Tony Scott - Along Came COVID - Love and Loss in the 2020 Pandemic

“Well, this is the advice of one of the psychiatry hospitalists.”

“Undoubtedly with input from JD, right?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“So, ask JD. Tell him you don’t have a clear idea of the value of a hospitalization and see what he says.”

“How do I do that? You can’t just call on the phone.”

“Email?”

“OK. I hadn’t thought about that. See, I don’t have the concentration, I don’t have the acuity. My distractions are strong. I am weak right now.”

“It is an amazing accomplishment that you are recognizing it. This is going to take time, not like an antibiotic for a bladder infection where you’re back to normal in three days. It’s going to be more like cancer of the pancreas or lymphoma.”

“You’re back to that, now?”

“I hope we never left it. I hope we are looking at this as a complex disease that is going need several approaches and numerous interventions. It’s going to have aggravating aspects and disappointing setbacks which you will manage for a lifetime. Like cancer and lymphoma.”

“God, did we just make a full circle?”

“Oh, heavens no. A major intervention is coming your way, like a marrow transplant for lymphoma or a Whipple operation for cancer of the pancreas.”

Brian’s face showed apprehension. “That sounds scary.”

Peggy fought back, “It’s called hope. You have hope for a future. It’s being offered to you for free. I don’t see that there is a downside.”

“I have to think about it.”

“Don’t think, just do it. I can pick you up and take you there.”

“Do you think it’s that good?”

“Oh, yes! Do you want me to take you now?”

“No, I need to go home and get some things. I can come back. It will only take me an hour or two. I’ll call if I need a ride.”

“Good, good,” Peggy stood, mostly out of excitement and encouragement.

Brian’s departure was abrupt, but typical.

Peggy was on call, and became busy with patients for several hours. She didn’t hear from Brian, but wasn’t concerned. Later in the evening, she called Brian’s cell phone which went straight to voicemail. Admission to a psychiatric hospital might mean giving up your cell phone. She took up reading a Danelle Steel novel on the bed in her call room, interrupted by only one phone call from Ann. When the book fell to the floor, she turned the nightstand light off.

“Peggy, I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Emily?” Peggy, jolted from deep sleep, had to orient herself. She was in the call room. At work.

“Peggy, this is Emily,” her voice cracked.

Peggy propped herself on one elbow and turned on the bedside table lamp. She didn’t usually do that for a nighttime phone call, but it was Emily.

“Peggy, they found Brian Yankton dead in his apartment late last night.”

“What? Brian Yankton is dead?”

“Yes. It looks like a suicide. The police are investigating.” Emily was whispering.

“OK. Are you all right?”

“No. This is awful.”

Peggy waited for more from her, but she didn’t say anything. “How did we find this out?”

Emily was silent for a moment. “He didn’t show up for his admission,” a yodel in her voice. “I don’t know the details, but Albuquerque Police Department did a wellness check and found him.”

“Oh, man, this is awful. Who knows about this so far?”

“You and JD Thompson. He’s the one who called me.”

“Do you need help informing everybody? It’s Ann, Haley, and Ricky on call here tonight.”

“Morning rounds is soon enough for them,” Emily thought out loud. “I just wanted to talk to somebody, and I knew you were in the hospital.”

“Somebody should call Josh.”

“Gosh, Peggy, I didn’t think of him. I thought of Faith, but we can’t tell her now.”

“I’ll handle Josh.”

“I wish I had done more about this.”

“You took care of him the best you could, Emily. There were a lot of people involved with him.”

She sniffled. “I just — ”

“Don’t go there,” Peggy warned. “It won’t help. Is anyone contacting his family?”

“I assume so. I don’t know very much about him.”

“I don’t either.”

“I’m embarrassed that I don’t know more about him, but he was such a loner, and so distant all the time.”

“You told me recalcitrant.”

“The understatement,” she said.

“Yes.”

“See you in the morning,” she whispered. “Thanks for talking.” The call ended.

Peggy looked at the display on her phone, selecting Josh from her contacts. Josh answered too promptly to have been asleep. “Peggy.” Confusion was audible. “What’s up?”

“Where are you, Josh?”

“Sitting here with Faith.”

“I have bad news. Are you ready?”

“Um. OK.”

“Brian was found dead in his apartment. He never appeared for an admission to the hospital, so APD went to check him out, and they found him. Their impression is suicide.”

There was a long silence. “OK, Peggy,” Josh whispered. “That’s bad news. Thank you for calling.”

“Is there anything you need or anyone I should call?”

“No. I can manage.” There was a long pause. “What happened?”

“I don’t know more than I told you. He did come talk to me yesterday afternoon after he had been to Pain Management where they recommended the admission. I thought he was as upbeat as I have seen him, mostly, and he didn’t say anything about suicide. In fact, he denied feeling that way. When he left me, he was planning to go home to get a few things and come back for his admission.”

“I have to admit,” Josh’s voice cracked, “that we haven’t been in touch with him for a long time. Faith and I have wondered if there was more than anger and — we aren’t exactly at the top of his love list. We didn’t think there was anything we could do. In fact, he has treated Faith so poorly that we avoided having any more contact than work forced upon us.”

“Did you know about his opiates and the intervention by Dean Thompson?”

“No, just some hints from Haley,” Josh said. “I just thought he was a jackass, which is what the rest of us think. Ann is the most vocal. Faith has never said anything about opiates.”

“I didn’t want you to hear it in the hallways. We can talk about it later. Please help me know how to break it to Faith.”

“Well, obviously, not now,” Josh said. “When she wakes up.” He whispered again. “If she wakes up.”

“She will,” Peggy said. The short words caught in her throat. “I’ll be by later today, Josh.”

A few hours later, Peggy approached, all dressed up. “Boy, you’re early,” Josh said.

“I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to talk to you before you went home.”

“How did you know about that?” Josh asked.

“Haley. It makes sense that you would be here in the night to help with Faith. Haley says you have even helped with other COVID patients we have in this little unit.”

“Since I already have it, those patients aren’t a hazard to me that I know of,” he said. “The staff is both short on numbers and enthusiasm on night shift.”

“Of course. They probably are on day shift as well.”

Josh sat back down in the chair against Faith’s bed. Peggy scavenged a stool and sat at the foot of her bed. “Tell me more about what you know about Brian,” Josh said.

“Well, he’s been coming to talk to me for quite a long time. At first, he wasn’t pleased I was here since I am not certified in maternal-fetal medicine. At about the same time, Emily had begun applying pressure because he had failed his basic obstetrics and gynecology written boards for the second time, and she wanted him to take up some research or get involved in the medical school. What he told me is that he lacked energy. Then the subject of opiates came up because I noticed pinpoint pupils. Later, Dean Thompson began applying pressure also. Yesterday, they recommended a hospitalization for which he didn’t show.”