why! She had to speak to someone! Her therapist was the first person to come to mind and she dialled her number then hung up. She couldn’t be certain this constituted an emergency to disturb her on a Sunday. There was only one person with whom she could speak. It didn’t take long for him to answer. “Lee!” she cried as she heard his voice. “I need to see you. Something dreadful has happened.”

Lee was reading the Sunday papers. He was tired. He’d left the party later than anticipated. Frankie had been fixated on Patty and John. She was hell-bent on keeping an eye on them. And poor Jen; her speech had been caustic. He saw the humour in it, but he knew John so well. He certainly hated when the joke was on him.

He answered Brig’s call immediately. He had spoken briefly to her at the party. But after that awkward afternoon it felt like they had both been avoiding each other; he had to admit, he had certainly been avoiding her.

“Hey, Brig.” That is how the younger generation greet one another? His son answered all his calls with a “hey”.

All Lee heard was, “I need to see you.” Brigit’s hysteria had made her inaudible.

The last thing he felt like doing was driving to the city. But Brigit had sounded distraught, so he forced himself up from his chair, brushed his teeth, splashed on some aftershave and quickly changed into a pair of chinos and a t-shirt before grabbing one of many sets of car keys. He just hoped this wasn’t a ploy to seduce him. Surely she wouldn’t try again, not after he had blocked her advances? The front door slammed on his way out.

Frankie had left the house early, mumbling something about helping Jen out, so there was no need to explain to her why he was driving to the city on a Sunday. He decided to take the Ferrari. The roads would be quieter, and he could really hit the open road. Driving a sports car at full throttle was something he very seldom got to do, so the drive, at least, was some consolation.

He hadn’t even knocked on Brigit’s door when it opened. She looked a mess, her eyes red and swollen, her mascara smudged and her hair looking as if it hadn’t been combed in a year. He breathed a sigh of relief. She had no intention of jumping him!

“My God, Brigit, what’s wrong? Has someone died?”

“Figuratively speaking, yes, someone has just died.” Lee knew that Brigit could be melodramatic, and she wasn’t holding back. He had forgotten how hysterical young women were. Thank God I have a son.

“Okay, make me a cup of coffee, and then we can sit down and chat. Try be calm, Brig. No one’s died, thank goodness.” He sunk into the sofa.

Brigit didn’t move; instead, she blurted out: “It’s worse than death. My father is cheating on my mother!”

Lee sat up. “Have you got proof, Brig?”

“Yes,” she sobbed.

He needed a whisky, never mind a coffee. He got up from the sofa and went to make espresso for both of them. Handing her one, he asked again, “How do you know?”

“I was on the phone to Daddy this morning. I had WhatsApped him to say I wasn’t going to lunch. He hadn’t responded. So, I called him.”

Lee looked beyond Brig’s tear-stained face. He could see a resemblance to Jen. “You’re still not telling me how you found out about your dad. Ag, Brig, it may not in fact be true.”

“I’m trying to tell you, Lee!” Brigit answered, flustered. “It’s true because I heard Frankie screaming at him.”

“What! Frankie? My wife?”

“How many Frankie’s are there, Lee? She’d interrupted our call. She came in screaming at Dad about being a two-timing asshole.” Brigit laughed sardonically. “Dad hadn’t dropped the call, so I heard everything.” She wiped fresh tears on the sleeve of her dressing gown.

A man’s worst nightmare . Being caught out by your wife is one thing, but being exposed as a lying cheat to your children ? Eina! Poor John. Poor Brig. And poor, poor Jen! And Frankie? Lee was angry with her for making matters worse. Why couldn’t she have minded her own business?

“Brigit, do you think your dad knows you know?”

“Of course he knows! He realised I was still on the phone! I told him I heard everything.”

Fuck! Lee thought. “Brigit, I, I don’t know what to say. Just that we’re all human.” He could see Brig prepare for battle. “Wait. Let me finish. I’m not condoning what your dad did, but maybe he was drunk. Wait, Brig. Hear me out. Who knows? All I know is, he made a mistake and he was caught. God knows, Brigit, it could be Frankie finding out about us. If we had done something stupid.”

That stopped her. “Are you trying to say something, Lee?”

“I’m saying that we all make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t think things through. And alcohol can be a very important factor.”

“Well, you were drunk, and I didn’t manage to seduce you.” She was laughing.

If he closed his eyes, it could be Jen he was speaking to. Brig hated her mom, but she was just like her . He smiled. “Brigit, I always think things through, drunk or not.”

Lee thought about John. What the hell happened, that’s what I’d like to know? How did he allow himself to be seduced by Patty? He smiled. Easy. Everyone lusts over Patty. John was always in control. His mates had often joked with him that he was a dark horse, probably having loads of fun behind their backs. At the club, while the others would lose face, he never once got out of hand. He was a good sport, but that was where it ended.

“So, John, you’re not tempted by any of these girls?” Frans had asked him on their way back from the club one night.

“Of course I am, but I can keep my dick in my pants, unlike you motherfuckers!”

They’d all laughed.

“Hey, John,” Lee had cut in. “I’m reasonably well behaved.”

“Who wouldn’t be?” it was Lecherous Larry. “You’re married to Frankie.”

“Kak, man,” John had retorted. “It’s his medication; it takes away the desire.”

Lee had laughed at John’s joke. The fact that it was partly true irritated him. Frankie had an insatiable sex drive which he couldn’t keep up with since his diagnosis. He remembered their fight.

“Lee!” she had screamed at him. “I love sex and you’re not interested.”

“It’s the medication, my love. I’m sorry.”

“Well you’d better do something, Lee. I can’t live like this.”

“Are you threatening me, Frankie?”

“No, I’m not threatening you. I’m just telling you that I am young and nubile. So best you get your shit together. That’s all.”

It was true. Frankie was the babe his friends lusted after. It was Frans who always said that John managed to bag himself the catch of Stellenbosch, and Lee, the sexiest woman alive. “No wonder you’re such loyal husbands. You have a lot to lose.” This had made Lee do something he didn’t normally do: disclose personal stuff to his friends.