Даниэла Стил - Turning Point

“How did this happen? He was fine this morning. And now he’s…” Andy choked on the words.

“That’s how this happens, especially in kids his age.”

“Can they do something?”

“Not much,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

The doctor came and went for the next hour, and they brought in an infectious disease specialist, who spoke to both of them. He basically told them that although viral meningitis was less serious than bacterial, he still might die in the next few hours and they needed to prepare themselves. Andy broke down in sobs, and she held him. They didn’t leave Ryan for the next two hours. Stephanie wanted to be there if he died. She had seen patients die through her work, but this was her baby, her youngest child. It was unthinkable, but it was happening. And then his skin started coming up in boils.

“What is that?”

“It’s from the fever. He’s boiling inside,” she explained.

They stayed there all night. And at eight in the morning he was still alive, but barely. It had been the worst night of her life. She had thought of everything she had done wrong, everything she wished she had done differently, the times she wasn’t with them because she was working, the marriage that had gone so wrong, while Andy got bitter and she got bored and they lost each other somewhere in the process.

At ten o’clock, Ryan opened his eyes and smiled at them, and looked like an angel. She thought he was dying, but he sighed and went back to sleep and kept breathing. At noon he was still alive.

The fever was down to 102, but he was still fighting for his life. She texted Valérie and told her what had happened and where they were, so she could tell the others. Gabriel was texting her frantically, but she didn’t have the heart to answer him. What if this was her punishment for having the affair with him? It all seemed so stupid and irrelevant now. She thought she loved Gabriel, and she was going to divorce Andy and move to France. But what difference did any of it make if Ryan died? It put everything into perspective.

One of the nurses suggested that they go to the waiting room and lie down for a while. There was no one else there, and they’d been on their feet all night. They hated to leave him even for a minute, but the nurse said she would get them right away if anything happened. They sat down in chairs next to each other and looked like they’d been shipwrecked. He had survived for eighteen hours, which wasn’t enough.

Andy was staring at her as they sat there. “I just want to tell you that whatever happens, I love you, Steph. I know everything has gone to shit with us, and it’s my fault. I got lost somewhere along the way, and jealous of you. You’re a star, Steph. You have a right to everything you’ve earned. And whatever happens with us, I’m going to get a job. We can hire someone to take care of the kids.” His eyes filled with tears as he said it and so did hers. Their marriage was over anyway. “I’ve been a shit husband, trying to hold you back. You have a right to all of it. I don’t know what went wrong for us. I don’t know what happened in Paris, and I don’t want to know. If you want a divorce, you can have it, and I’ll move out. But I don’t want to lose you, I love you and our boys. If you give it another chance after this, I’ll be better, I swear. You’re an amazing woman.” She was sobbing when she went to hug him, and they held each other for a long time, trying to face the reality that their child was dying. Stephanie just prayed that Aden didn’t get it too. They couldn’t lose them both. Or even one of them. She couldn’t bear it. But Aden was fine when she called Mrs. Sanchez to check on him.

“I haven’t been a great wife either,” she said, as they sat holding hands. “It’s hard to do both. I want to be the best doctor, but then I’m a lousy mom.”

“You’re not a lousy mom. And one day they’ll respect you for what you do. Other kids have working parents, and they do fine.” She nodded. That was what she had hoped but it was harder than she’d thought it would be. Someone was always getting short shrift, their marriage if not their kids. “I think I just gave up somewhere along the way. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself and being pissed at you. Do you want out, Steph?” It was a big question at the wrong time, but as she looked at him, she knew she didn’t. If Ryan died, they would need each other. They would either way.

“No, I don’t,” she said in a voice raw with emotion, and knew she meant it.

“Let’s try to make it work. I don’t know if we can, but let’s try. Not for them, for us. And they need us both.”

They sat with his arm around her for a long time, and when Stephanie looked up, she saw Valérie and Tom in the doorway. They had come to check on them and sat down quietly next to them.

“How is he?” Tom asked Stephanie.

“Not good, but he’s still alive.” Tom nodded. They had brought some soup and sandwiches, and they only stayed a short time. They didn’t want to intrude, and they said the others sent their love. They’d canceled their meetings for the day, and they’d all had lunch together. Valérie had postponed her mysterious lunch. And Gabriel was beside himself and said that Stephanie wouldn’t answer his texts. But if her child was dying, she wouldn’t. She and Andy needed this time alone with him, whatever they did after that. Valérie wasn’t sure what was happening after she saw them, and she and Tom talked about it. He had the feeling that they were making peace, but it was hard to tell during the crisis.

They went back and sat with Ryan after Tom and Valérie left. He woke up a few times, and the fever was slowly coming down. They had him down to a hundred by that night, and in the morning his temperature was normal. They had had Aden seen by his pediatrician by then, and he was fine. And Ryan had survived for thirty-six hours, which seemed like a miracle given how sick he was. It was Tuesday. Andy looked at her as a nurse brought them coffee in the waiting room.

“Did you mean what you said, or was that just terror talking?” Andy asked her. He didn’t want to hold her hostage, and he knew she was in love with someone else. He’d known it since she came back from France. “About our marriage, I mean.”

“I want to try. That’s all we can do. Let’s give it a shot.” She smiled at him. “I’m still me and you’re still you, the good and the bad parts. We used to love each other, and we still do. Maybe we can figure out how to make it work again.” He nodded. It was what they had to work with. It wasn’t perfect, but it was worth another try before they gave up.

Andy went home that night and got Aden from the Sanchezes. He was fine. He wasn’t sick, and probably wouldn’t get sick now. She had promised to call Andy if anything happened and Ryan got worse again. He wasn’t completely out of the woods yet, even with viral meningitis. With bacterial, he would have been dead by then. She slept in a chair in his room that night, and she stroked his hair and kissed him, and thanked God that he didn’t die, and hopefully wouldn’t now.

Andy relieved her in the morning, and she went home to shower and change, and then she called Gabriel. He sounded frantic when he picked up. They were continuing their meetings and had had the earthquake drill the day before.

“My God, I’ve been worried sick about you. How is he?”

“He’s still very sick, but I think he’s going to be okay. He has viral meningitis. Thank God it wasn’t bacterial, but he’s been very sick.”

“I know, Valérie told us. She said you’d get in touch with me when you could. Thank you for calling me, my darling.” He sounded near tears.

“I want to see you,” she said quietly.