Питер Мейл: Baby Taming [non pics]

• Establish the rate in advance. Haggling over money at 1 a.m. is a dismal way to end an evening.

• Make it a firm rule that your sitter does not entertain visitors. It's a paid job, not an excuse for a party.

• Leave a list of all important phone numbers by the phone. If you find that the number where you can be reached that evening is not the one you left on your list, call home with the new number.

• Leave detailed written instructions if the baby will need to be fed or given medication while you're out.

• Don't expect sitters to do dishes or housework. That's not what you're paying them for.

• Give your sitter the spare pacifier or magic blanket in case of loss or emergency.

• Be punctual yourself. When you say you're going to be back by midnight, it isn't fair to roll in at 2 a.m. If you're going to be later than you thought, call home with the new time.

There is always the possibility that you won't need to worry about recruiting sitters. You may have a source of unlimited free sitting talent not too far away — the grandparents.

Opinions are sharply divided on the merits of grandparents as sitters. They're free, and usually delighted to help. They know you, the baby and the house. And you trust them.

On the other hand, there is often a problem that has been described as the "we know best" syndrome. Having reared you with such extraordinary success, your parents will tend to apply their ideas and techniques to the rearing of their grandchild. This may not suit you. If it doesn't, be prepared for some awkward moments.

You might like the sound of a compromise system, which has worked well for several couples we know. Weekdays, you hire sitters;

weekends, you drop the baby off with grandparents. Try it out. In fact, try it out this weekend. It's never too soon to start.