Cecelia Ahern - If You Could See Me Now

She yawned and stretched and, still unable to open her eyes against the bright light, she instead felt around her bedside locker for her alarm clock. Although she woke up every morning at the same time, she never forgot to set her alarm. Her arm knocked against something cold and hard and it fell with a loud bang to the floor. Her sleepy heart jumped with fright.

Hanging her head over the side of the bed, she caught sight of the iron poker lying on her white carpet. Her “weapon” also reminded her that she had to call Rentokil to get rid of the mice. She could sense them scurrying around her in the house all weekend and she had felt so paranoid that they were in her bedroom the past few nights that she could hardly sleep, although that wasn’t particularly unusual for her.

She washed and dressed and after waking Luke, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Minutes later, with espresso in hand, she dialed the number to Rentokil. Luke wandered into the kitchen sleepily, blond hair tossed, dressed in an orange T-shirt half tucked into red shorts. The outfit was completed with odd socks and a pair of runners that lit up with every step he took.

“Where’s Ivan?” he asked groggily, looking around the kitchen as though he’d never been in the room before in his life. He was like that every morning, it took him at least an hour to wake up even once he was dressed and walking around. During the dark winter mornings it took him even longer; Elizabeth supposed that somewhere into his morning classes at school he finally realized what he was doing.

“Where’s Ivan?” he repeated to no one in particular.

Elizabeth silenced him by holding her finger to her lips, and giving him a glare as she listened to the lady from Rentokil. He knew not to interrupt her when she was on the phone. “Well, I only noticed it this weekend. Since Friday lunchtime, actually, so I was wond—”

“Ivan?” Luke yelled, and began wandering around the kitchen, looking under the table, behind the curtains, behind the doors. Elizabeth rolled her eyes. This carry-on again.

“No, I haven’t actually seen—”

“IVAAAAN?”

“—one yet but I definitely feel that they’re around.” Elizabeth finished and tried to catch Luke’s eye so that she could give him the glare again.

“Ivan WHERE ARE YOOOUUU?” Luke called.

“Droppings? No, no droppings,” Elizabeth said, getting frustrated.

Luke stopped shouting and his ears perked up. “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU PROPERLY.”

“No, I don’t have any mousetraps. Look, I’m very busy, I don’t have time for twenty questions. Can’t someone just come out and check?” Elizabeth snapped.

Luke suddenly ran from the kitchen and out into the hall. She heard him banging at the living room door. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE, Ivan?” He pulled at the handle.

Elizabeth slammed down the phone after her conversation had ended. Luke was shouting through the living room door at full volume. Her blood boiled.

“LUKE! GET IN HERE NOW!”

The banging at the living room door stopped immediately. He shuffled slowly into the kitchen.

“DON’T DRAG YOUR FEET!” she yelled.

He lifted his feet and the lights on the soles of his runners flashed with every step. He stood before her and spoke quietly and as innocently as he possibly could in his high-pitched voice. “Why did you lock Ivan into the living room last night?”

She had to put an end to this now. She would choose this moment to sit down and discuss the issue with Luke and by the end of it he would respect her wishes, she would help him see sense, and there would be no more talk of invisible friends.

“And Ivan wants to know why you brought the fire poker to bed with you?” he added, feeling more confident by her failure to scream at him again.

Elizabeth exploded. “There will be no more talk of this Ivan, do you hear me?”

Luke’s face went white.

“DO YOU HEAR ME?” she shouted. She didn’t even give him a chance to answer. “You know as well as I do that there is no such thing as Ivan. He does not play chasing, he does not eat pizza, he is not in the living room, and he is not your friend because he does not exist .”

Luke’s face crumpled up as though he was about to cry.

Elizabeth continued. “Today you are going to your granddad’s and if I hear from him that there was one mention of Ivan, you will be in big trouble . Do you understand?”

Luke began to cry softly.

“Do you understand?” she repeated.

He nodded his head slowly as tears rushed down his face.

Elizabeth’s blood stopped boiling and her throat began to ache from shouting. “Now sit at the table and I’ll bring you your cereal,” she said softly. She fetched the Coco Pops; usually she didn’t allow him to eat such sugary breakfasts, but she hadn’t exactly discussed the Ivan situation with him entirely as planned. She knew she had a problem keeping her temper. She sat at the table and watched him pour Coco Pops into his cereal bowl. His little hands wobbled with the weight of the milk carton. Milk splashed onto the table. She held back from shouting at him again, although she had just cleaned the table yesterday evening until it sparkled. Something Luke had said was bothering her and she couldn’t quite remember what it was. She rested her chin on her hand and watched Luke eating. He munched slowly. Sadly.

There was silence, apart from the crunching in Luke’s mouth. Finally, after a few minutes, he spoke. “Where’s the key to the living room?” he asked, refusing to catch her eye.

“Luke, not with your mouth full,” she said softly. She took the key to the living room out of her pocket, went out to the doorway in the hall, and twisted the key. “There now, Ivan is free to leave the house,” she joked and immediately regretted saying it.

“He’s not,” Luke said sadly from the kitchen table. “He can’t open doors himself.”

Silence.

“He can’t,” Elizabeth repeated.

Luke shook his head as if what he had said was the most normal thing in the world. It was the most ridiculous thing Elizabeth had ever heard. What kind of an imaginary friend was he if he couldn’t walk through walls and doors? Well, she wasn’t opening the door, she had unlocked it and that was silly enough. She went back to the kitchen to gather her belongings for work. Luke finished his cereal, placed the bowl in the dishwasher, washed his hands, dried them, and made his way to the living room door. He turned the handle, pushed open the door, stepped out of the way, smiled broadly at nothing, placed his finger over his lips, pointed at Elizabeth with another, and giggled quietly to himself. Elizabeth watched with horror. She walked down the hall and stood beside Luke at the doorway. She looked into the living room.

Empty.

The girl from Rentokil had said that it would be unusual for mice to be in the house in June. As Elizabeth eyed the living room suspiciously, she wondered what on earth could be making all those noises.

Luke’s giggling snapped her out of her trance and, glancing down the hall, she spotted him sitting at the table, swinging his legs happily and making faces into thin air. There was an extra place set and a freshly poured bowl of Coco Pops across from him.

“Boy is she strict,” I whispered to Luke at the table, trying to grab spoonfuls of Coco Pops without her noticing. I wouldn’t usually whisper around parents, but as she had heard me a couple of times already over the past few days, I wasn’t about to take any risks.

Luke giggled and nodded.

“Is she like this all the time?”

He nodded again and munched on his Coco Pops.

“Does she never play games and give you hugs?” I asked, watching as Elizabeth cleaned every inch of the already sparkling kitchen countertops, moving things a half an inch to the right and a half an inch to the left.