Cecelia Ahern - The Gift & Thanks for the Memories

There was a moment’s silence and Lou’s heart almost ripped through his skin from its hectic beating.

‘Is there more food coming later?’ Marcia asked.

‘Apart from the cake? No,’ she shook her head, ‘this is it for the evening. Trays of hors d’oeuvre.’ She smiled again as though not picking up on the hostility that was currently doing the rounds.

‘Oh,’ Lou’s father said, trying to sound upbeat. ‘You can leave the tray here so.’

‘The whole tray?’ She looked uncertainly around and then behind her to the manager for back-up.

‘Yes, we’ve a hungry family here,’ Fred said, taking it from her hands and placing it on the tall table so that

everybody had to stand up from their chairs in order to reach.

‘Oh, okay.’ She watched it being placed down and slowly backed away, trayless.

‘You mentioned a cake?’ Marcia asked, her voice high-pitched and screechy, possessed and distressed by the lack of control, by everything going wrong.

‘Yes.’

‘Let me see it please,’ she said, casting a look of terror at Lou. ‘What colour is it? What’s on it? Does it have raisins? Daddy hates raisins,’ they could hear her saying as she wandered off to the kitchen with the waitress, her cardboard box of damage-limitation items in her hand.

‘So, who invited you, Gabe?’ Lou felt tetchy, not wanting to discuss the promotion for fear he’d throw Gabe across the other side of the room.

‘Ruth did,’ Gabe said, reaching for a mini shepherd’s pie.

‘Oh, she did, did she? I don’t think so,’ Lou laughed.

‘Why wouldn’t you think so?’ Gabe shrugged. ‘She invited me the night I had dinner and stayed over at your house.’

‘Why do you say it like that? Don’t say it like that,’ Lou said childishly, squaring up to him. ‘You weren’t invited to dinner in my house. You dropped me home and ate leftovers.’

Gabe looked at him curiously. ‘Okay.’

‘Where is Ruth anyway? I haven’t seen her all night.’

‘Oh, we’ve been talking all evening on the balcony. I really like her,’ Gabe responded, mashed potato dribbling down his chin and landing on his borrowed tie. Lou’s tie.

At that, Lou’s jaw clenched. ‘You really like her? You really like my wife ? Well, that’s funny, Gabe, because I really like my wife too. You and I have so fucking much in common, don’t we?’

‘Lou,’ Gabe smiled nervously, ‘you might want to keep your voice down just a little.’

Lou looked around and smiled at the attention they’d attracted and playfully wrapped his arm around Gabe’s shoulder to show all was good. When eyes looked away, he turned to face Gabe and dropped the smile.

‘You really want my life, don’t you, Gabe?’

Gabe seemed taken aback, but hadn’t the opportunity to respond as the elevator doors opened and out fell Alfred, Alison and a crowd from the office party, who – despite the noise of Lou’s father’s favourite songs blaring out through the speakers – managed to announce themselves to the room, loud and clear, while dressed in their Santa suits and their party hats, blowing their party blowers at anyone who so much as looked their way.

Lou darted from his family and ran up the steps to the elevator, blocking Alfred’s path. ‘What are you all doing here?’

‘We’re here to partaaay, my friend,’ Alfred announced, swaying and blowing a party horn in his face.

‘Alfred, you weren’t invited,’ Lou said loudly.

‘Alison invited me,’ Alfred laughed. ‘And I think you know better than anyone how hard it is to turn down an invitation from Alison,’ he smiled. ‘But I don’t mind being sloppy seconds,’ he laughed, wavering drunkenly on the spot. Suddenly his eyeline moved to above Lou’s shoulder and his face changed. ‘Ruth! How are you?’

Lou’s heart almost failed as he turned around and saw Ruth behind them.

‘Alfred.’ Ruth folded her arms and stared at her husband.

There was a tense silence.

‘Well, this is awkward,’ Alfred said uncertainly. ‘I think I’m going to go and join the party. I’ll leave you two to bludgeon each other in private.’

Alfred disappeared, leaving Lou alone with Ruth, and the hurt on her face was like a dagger through his heart. He’d gladly have anger anytime.

‘Ruth,’ he said, ‘I’ve been looking for you all evening.’

‘I see the party planner, Alison, joined us too,’ she said, her voice shaking as she tried to remain strong.

Lou looked over his shoulder and saw Alison, little dress and long legs, dancing in the middle of the floor seductively with Santa.

Ruth looked at him questioningly.

‘I didn’t,’ he said, the fight going out of him, not wanting to be that man any more. ‘Hand on heart, I didn’t. She tried tonight, and I didn’t.’

Ruth laughed bitterly. ‘Oh, I bet she did.’

‘I swear I didn’t.’

‘Anything? Ever?’ She studied his face intently, clearly hating herself; embarrassed, angry at having to ask.

He swallowed. He didn’t want to lose her, but he didn’t want to lie. ‘A kiss. Once, is all. Nothing else,’ he spoke faster now, panicking. ‘But I’m different now, Ruth, I’m –’

She didn’t listen to the rest of it, she turned away from him, trying to hide her face and her tears from him. She opened the door to the balcony and cold air rushed in at Lou. The balcony was empty, the smokers inside eating as many mini shepherd’s pies as it took to fill a hole.

‘Ruth –’ He tried to grab her arm and pull her back inside.

‘Lou, let go of me, I swear to God, I’m not in the mood to talk to you now,’ she said angrily.

He followed her out to the balcony and they moved away from the window so that they couldn’t be seen by anyone inside. Ruth leaned on the edge and looked out at the city. Lou moved close behind her, wrapped his arms tightly around her body and refused to let go, despite her body going rigid as soon as he touched her.

‘Help me fix this,’ he whispered, close to tears. ‘Please, Ruth, help me fix this.’

She sighed, but her anger was still raw. ‘Lou, what the hell were you thinking? How many times did we all tell you how important this night was?’

‘I know, I know,’ he stuttered, thinking fast. ‘I was trying to prove to you all that I could –’

‘Don’t you dare lie to me again.’ She stopped him short. ‘Don’t you dare lie when you’ve just asked for my help. You weren’t trying to prove anything . You were fed up with Marcia ringing you, fed up with her trying to get it right for your father, you were too busy –’

‘Please, I don’t need to hear this right now,’ he winced, as though every word brought on a migraine.

‘This is exactly what you need to hear. You were too busy at work to care about your father, or about Marcia’s plans. You got a stranger who knew nothing of your father’s seventy years on this earth to plan the whole thing for you. Her?’ She pointed inside at Alison, who was doing the limbo underneath the chocolate fondue stand, revealing the red lace underwear to all that were looking. ‘A little tramp that you probably screwed while dictating the party guest list,’ she spat.

Lou thought better of informing Ruth that Alison was actually a well-qualified business graduate and, apart from party planning, a competent employee. It didn’t seem appropriate to defend her honour; Alison’s behaviour at the office and then at his father’s party was doing little to defend her own honour.

‘That didn’t happen, I swear. I know I messed everything up. I’m sorry.’ He was so used to saying that word now.

‘And what was it all for? For a promotion? A pay rise that you don’t even need? More work hours in a day that just aren’t humanly possible to achieve? When will you stop? When will it all be enough for you? How high do you want to climb, Lou? You know what, last week you said that only a job can fire you, but a family can’t. But I think you’re about to realise that the latter is possible after all.’