J. Ward - Lover Avenged

“I didn’t talk to you at the clinic about it any further because you left before I entered Havers’s notes into the computer. That’s when it all sank in.”

He still wasn’t buying that the call was completely professional. She could have e-mailed him. She could have told the doctor. Could have turfed it to one of the day nurses to follow up.

“So there’s no chance you feel bad for slamming me down as hard as you did?”

She cleared her throat. “I am sorry for that.”

“Well, I forgive you. Totally. Completely. You looked like you were not having a great night.”

Her exhale was exhaustion made manifest. “Yeah, it wasn’t my best.”

“Why?”

Another long pause. “You are much better over the phone, you know that?”

He laughed. “Much better how?”

“Easier to talk to. You’re actually…pretty easy to talk to.”

“I do okay with the one-on-one.”

Abruptly he frowned, thinking of the bookie he’d tuned up out in the office. Shit, that poor bastard was just one in a huge number of drug dealers and Vegas lackeys and bartenders and pimps he’d beaten into conversating over the years. His philosophy had always been that confession was good for the soul, especially when it came to scumbags who thought he wouldn’t notice they were fucking him. His management style also sent an important message in a business where weakness got you killed: Back-alley commerce required a strong hand, and he’d always believed that was just the reality in which he lived.

Now though, in this quiet time, with Ehlena so close, he felt like his “one-on-ones” were something to apologize for and conceal.

“So why was tonight not so good?” he asked, desperate to shut himself the fuck up.

“My father. And then…well, I got stood up.”

Rehv frowned so hard he actually felt a slight sting between his eyes. “For a date?”

“Yeah.”

He hated the idea of her out with another male. And yet envied the motherfucker, whoever he was. “What an ass. I’m sorry, but what an ass.”

Ehlena laughed, and he loved everything about the sound, especially the way his body warmed a little more in response. Man, to hell with a hot shower. That soft, quiet chuckle was what he needed.

“Are you smiling,” he said softly.

“Yeah. I mean, I guess. How did you know?”

“Was just hoping you were.”

“Well, you can be kind of charming.” Quickly, as if to cover up the compliment, she said, “The date wasn’t a big deal or anything. I didn’t know him that well. It was just coffee.”

“But you ended the night on the phone with me. Which is so much better.”

She laughed again. “Well, I won’t ever know what it’s like to go out with him.”

“You won’t?”

“I just…well, I thought about it, and I don’t think dating is a good idea for me right now.” His surge of triumph was sacked when she tacked on, “With anyone.”

“Hm.”

“Hm? What does hm mean?”

“It means I have your phone number.”

“Ah, yes, you do-” Her voice caught as he shifted around. “Wait, are you…in bed?”

“Yeah. And before you go any farther, you don’t want to know.”

“I don’t want to know what?”

“How much I’m not wearing.”

“Er…” As she hesitated, he knew she was smiling again. And probably blushing. “I so won’t ask.”

“Wise of you. It’s just me and the sheets-oops, did I just spill that?”

“Yes. Yes, you did.” Her voice got a little lower, as if she were imagining him naked. And not minding the mental pinup in the slightest.

“Ehlena…” He stopped himself, his symphath urges giving him the self-control to slow down. Yes, Rehv wanted her as naked as he was. But even more than that, he wanted her on the phone.

“What?” she said.

“Your father…has he been ill for long?”

“I, ah…yes, yes, he has. He’s schizophrenic. We’ve got him on meds now, though, and he’s better.”

“God…damn. That’s got to be really difficult. Because he’s there but he’s not there, right.”

“Yes…that’s exactly what it feels like.”

It was kind of the way he went through life, his symphath side a constant, other reality that dogged him as he tried to get through the nights as a normal.

“So do you mind if I ask,” she said with care, “what you need the dopamine for? There’s no immediate diagnosis in your medical record.”

“Probably because Havers has been treating me forever.”

Ehlena laughed awkwardly. “Guess that must be why.”

Shit, what the hell did he tell her.

The symphath in him said, Whatever, just lie to her. Trouble was, from out of nowhere there was another competing voice in his brain, one that was unfamiliar and faint, but utterly compelling. Because he had no idea what it was, however, he led with his routine.

“I have Parkinson’s. Or the vampire equivalent of it, as it were.”

“Oh…I’m sorry. That’s the cane you use, then.”

“My balance is bad.”

“The dopamine’s doing you well, though. You have almost no tremors.”

That quiet voice in his head morphed into an odd ache in the center of his chest, and for a moment he dropped pretense and actually spoke the truth. “I have no idea what I would do without that drug.”

“My father’s medications have been a miracle.”

“Are you his sole caretaker?” When she mm-hmed, he asked, “Where is the rest of your family?”

“It’s just him and me.”

“So you’re carrying a hell of a burden.”

“Well, I love him. And if the roles were reversed, he would do the same. It’s what parents and children do for each other.”

“Not always. Clearly you come from good people.” Before he could stop himself, he continued, “But that’s why you’re lonely, isn’t it. You get guilty if you leave him even for an hour, except if you stay home you can’t ignore the fact that your life is passing you by. You’re trapped and screaming, but you wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I have to go.”

Rehv squeezed his eyes shut, that ache in his chest spreading through his whole body like wildfire across dry grass. He willed a light on as the darkness became too symbolic of his own existence.

“It’s just…I know what it’s like, Ehlena. Not for the same reasons…but I get that whole separated thing. You know, the idea that you’re watching everybody else go through life… Oh, fuck, whatever. I hope you sleep well-”

“That is how I feel a lot of the time.” Her voice was gentle now, and he was glad she got what he’d been trying to say, even though he’d been as eloquent as an alley cat.

Now he was the one who grew awkward. He wasn’t used to talking like this…or feeling as he did. “Listen, I’m going to let you get some rest. I’m glad you called.”

“You know…so am I.”

“And, Ehlena?”

“Yes?”

“I think you’re right. It’s not a good idea for you to get involved with anyone right now.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Good day.”

There was a pause. “Good…day. Wait-”

“What?”

“Your arm. What are you going to do about your arm?”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. But thank you for the concern. It means a lot.”

Rehv hung up first and put the phone down on the mink duvet. Closing his eyes, he left the light on. And didn’t sleep at all.

Back at the Brotherhood compound, Wrath gave up the idea that he was going to feel better about the situation with Beth anytime soon. Hell, he could spend the next month stewing on his spindly chair, but that would only get him a numb ass.

And meanwhile, the rolling stones out in the hall were getting mossy and cranky.