Кевин Кван - China Rich Girlfriend

“Let me guess…Mrs. Bing’s idea?” Nick asked.

“Yes, she’s always worrying that she’ll fall ill on the plane on the way to visit her doctors. Let’s try going this way.”

They followed Carlton along another passage and down a wider set of steps. “Here’s the main cabin, or the Grand Lounge, as they call it.”

Rachel’s jaw dropped. She knew, on an intellectual level, that she was still on an airplane. But what she was seeing was something that couldn’t possibly exist on a plane. They were standing in a vast, semicircular room filled with sleek Balinese teak sofas, consoles that looked like antique silver chests, and silk-covered lamps in the shape of lotus blossoms. But the focal point of the space was a three-story rock wall carved with ancient-looking Buddhas. Growing out of the wall were live ferns and other exotic botanicals, while off to the side, a spiral glass-and-stone staircase wound its way to an upper floor.

“Mrs. Bing wanted the Grand Lounge to feel like an ancient Javanese temple,” Carlton explained.

“It’s just like Borobudur,” Nick said in a hushed whisper as he touched the moss-covered stone.

“You got it. I think she fell in love with some resort there many years ago and wanted it replicated on her plane. The wall is an actual temple façade from an archaeological dig. They had to smuggle it out of Indonesia, from what I’m told.”

“I guess you can do whatever you want with a 747 if you don’t need to fit four hundred seats,” Nick surmised.

“Yeah, and having five thousand square feet of space to play with also helps. These sofas, by the way, are upholstered in Russian reindeer leather. And up those stairs, there’s a karaoke lounge, a screening room, a gym, and ten bedroom suites.”

“Sweet Jesus! Nick, come over here right now!” Rachel said in a panicked voice from across the room.

Nick rushed over to her. “Are you okay?”

Rachel stood dead in her tracks at the edge of what appeared to be a lap pool, shaking her head in disbelief. “Look — it’s a koi pond.”

“God, you scared me. For a moment I thought something was wrong,” Nick said.

“You don’t think anything’s wrong? THERE’S A FRIGGING KOI POND IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS PLANE, NICK!”

Carlton came over, highly amused by his sister’s reaction. “These are some of Mrs. Bing’s prized koi. You see that fat white one over there with the big red spot right in the middle of its back? Some Japanese tosser who was a guest on the plane once offered the Bings $250,000 for that fish. It reminded him of the Japanese flag. I do wonder if these poor koi ever get jet-lagged.”

Just then, Colette entered the main cabin swathed in a hooded angora poncho, trailed by a large entourage that included her mother, grandmother, Roxanne, a few of the girls from earlier, and a retinue of maids. “I can’t believe those idiots let you on board! I wanted to give Nick and Rachel the tour myself,” Colette said with a little pout.

“We haven’t seen anything except this room,” Rachel said meekly.

“Okay, great! Knowing your love of bathrooms, I wanted to show you the hydromassage room myself.” Lowering her voice, she said to Rachel, “I wanted to warn you ahead of time. My parents bought and designed this plane while I was away at Regent’s. So I can’t be held responsible for the decor.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Colette. This plane is unfathomably gorgeous,” Rachel assured her.

Colette looked genuinely relieved. “Here, come meet my grandmother. Nainai , these are my friends from America, Rachel and Nick,” Colette announced to a plump septuagenarian with a standard-issue Chine se-grandma perm.

The old lady smiled tiredly at them, baring a couple of gold teeth. She looked as if she had been hastily yanked out of bed, shoved into a St. John knit jacket two sizes too small, and hustled aboard the plane.

Colette surveyed the cabin, looking rather displeased. She glanced at Roxanne and said, “Send for Fernando right now.”

The man arrived momentarily, and Colette gave him a lethal glare. “Where’s the tea? There should always be cups of steaming-hot Bird’s Tongue Longjing tea *2waiting for my mother and grandmother the minute they get on board! And little plates of hua mei *3to suck on during takeoff! Hasn’t anyone read the Aircraft Standards Manual?”

“I apologize, Miss Bing. We only landed a little over an hour ago and haven’t had time to turn around the plane properly.”

“What do you mean you just landed? Wasn’t Trenta here all weekend?”

“No, Miss Bing. Your father just returned from Los Angeles.”

“Really? I had no idea. Well, get us the tea and tell the captain we’re ready for takeoff.”

“Right away, Miss Bing,” the chief purser said, turning to leave.

“One more thing…”

“Yes, Miss Bing?”

“There is something in the air tonight, Fernando.”

“We’ll readjust the cabin climate right away.”

“No, that’s not it. Can you smell the air, Fernando? It’s nothing like Frédéric Malle’s Jurassic Flower. Who changed the cabin scent without my permission?”

“I’m not sure, Miss Bing.”

After Fernando left the room, Colette turned to Roxanne again. “When we get to Paris, I want new copies of the Aircraft Standards Manual printed and bound for every member of the flight crew. I want them to memorize every page, and then we’re going to give them a pop quiz during the return flight.”

*1 The passenger list included Rachel, Nick, Carlton, Colette Bing, Mrs. Bing, Grandma Bing, Auntie Pan Di, Stephanie Shi, Mrs. Shi, Adele Deng, Wen Pi Fang, Mrs. Wen, Perrineum Wang, Tiffany Yap, Roxanne Ma, and six maids (every one of Colette’s girlfriends brought along a personal maid).

*2 The mountains of Hangzhou are famed for Longjing tea, also known as Dragon Well tea. It is said that 600,000 fresh tea leaves are required to produce one kilogram of this precious tea that is prized above all else by Chinese tea connoisseurs.

*3 Salted dried plums, fervently sucked on by generations of Chinese like martini olives. Supposedly great for combating nausea but has the reverse effect on me.

1528 CLUNY PARK ROAD

SINGAPORE

Carmen Loh had just stretched into sarvangasana pose in the middle of her living room when she heard her answering machine kick in.

“Carmen, ah. Mummy here. Geik Choo just called to tell me that Uncle C.K. has been checked in to Dover Park Hospice. They say if he makes it through the night, he can probably last through the week. I’m going to pay a visit today. I think you should come with me. Can you come and pick me up at Lillian May Tan’s around six? We should be finished with mah-jongg by then, unless Mrs. Lee Yong Chien shows up. In that case the game will take longer. Visiting hours at Dover Park end at eight, so I want to make sure we have ample time. Also, I ran into Keng Lien today at NTUC, and she said she heard from Paula that you are selling your Churchill Club membership to fund some new scuba-diving venture. I said ‘What rubbish, there is no way my daughter would ever do a thing like…’ ”

Grunting in frustration, Carmen eased her body down from its shoulder stand. Why the hell didn’t she remember to turn off the machine? Thirty minutes of pure bliss ruined by one call from her mother. She walked slowly to the phone and picked it up. “Ma, why on earth is Uncle C.K. in a hospice and not at home? Won’t they get him twenty-four-hour home-hospice care even in his final days? I can’t believe the family is as giam siap *1as that.”

“ Aiyah , it’s not that. Uncle C.K. wants to die at home, but the children won’t let him. They think it will affect the value of the house, lor .”