Tony Scott - Along Came COVID - Love and Loss in the 2020 Pandemic

“Sure,” she said.

“What do you think of Brian Yankton? It seems like you guys are at odds.”

“I don’t know. He is hard to deal with. We need to take care of patients, manage easy things on our own, and be proactive in teaching.”

“I don’t think he will ever be any of those,” Josh said, “do you think? It seems like he is completely mechanical. Either that or he is so intelligent that he can’t relate to us.”

“It’s sure not that,” she said. “He is academically weak. Several times he has given false answers to questions, and not all he says is logical. It would be better if he said he didn’t know, and then came the next day with a real answer.”

“That’s how you, Peggy, and Emily are. We all appreciate that. No one can know everything.”

“I agree.” She looked him straight in the eye. “There has to be an honest, pure relationship. There can’t be any smoke and mirrors. In our business, smoke and mirrors clouds judgement and derails success.”

Josh nodded.

She went on, “Don’t you think saying you don’t know takes some knowledge and self-confidence? It takes some command of yourself. It also takes self-confidence to say you were wrong. We all get things wrong sometimes.”

“So, you think he’s not self-confident?”

“Yes, mostly.” Ann was staring at a computer screen, briefly distracted. Josh looked at her face thinking she was someone he wanted to model, someone who would make an impact on his professional life, and who had made a life for herself, on her own, and that she owned it.

“Where are you from, Ann?” Josh asked.

“Detroit. I was raised by a single mom who worked two jobs so my sister and I could go to school. We were doing homework when our friends were running around in the streets playing softball and soccer. But she taught us honesty, self-confidence, the importance of admitting a mistake, and how crucial taking control of your own life is. How your life turns out has to do with what you make of it. The world is not responsible for your own mistakes or failures.”

“I think I was taught those things also. But in addition, my mother insisted that we shouldn’t try to control anyone else,” Josh said. “There might be times to offer an opinion or a suggestion, but no friendship or marriage can tolerate dominance.”

Ann stood. “I think I agree. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Standing to go, he saw Faith come out of the locker room and head for the elevators.

“Dinner somewhere?” Josh turned to catch Ann. “Do you want to go with us?”

“No,” she said with a smirk. “Thanks, though. A certain urologist is fixing dinner.”

“Kidney stew?” Josh couldn’t resist a urology reference.

Ann rolled her eyes, acknowledging she got the joke. “Prime rib. See you tomorrow.”

Faith let Ann distance, then turned to Josh, “I’m famished, I’m exhausted, and I’m on call Sunday.”

“Me too. I’m on call tomorrow.”

“Where?” she asked.

“Here, dork. Where else do we take call?” He started laughing.

“No, smarty. Where do you want to eat?”

“Subway?”

“Not!” she snipped, to his delight. “That’s just downstairs. I want to sit down, and they bring it to me.”

“How about Longhorn Steakhouse near my house?”

“Ooo! That would be good,” she mumbled. “I like a good steak.”

In the elevator he said, “I figured.” In a robot’s voice he said, “You are Texan. Texans like steak. You like steak.”

She snickered. “Correct.”

“Are you riding with me and I bring you back? Or are you driving yourself, and I go home from there?”

The elevator door opened, and they headed for the parking lot.

“Ride with you.”

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” he said. “I want beer.”

Josh led to his car, flicked the unlock button, and she entered the passenger side like she had done it a hundred times.

“Where’s your car?” he asked.

“Home. I walked over yesterday morning. It was nice out.” He saw the expression on her face announce a change of subject. “Can we stop by my place?”

“OK. Any special reason?”

“I need a couple things if I’m staying over.” The acceptance rumbled over him like a freight train. He had extended the invitation almost rhetorically, never thinking she would accept. He was still not catching the indirect way she had of saying “yes.”

She was quickly in and out of her duplex, but it was still late enough that evening I-40 evening rush traffic had calmed, depositing them at Louisiana Boulevard in short order. A few blocks north, he pulled into the parking lot at Longhorn Steakhouse.

“I’m starving,” she said. After a short wait, they got a table. “What do you get here?”

“Flo’s Filet, rare.” He didn’t even have to think.

She scanned the menu. The server came, and they ordered.

“A rare steak?” she questioned.

“It’s so good. Almost as good as Oklahoma Angus beef.”

“Oklahoma. Is that in the United States?” she asked.

“Yes. Texans need a passport to go there.”

She stuck her tongue out.

“What are you going to do after you finish your residency?” he asked.

“Maternal-fetal medicine,” she said. He thought she was kidding. “No, really. I like fetuses. And I like delving into the medical problems that some of our pregnant moms have.”

“That’s good. Where do you want to go for that?”

“Dallas, maybe,” she answered. “It’s a dream. I didn’t get into the Texas Southwest Ob-Gyn program, and it would be wonderful to fellowship there. Or maybe San Antonio.”

“San Antonio is an amazing place. It has several major maternal-fetal medicine training programs and so much to do. I love the Mercado and their zoo.”

She threw the question right back. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Cancer always fascinated me, and I liked my gynecologic oncology rotation as a medical student. But the rotation here was awful. I don’t want to manage abnormal pap smears all my life. Vulvar cancer is disgusting.”

“Ugh,” she said, “that’s no joke.”

“Maternal-fetal medicine is good. Maybe just practice general ob-gyn and do what is needed, like Peggy.”

“She’s a good role model,” she said, “but I don’t think our generation will let you do all of the things she did, like amniocentesis, advanced ultrasound, lupus, and diabetes. Kind of like your grandfather.”

“I could always do a fellowship after I’ve been out and am done with my boards. Maybe then I would have a clearer vision of what I wanted or what the community I live in needs.”

The food came. “I invited Ann,” he said, “but I should have included her husband. I don’t even know his name.”

She snickered, “Ask Haley. She’s right over there.” She looked to the table across from them.

His head pivoted like an owl’s. “Not,” he retorted.

“I don’t know his name. If she told me, I forgot.” She took a bite. “You said Haley wants Ricky to join her in her apartment. Why don’t they do it?”

“Ricky said they are taking it slow. They are both busy.”

“So are we.”

“But I don’t get the sense that he is totally smitten like I am.”

“Josh. Really?”

“Yes. I just love you. I couldn’t wait like they are. Maybe they are not as sure as I am.”

“What about me?” she asked. “How did you know I don’t want to go slow?”

“Do you?”

“No.”

“Whew. I thought you might say yes. I don’t want to go slow.”

She looked up to make eye contact and said, “Doesn’t Brian scare you?”

“A little,” he said. “There is something going on there that is beyond what we know. Or what I know, at least. It is hard to believe that it’s all just his nature.”