Dave Eggers - You Shall Know Our Velocity

"Nice," he said, holding the map. "It looks much better.

I regained my vision and blinked slowly. Jesus.

"Freak," he said.

Here is the map:

You see how I made the knife shiny? I think it worked.

Hand turned the car around and we headed back into town. We had to find a boy or girl, alone, walking home, and then put the map, in a bottle, in their path. This seemed fine in theory but was instantly impossible to carry out. The streets were too crowded, and besides, if we chose one kid, he'd see us place the bottle in their path, ruining the mystery of its origin.

"We'll leave it in the bushes then," Hand said. "Some bushes on a well-traveled path."

"But what if a parent finds it?"

"Right. Forget it."

We decided to just give it to a kid. Just get out of the car and give it to him or her. No, a group of kids, so they felt safer – a kid alone would never take a map-holding bottle from a pair of strangers, right? But if the kids told their parents that a pair of Americans had given them this map, the parents, fearing some molestation trap, would definitely forbid their looking for it -

"We should just be straight-up about it." Hand sighed. "We'll just find a kid with his dad and give it to them together."

"No. No way. That isn't fun at all. What kid wants to look for treasure with his dad? No, no."

"Okay. I've got it. We find a bicycle in front of a house and stick it on the bike. Then we're sure it reaches the kid, he finds it himself -"

"Good. That's it." It was a good idea. And lent more romance to the project. Estonian bicycles! Maybe they were different. The spokes thinner – or curved.

We drove around the residential neighborhood, a mix of solid and ordinary suburban homes – not unlike those in our town, really – and shanties, sheds and empty lots. But after twenty minutes it was just about dark and we hadn't seen one bike. Hand scoffed.

"These kids don't ride bikes? What's wrong with them?"

"It's winter. It's too cold."

"I rode my bike in the winter."

"Course you did."

"I did. I had a fucking paper route!"

The ocean was now visible. Dunes just beyond the last row of houses. We turned the car.

We drove past the last houses and onto a narrow road that wound through tall grasses rising through ice and snow, great hairs from a white cold scalp. Over a small bridge and then almost to the beach and ah! – light! It was much brighter here. The sun was setting, or had recently set – it wasn't clear because the sky was only grey and pink and the cloudcover obscured the sun, if it was still at all with us. The ceiling was all mother-of-pearl, pink and blue and silver, tidepooling.

I jumped out and crunched through the snow. The wind shredded me. The beach was jagged ice-shards all the way to the water, scores of white dishes dropped and broken, the water frozen in its shallows. Off to the right and toward the shore was a swingset, two tires hanging and entwined. A simple silhouette alone against all the pinks and whites tangled in coarse yarn and smooth ribbons. It began to snow.

I ran back to the car and yelled as I did:

"This is it!

"This is it!

"Bring the bandanna!

"And the tape!"

Hand ducked into the car and came out and closed the door and, tripping over the white crooked ice, so like fragments of sheetrock, he came to me.

"The swingset?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

We would hide the map inside the tire on the swingset. It would be safe there, and would be discovered in the spring. We ran to it, our feet drawing groans from under sheets of ice. When we reached the swingset its supports were black thick-marker lines. Snow on the tires' tops and innards.

"We'll put it on the upper inside of this tire," I said. "It won't get snowed on there."

"How are you putting it together?"

"I'm gonna just put the money in the bandanna, and then tape it – God it's fucking cold! I can't feel my fingers already."

"Hurry!"

I put a roll of Moroccan money inside the blue bandanna and I folded the -

"Don't fold it," said Hand. "Roll it."

"You roll it. My hands are gone."

– map and he stuck it inside the bandanna.

"What's the money for?" he asked.

"So they know there's real money at stake. More where this came from, when they find the treasure -"

"Nice."

He closed the corners around the money and the scroll and I held it to the inside of the tire as Hand taped it there, looping the tape dispenser around and around. I couldn't feel my hands. I could feel my left thumb. My thumb was dimly attached. Otherwise, nothing.

"Is it stuck?" I asked.

"I think so."

"Let's go."

Back to the car and the thump-thump of the doors, and the heat on high. Snow covered the windshield in a thin gauzy skin. We hugged ourselves and shivered. Palms covered heaters. Fingers warming quickly, fingers that were brittle with cold now were melting, shrinking, becoming liquid. I thanked my fellow and previous humans for the miracle of heat and I started the car.

We drove in the dark to Latvia, past Häädemeeste, Jaagupi, Treimani, the snow coming at us like ghosts, an army of tiny ghosts with no leader. We debated the likelihood that someone would find the map. That someone would find it before spring. That someone would save the map, would actually obey its commands, would not throw it away.

"The money will prevent them from doing that," I said.

"Right. The teaser cash was good," Hand said. "But why did we put Moroccan money in the bandanna but Estonian money in the treasure?"

"Damn."

"We could go back."

"No, no. Let's go. We're almost at the border."

At the border town, Ainazi, a checkpoint. Part of me hoped for Soviets and Kalishnikovs. We stopped and Hand rolled down his window. A man in a full puffy snowsuit and a clipboard asked where we were coming from: Tallinn, we said; and where we were headed: Riga, we said. He asked to check the trunk; we complied. He had us get out – the air a cold that scrapes you everywhere, a credit card against an unshaven face – and then sent us to a window in a small building, where behind the window a woman, also in a snowsuit, asked us, in English, for our passports. We provided our passports and noticed she had a box of chocolates on her desk. The snowfall was thinning.

"I have a question," said Hand.

"Yes," she said, handing back his passport. It would be weird, I thought, to work at a desk, in a snowsuit. Hand:

"Are you going to offer us some of that chocolate or what?"

"These?" she said, pointing to her chocolates.

Hand rolled his eyes. "Yeah those. Are they all for you?"

She gave him a look, one of exasperation hiding great warmth, that said loudly that if he came back tomorrow they could be together and later married. She didn't seem to mind our filthy clothes and dirty faces. We'd vowed to get some new clothes, at least pants, in Riga. Our smell was now noticeable.

Smirking, she handed the box through the window. I took a round one. Hand grabbed three.

We said thank you and got back in the car.

"Latvians are great!" he said, pulling through the gate.

"Yeah," I said. "Latvians are the best!"

Twenty minutes later:

"These people are diseased!"

"They're fucking wrong."

"I don't understand," Hand said, "what the point is in acting that way."

"What the fuck did we do to that guy?" I said. We were back in the car, fuming, after stopping for gas and Pringles about twenty miles after the border. In the dark we'd pulled up to the gas station with a food mart and café attached, and the twelve people in the café inside had stared as if we were driving a hovercraft with bloody bodies strapped to the hood.