Tony Scott - Along Came COVID - Love and Loss in the 2020 Pandemic

“Forget it!” Defeated and miserable, he limped down the stairs, pushed through the atrium door, and vomited in a shrub. He had to sit in his car for several minutes to calm his nerves, let his pain subside, and push away the nausea. It was a bad dream. What had happened? This wasn’t Faith.

Josh, come here,” Faith called from the bathroom. “Look at this.” She was holding something in her hand.

“What’s up?” he asked, then choked up. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Yes. I’m pregnant.” She looked at him mournfully.

He looked at the test strip. “Wow. That’s wonderful!”

“What?” she gasped.

He didn’t repeat.

“Did you say wonderful?”

“I did.”

“How can you think that? This really isn’t a good time for me to have a baby! I’ll be a second-year resident. How’s that going to work?”

“When would be a good time for you to have a baby? Both Peggy and Marla say we’ll never get less busy or less encumbered. This is as good a time as any.” He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away.

“Are you being real?” She looked at the strip again. “This is the second test I’ve run. I did one yesterday.” She wiped her eye.

“But you have told me you eventually wanted to have children. I can’t think of anyone I would want to have children with more than you.”

“I can’t believe you are excited about this,” she said.

He decided to speak his mind. “I’m excited about this. I’ve always wanted to have children. I didn’t want to make that happen right here and right now, but now that it’s happened, I’m elated. I hope you can be, too.” He paused. “I know that all this has been super-fast for you, but I’ve had all summer, fall and winter to think about you. I spent that time admiring the person you are, your intense drive, and the soft, sweet passion inside you. I now feel so lucky to have you that there is almost no way you could disappoint me. So, you can’t blame me for thinking about the future a little.”

“Here I was thinking about an abortion, and if you would insist that I have one. Brian would’ve.”

“I wouldn’t stop you, but I don’t want you to.” Then sternly, “I’m not Brian.”

She got a naughty grin on her face, “How do you know the baby is yours?”

“I trust you. Besides, you’re a horrible liar.”

They stood side by side looking in the bathroom mirror. He enjoyed the smell of her shiny, silky black hair, the faint freckles on her nose, and her square, tall forehead.

“I have to think,” she said. “I’ve never been pregnant before nor even thought about it much. I’m still trying to make it real.”

“You are,” he slowly pronounced, “a primigravida.”

“Oh. My. Gosh. Did you really say that?”

“Yes. I just wanted to see you smile and it worked.”

“How do you know I’m not a multigravida?”

“You told me just now you’ve never been pregnant before, so you’re pregnant for the first time. Primigravida. I think you would have recognized the signs of pregnancy quicker if this wasn’t your first pregnancy. I know I will next time.”

“Next time?” she asked. “Are we talking about another baby already?”

“No, I’m just saying that I didn’t know the signs well enough before, and that if it happens again, I’ll pick up on them quicker.”

The change-of-subject face appeared in the mirror. “Are we going to have a baby?”

“I vote yes. But you have two votes. After all, you hold the temporary residence of the creature.”

“I wasn’t ready for this.” She was misty. “I do want to have a family, but not now. Help me.”

“I support you either way. I still don’t think there is a better time in our lives. We aren’t going to be less busy at any other time in our careers, according to those around us.”

She nuzzled into him. “You said ‘our’ lives. I haven’t thought of this as ‘our’ yet.”

“OK. I think I pushed you into our relationship, and I pushed you into moving in with me. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I pushed you into a pregnancy. I’m trying not to push you again, push you too much, make you afraid, or chase you away. But I want to push you like crazy. I’m just nuts over you, and I can’t get over it.”

She looked at his face again. “It’s scary.”

“Me being nuts over you is scary?”

“No.”

“Is having a baby scary?” he asked.

“You bet!”

“Is having an abortion scary?”

“Yes!”

“Which is scarier?”

“I don’t know.”

“Take your time and decide.”

“Well,” she said, “now I know where you are. The hardest part is not knowing or thinking wrong.”

He kissed her forehead.

“I don’t want an abortion,” she said, surprising him. “But I don’t know if I want a baby.”

“There is another option, but I don’t like it.”

“What?”

“Adopt away. That would be my least favorite.”

“I hadn’t considered that, and I don’t want that one either.”

“That’s progress.”

“What?”

“There are only three options,” he said. “Abortion, adoption, parenthood. If I heard you correctly, you ruled two of them out.”

“You tricked me!”

“No. You don’t have to stick with what you said tonight. It’s OK to sleep on it, process it, mull it over. And up to a point, you can change your mind any time. You are empowered.”

“I like empowered. You do that to me all the time. Brian never did it.” Even though the change-of-subject face appeared, she surprised him again. “It had to be the night I moved in.”

He tried to think. “That’s right. We’re only here together once every three nights, and we were busy at work and at home that first week or two you were here. I think you’re right. So, that gives us a due date.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, rising to retrieve a gestation wheel. “Using that conception date makes September 22.”

“Wow, September 22.”

“September 22.” She turned and hugged him tightly, wiggling a little, and finally squealing a little. “September 22.”

“Is this what your mom meant by ‘giggly wiggly?’”

“Josh!”

“Well, that’s what she said.”

“We’re going to have a baby!”

“You made that decision fast. Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said, sitting down beside him, legs under her. “I was trying to figure out how to talk you out of an abortion, which I was sure you would insist on. I was afraid this might break us up, to tell the truth. Then how would I deal with seeing you at work every day?”

“Because you would have insisted on not having an abortion?”

“Yes.” She was facing him now. “I’m sorry to have cast that upon you, but I did. Not only did you agree to have a baby, but you also agreed not to have one. The thing I love you most for is that you empower me, and now you’re doing it again. It’s something I’m not used to. You will have to put up with me until I quit thinking Brian’s way.”

“I’ll put up with you for a long time if you let me. Can Brian please not live here? I just want you to stop thinking Brian’s way.”

She said, “I’ll work on that. Really hard.”

“You’ll need some prenatal vitamins. I’ll take care of the Negra Modelo for you. I think I’ll have some now.” He rose and strutted to the kitchen, returning with a large glass mug of the smooth liquid. “Would you like some water, honey?”

She punched him in the arm, spilling a little beer on his shirt. “No thank you, dear.”

“Hi, Ann,” Faith said as Ann entered the exam room.