Джордж Сондерс - CommComm

But Jean had been distilled down to like pure honesty.

“I do wish I could have gone, though,” she said.

“Well, we practically did,” Dad said, looking panicked.

“No, but I wish we really did,” she said.

After Jean died, we kept her room intact, did a birthday thing for her every year, started constantly expecting the worst. I’d come home from a high-school party and Mom would be sitting there with her rosary, mumbling, praying for my safe return. Even a dropped shopping bag, a broken jar of Prego, would send them into a funk, like: Doom, doom, of course, isn’t this the way it always goes for us?

Eight years later came the night of the Latvians.

So a little decent luck for Mom and Dad doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

“About this job thing,” I say.

“I will absolutely make it happen,” he says.

The way we do it is we carry them one at a time out to his special van. He’s got a lift in there for Val. Not that we need the lift. These guys are super-light. Then we drive out to the forest behind Missions. We dig a hole, which is not easy, due to roots. I go in, he hands them down very gentle. They’re so stiff and dry it’s hard to believe they can still smell.

We backfill, kick some leaves around, drag over a small fallen tree.

“You O.K.?” he says. “You look a little freaked.”

I ask should we maybe say a prayer.

“Go ahead,” he says. “My feeling is, these guys have been gone so long they’re either with Him or not. If there even is a Him. Might be real, might not. To me? What’s real? Val. When I get home tonight, there she’ll be, waiting. Hasn’t eaten yet, needs her bath. Been by herself the whole day. That, to me? Is real.”

I say a prayer, lift my head when done.

“I thank you, Val thanks you,” he says.

In the van, I do a Bad Feelings Acknowledgment re the reburial. I visualize my Useless Guilt as a pack of black dogs. I open the gate, throw out the Acknowledgment Meat. Pursuing the Meat, the black dogs disappear over a cliff, turning into crows (i.e., Neutral/ Non-Guilty Energy), which then fly away, feeling Assuaged.

Back at CommComm, we wash off the shovels, Pine-Sol the copier closet, throw open the windows, check e-mail while the place airs out.

Next morning, the stink is gone. The office just smells massively like Pine-Sol. Giff comes in around eleven, big bandage on his humongous underchin.

“Hey, smells super in here today,” he says. “Praise the Lord for that, right? And all things.”

“What happened to your chin?” says Rimney. “Zonk it on a pew while speaking in tongues?”

“We don’t speak in tongues,” says Giff. “I was just shaving.”

“Interesting,” Rimney says. “Goodbye.”

“Not goodbye,” says Giff. “I have to do my Situational Follow-Up. What in your view is the reason for the discontinued nature of that crappo smell you all previously had?”

“A miracle,” says Rimney. “Christ came down with some Pine-Sol.”

“I don’t really go for that kind of talk,” says Giff.

“Why not pray I stop?” says Rimney. “See if it works.”

“Let me tell you a like parable,” Giff says. “This one girl in our church? Had this like perma-smile? Due to something? And her husband, who was non-church, was always having to explain that she wasn’t really super-happy, it was just her malady. It was like the happier she looked, the madder he got. Then he came to our church, guess what happened?”

“She was miraculously cured and he was miraculously suddenly not angry,” says Rimney. “God reached down and fixed them both, while all over the world people who didn’t come to your church remained in misery, weeping.”

“Well, no,” says Giff.

“And that’s not technically a parable,” says Verblin.

“See, but you’re what happens when man stays merely on his own plane,” says Giff. “Man is made bitter. Look, I’m not claiming I’m not human and don’t struggle. Heck, I’m as human as you. Only I struggle, when I struggle, with the help of Him that knows no struggle. Which is why sometimes I maybe seem so composed or, you might say, together. Everyone in our church has that same calm. It’s not just me. It’s just Him, is how we say it.”

“How calm would you stay if I broke your neck?” says Rimney.

“Ron, honestly,” Jonkins says.

“Quiet, Tim,” Rimney says to Jonkins. “If we listen closely, we may hear the call of the North American extremist loony.”

“Maybe you’re the extremist due to you think you somehow created your own self,” says Giff.

“Enough, this is a place of business,” says Rimney.

Then Milton Gelton comes in. Gelton’s a GS-5 in Manual Site Aesthetics Improvement. He roams the base picking up trash with a sharp stick. When he finds a dead animal, he calls Animals. When he finds a car battery, he calls Environmental.

“Want to see something freaky?” he says, holding out his bucket. “Found behind Missions?”

In the bucket is a yellow-black human hand.

“Is that a real actual hand of someone?” says Amber.

“At first I thought glove,” Gelton says. “But no. See? No hand-hole. Just solid.”

He pokes the hand with a pen to demonstrate the absence of a hand-hole.

“You know what else I’m noting as weird?” Giff says. “In terms of that former smell? I can all of a sudden smell it again.”

He sniffs his way down to the bucket.

“Yoinks, similar,” he says.

“I doubt this is a Safety issue,” says Rimney.

“I disagree,” says Giff. “This hand seems like it might be the key to our Possible Source of your Negative Odor. Milton, can you show me the exact locale where you found this at?”

Out they go. Rimney calls me in. How the hell did we drop that fucker? Jesus, what else did we drop? This is not funny, he says, do I realize we could go to jail for this? We knowingly altered a Probable Historical Site. At the very least, we’ll catch hell in the press. As for the Dirksen, this gets out, goodbye Dirksen.

I eat lunch in the Eating Area. Little Bill’s telling about his trip to Omaha. He stayed at a MinTel. The rooms are closet-size. They like slide you in. You’re allowed two slide-outs a night. After that it’s three dollars a slide-out.

Rimney comes out, says he’s got to run home. Val’s having leg cramps. When she has leg cramps, the only thing that works is hot washrags. He’s got a special pasta pot and two sets of washrags, one blue, one white. One set goes on her legs, while the other set heats.

With Rimney gone, discipline erodes. Out the window I see Verblin sort of mincing to his car. A yardstick slides out of his pants. When he stoops to get the yardstick, a print cartridge drops out of his coat. When he bends to pick up the cartridge, his hat falls off, revealing a box of staples.

At three, Ms. Durrell from Environmental calls. Do we have any more of those dioxin coloring books? Do I know what she means? It’s not a new spill, just reawakened concern over an old spill. I know what she means. She means “Donnie Dioxin: Badly Misunderstood But Actually Quite Useful Under Correct Usage Conditions.”

I’m in Storage looking for the books when my cell rings.

“Glad I caught you,” Rimney says stiffly. “Can you come out to Missions? I swung by on the way back and, boy, oh boy, did Elliot ever find something amazing.”

“Is he standing right there?” I say.

“O.K., see you soon,” he says, and hangs up.

I park by the Sputnik-era jet-on-a-pedestal. The fake pilot’s head is facing backward and a twig’s been driven up his nose. Across the fuselage some kid’s painted, “This thing looks like my pennis if my pennis has wings.”