Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

“Ciara, it's important that Timothy know when he has done something wrong,” explained Richard.

“Yeah, but couldn't you just tell him?”

The rest of the family tried hard not to laugh.

“He needs to know that his actions will lead to serious consequences so he will not repeat them.”

“Ah well,” she said, raising her voice a few octaves, “he's missing all this yummy food.

Mmm-mmm-mmm,” she added, licking her lips.

“Stop it, Ciara,” Elizabeth snapped.

“Or you'll have to stand in the corner,” Jack added sternly.

The table erupted with laughter, bar Meredith and Richard of course.

“So Ciara, tell us about your adventures in Australia,” Frank moved swiftly on.

Ciara's eyes lit up. “Oh, I had the most amazing time, Dad, I would definitely recommend going there to anyone.”

“Awful long flight, though,” Richard said.

“Yeah it is, but it's so worth it.”

“Did you get any more tattoos?” Holly asked.

“Yeah, look.” With that, Ciara stood up at the table and pulled down her trousers, revealing a butterfly on her behind.

Mum, Dad, Richard and Meredith protested in outrage while the others sat in convulsions of laughter. This carried on for a long time. Finally, when Ciara had apologized and Meredith had removed her hands from Emily's eyes, the table settled down.

“They are revolting things,” Richard said in disgust.

“I think butterflies are pretty, Daddy,” said Emily with big innocent eyes.

“Yes, some butterflies are pretty, Emily, but I'm talking about tattoos. They can give you all sorts of diseases and problems.” Emily's smile faded.

“Hey, I didn't exactly get this done in a dodgy place sharing needles with drug dealers, you know. The place was perfectly clean.”

“Well, that's an oxymoron if ever I heard one,” Meredith said with disgust.

“Been in one recently, Meredith?” Ciara asked a bit too forcefully.

“Well, em . . . n-n-n-no,” she stuttered, “I have never been in one, thank you very much, but I am sure they are.” Then she turned to Emily. “They are dirty, horrible places, Emily, where only dangerous people go.”

“Is Aunt Ciara dangerous, Mummy?”

“Only to five-year-old little girls with red hair,” Ciara said, stuffing her face.

Emily froze.

“Richard dear, do you think that Timmy might want to come in now for some food?” Elizabeth asked politely.

“It's Timothy,” Meredith interrupted.

“Yes, Mother, I think that would be OK.”

A very sorry little Timothy walked slowly into the room with his head down and took his place silently beside Declan. Holly's heart leapt out to him. How cruel to treat a child like that, how cruel to stop him from being a child . . . her sympathetic thoughts diminished immediately as she felt his little foot kick her shin underneath the table. They should have left him out there.

“So Ciara, come on, give us the gossip, do anything wild and wonderful out there?” Holly pushed for more information.

“Oh yeah, I did a bungee jump actually, well, I did a few. I have the photo here.” She reached into her back pocket and everyone looked away just in case she was planning to reveal any more bits of her anatomy. Thankfully she only took out her wallet; she passed the photo around the table and continued explaining.

“The first one I did was off a bridge and my head hit the water when I fell . . .”

“Oh Ciara, that sounds dangerous,” her mother said with her hands across her face.

“Oh no, it wasn't dangerous at all,” she reassured her.

The photograph was passed to Holly and she and Jack burst out laughing. Ciara dangled upside down from a rope with her face contorted in the middle of a scream from pure terror. Her hair (it was blue at that time) was shooting out in all directions as though she had been electrocuted.

“Attractive photo, Ciara. Mum, you must get that framed for over the fireplace,” Holly joked.

“Yeah!” Ciara's eyes lit up as the thought hit her. “That would be a cool idea.”

“Sure darling, I'll just take down the one of you making your Holy Communion and replace it with that,” Elizabeth said sarcastically.

“Well, I don't know which one would be scarier,” said Declan.

“Holly, what are you doing for your birthday?” asked Abbey, leaning across toward her. She was clearly dying to get out of the conversation she was having with Richard.

“Oh, that's right!” shouted Ciara. “You're gonna be thirty in a few weeks!”

“I'm not doing anything big at all,” she warned everyone. “I don't want any surprise party or anything, please .”

“Oh, you have to. . . ,” said Ciara.

“No, she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to,” her father interrupted, and he winked supportively at Holly.

“Thank you, Dad. I'm just going to have a girly night out clubbing or something. Nothing mad, nothing wild.”

Richard tutted as the photograph reached him and passed it on to his father, who chuckled to himself over the sight of Ciara.

“Yes, I agree with you, Holly,” said Richard, “those birthday celebrations are always a bit embarrassing. Grown adults acting like children, doing 'Rock the boat' on the floor and drinking far too much. You're quite right.”

“Well, I actually quite enjoy those parties, Richard,” Holly shot back, “but I just don't feel in the celebratory mood this year, that's all.”

There was silence for a moment before Ciara piped up, “A girly night it is then.”

“Can I tag along with the camera?” asked Declan.

“For what?”

“Just for some footage of clubs and stuff for college.”

“Well, if it'll help . . . but as long as you know I won't be going to all the trendy places that you like.”

“No, I don't mind where you g . . . OW!” he shouted and stared menacingly at Timothy.

Timmy stuck his tongue out at him and the conversation continued on. After the main course had finished, Ciara disappeared out of the room and arrived with a bulging bag in her hand and announced, “Presents!!”

Timmy and Emily cheered. Holly hoped that Ciara had remembered to get them something.

Her father received a colorfully painted boomerang that he pretended to throw down at his wife, Richard was given a T-shirt with the map of Australia on it, which he immediately began to teach to Timmy and Emily at the table, Meredith quite comically wasn't given anything, Jack and Declan were given T-shirts with perverted pictures and a caption saying “I've been to the bush,” Holly's mum received a collection of old Aboriginal recipes and Holly was touched by the dream catcher made from brightly colored feathers and sticks. “So all your dreams come true,”

Ciara had whispered in her ear before kissing her on the cheek.

Thankfully Ciara had bought sweets for Timmy and Emily, but they looked strangely like the sweets you could buy from the local shop. These were briskly taken away by Richard and Meredith, who claimed they would rot their teeth.

“Well, give them back then so I can rot my own,” Ciara demanded.

Timmy and Emily looked around sadly at everyone's presents and were immediately chastised by Richard for not concentrating on the map of Australia. Timmy made a face at Holly and a warm feeling returned to her heart. As long as the kids kept on acting like they deserved their harsh treatment, it made it easier for Holly to deal with. In fact, she may even have bordered on enjoying watching them being given out to.

“Right, we better hit the road, Richard, or the children will fall asleep at the table,” announced Meredith. The children, though, were wide awake and kicking Holly and Declan repeatedly under the table.