Tony Scott - Along Came COVID - Love and Loss in the 2020 Pandemic

“OK. Can we come visit her?”

“No. We don’t want you to get infected. And that is super true of your mom.”

“Oh yeah. Fat and diabetic. I remember.”

“I’ll keep you up to date, Nat.”

“OK. Bye Josh.” He heard her start to cry as she ended the call.

She startled him when she awoke and spoke. “Hi.”

“There you are. Did you sleep well?”

“No. I had stupid scary dreams,” Faith’s scratchy voice said. “Then I realized where I was, and then the dreams came back.”

Josh handed her a Styrofoam cup with ice water which she took through a straw. “This is really scary, Josh. How does this end? My muscles all hurt, if I take a deep breath I cough my head off, and the chills are the pits.”

“I understand. You have to get it together and get well.”

“How do I do that? So far, it isn’t working.”

A nurse arrived with some medicines in a little plastic cup. Faith pitched them in her mouth and washed them down with more water from the cup Josh held. “There’s Tylenol in that, so in an hour I’m going to be sweaty and burning up.”

“They said that so far, that’s keeping your temperature down,” Josh said, “which is important for Cori.”

Josh’s heart warmed when he saw the mischievous look on her face. “Who? I don’t think I know her.”

“Some little blue-eyed, red-headed girl who needs her mommy to get well.”

Faith laughed and grimaced. “Josh, don’t make me laugh.” Without a break, she said, “Hello, Peggy. Why are you here?”

“I had a thought. Do you think you could tolerate a CPAP mask?”

“I don’t know. What’s that?”

“It’s a mask you strap to your face. Normally it’s used for obstructive sleep apnea, like in fat, old women like me.” She chuckled. “I sleep with one every night.”

“Do you think it will help me?”

“I don’t know. But we could try it. It might make it easier for you to breathe. It keeps some air pressure on you all the time.”

She nodded. “I’ll try it. Will you help me and stay with me until we know?”

“Yes. It will only take a few minutes to know if this is a dumb idea.”

“OK. Let’s do it!”

She plugged the machine into the wall outlet, entered settings, and handed the mask to Faith.

Peggy placed the mask on her face verifying the size. “Do you think the mask will freak you out?”

Faith laughed out loud, followed by a fit of coughing. “More than coronavirus?” Cough. “I don’t think so.” Cough.

They had to wait for her to stop coughing to continue. Peggy hooked the hose to the machine and the mask, then helped her put it on, adjusting the straps until there was a good seal, making it comfortable on her face, and connecting the oxygen. They both watched the pulse ox reading hold steady.

“That does feel better,” Faith said. “It’s so good I might be able to sleep.”

“Sleep would be good. You need rest so you can fight this off.”

“How do you manage a pillow?”

Peggy chuckled. “You fluff it, adjust it, and turn it until it’s comfortable. It’s hard at first, but once you know how you like it, it gets easier.”

“Any way it sits on my face is OK?”

“Yes,” Peggy said. “If there’s a good seal, it’s working.”

“I think I like this.” Faith closed her eyes.

Peggy turned to go. “Sleep well.”

Josh said, “Thanks Peggy.”

“Peggy, I’m really scared,” Faith’s hollow voice came through the mask.

“We’ll take good care of you, Faith,” Peggy said. “I promise.”

“Peggy! That’s what I told Reyenne!”

Josh said, “Don’t think like that Faith. You’re doing so much better than Reyenne did.”

“I’m still scared.”

“We’ll be right here,” Josh wheezed.

“Can you call my parents?”

“I did. Well, I talked to Natalie.”

“That’s good.”

“Think about the bench near the little stone house on Sandia Peak. Feel the wind on your face, listen to the Douglass Firs whisper, and watch the birds flit around. Check out the marmot and the chipmunks.”

“That was really nice, Josh. That was an amazing day.” Faith drifted off. Josh kissed her cheek and left.

“You look better, Brian. Great.”

“Oh, man, what a trip. I have never done anything that ugly.”

“So how does it feel now?”

“In a way, I feel better. But lots of things hurt, especially my knee. I had a horrible headache yesterday.”

“Gosh, Brian, what a hurdle you have leapt over. Congratulations. Now you have proved the strength you have and the strength you can count on to go forward.” Peggy wasn’t entirely sure that a complete opiate withdrawal had occurred, but for the moment, she decided to go with the flow.

“But my past is the pits. I have put my career in jeopardy, I have wrecked my marriage beyond recovery, and I don’t have any personal elements of my life left.”

“Stolen by opiates.”

“I used to think stolen by my knee.”

“Stolen by opiates. Maybe the knee what got you to opiates, but opiates are the villain.”

“Interesting personalization of opiates.”

“They will be your villain for the rest of your life.”

“That’s what Pain Management says. They say that I will be recovering and never recovered.”

“It will be a life-long struggle. Like with everything else in life, you will have good times and bad times.”

Brian’s face looked mournful. Then he said, “Villain.”

“Maybe opponent?”

“I like villain. I can see a tall figure in a black hood and cape with glowing, yellow eyes.”

“That works,” Peggy said.

“When I look around, it seems like no one but me has a villain like I do.”

“Aren’t you going to group meetings?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a whole roomful of folks who have big villains, and I bet there are some that have villains larger than yours, or have several of them.”

“There are some vets that have physical limitations as well as opiates.”

“Some have alcohol, gambling, all the rest.”

“Pain Management gave me a couple of books to read. But they are very unpleasant. Somehow, reading about someone else’s struggle with this doesn’t help me. I know I need to look forward, but some of the stupid things some of those people look forward to disgust me.”

“You don’t have to look forward to the same things. Whatever works for them works for them. You must find what works for you.”

“OK.” Brian said. “It’s hard.”

“Hard shouldn’t bother you. You went to college, medical school, did an obstetric residency, completed a fellowship, and now you are starting as a faculty member. Those are all hard. You should be pretty used to hard.”

“Those don’t seem to measure up to the hard I feel now. Those other hard things came to an end and are behind me. I don’t remember any obstacle in my past being this tall.”

“There will be some physical as well as psychological tricks your villain plays. Villains don’t play fair.”

“I hadn’t thought about that.” Brian sat a few minutes. “I’m going to get going. Thanks for talking to me.”

“No problem. Keep plugging. Just keep chipping away until you get the job done. Don’t set a time limit. Just keep working.”

“Thanks.” The glass in the door rattled.

“Hey!” Ricky answered the phone.

“I’m scared to death.”

“Who isn’t?”

“Faith is the love of my life,” Josh said. “This girl claimed my heart the first time I saw her. I think she’s drop-dead gorgeous, she has a sharp mind, and she has such a loving heart.”