J. Ward - Lover Enshrined

Qhuinn took a deep breath. And then another. And then- “I need… I need to sit down.”

Like a complete flippin’ lightweight, he stumbled over to one of the pale blue couches. With everyone staring at him like they were about to offer him either a paper bag to breathe into or some Kleenex, he put his hand to where he’d been operated on in hopes of making it seem like he was overcome by his injury, not his emotions.

Trouble was… he couldn’t seem to draw any air into his lungs. He wasn’t sure what the fuck was going into his mouth, but whatever the shit was, it wasn’t doing a damn thing to clear the dizziness in his head or the burning sensation around his rib cage.

Curiously, the one who came over and crouched down in front of him wasn’t John or the queen. It was Wrath. The king suddenly appeared in his watery vision, those sunglasses and that cruel face at total odds with the soft voice that he used.

“Put your head between your knees, son.” The king’s hand landed on his shoulder and gently pushed him down. “Go on now.”

Qhuinn did as he was told, and started to shake so badly that if it hadn’t been for Wrath’s big palm holding him steady, he would have fallen on the floor.

He would not cry. He refused to let one single tear out. Instead, he gasped and he shook and he grew drenched in a cold sweat.

Quietly, so only Wrath would hear, he whispered, “I thought… was all alone.”

“Nah,” Wrath answered just as softly. “Like I said, you’re one of us now, feel me?”

Qhuinn lifted his eyes. “But I’m no one.”

“Ah, to hell with that.” The king shook his head slowly. “You saved John’s honor. So like I said, you’re family, son.”

Qhuinn shifted his eyes over to Beth and John, who were standing side by side. Through his unshed tears, he saw the resemblance in their dark hair and deep blue eyes.

Family…

Qhuinn steeled his spine, got to his feet, and pulled himself up to his full height. Straightening his shirt and then his hair, he became completely and utterly composed as he walked over to John.

With set, straight shoulders, he put his hand out to his friend. “I’ll lay my life down for you. With or without that piece of paper.”

As the words came out of his mouth, he realized it was the first thing he’d ever said as a full-grown male, the first vow he’d ever taken. And he couldn’t think of a better person to offer it to, except for maybe Blay.

John glanced down, then clasped the palm that was presented to him, his grip firm and strong. They didn’t hug, they didn’t speak.

And I for you , John mouthed as their eyes met. And I… for you.

“You can ask me about Phury if you want. When you’re finished with that.”

Cormia straightened from the white candle she was lighting and glanced over her shoulder. Bella was lying on her back in the big bed across the room, her thin, pale hand on her rounded belly.

“Really, you can,” the female said with a small smile. “It’ll give me something else to think about. And right now I need that.”

Cormia blew out her match. “How did you know he was on my mind?”

“You have what I call a ‘male brow.’ Which is a frown brought on when you’re thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold him ’til he can’t breathe.”

“The Primale is not mine.” Cormia took the gold incense burner in her hand and moved it three times around the candle. The chant she recited was soft but insistent, calling upon the Scribe Virgin to watch over Bella and her young.

“He doesn’t love me,” Bella said. “Not really.”

Cormia put the burner on a table in the easternmost corner of the room and double-checked that the three candles had good, strong flames.

Past, present, and future.

“Did you hear what I said? He doesn’t love me.”

Cormia squeezed her eyes shut. “I do believe you are wrong about that.”

“He just thinks he does.”

“With all due respect-”

“Do you want him?”

Cormia flushed as what had happened in the movie theater came back to her. She relived the feel of him… the power she’d had with his sex in her hand… the way his mouth had moved against her breast.

Bella laughed softly. “I’ll take that blush as a yes.”

“Dearest Virgin, I have no idea what to say.”

“Sit with me.” Bella patted the bed next to her. “Let me tell you about him. And why I’m sure that he’s not in love with me.”

Cormia knew that if she went over and listened to how the Primale couldn’t possibly feel as he believed he did, she was just going to get more lost to him.

So naturally she sat down beside to Bella on the comforter.

“Phury’s a good male. A great male. He loves deeply, but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with everyone he cares about. If you two just take a little time-”

“I’m going back soon.”

Bella’s brows went up. “To the Other Side? Why?”

“I’ve been here a long time.” It was too hard to say she’d been passed over. Especially to Bella. “I’ve been here… long enough.”

Bella looked saddened. “Will Phury be leaving too?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, he’d have to come back to fight.”

“Ah… yes.” Clearly the female didn’t know he’d been removed from the Brotherhood yet, and now was not the time for her to have any unpleasant shocks.

Bella’s hand smoothed over her belly. “Has anyone told you why Phury became the Primale? Instead of Vishous, that is.”

"No. I didn’t even know there was a substitution until the Primale was the one who was with me in the temple.”

“Vishous fell in love with Doc Jane right about the time it was all going down. Phury didn’t want them to be parted, so he stepped in.” Bella shook her head. “The thing about Phury is, he’ll always put others before himself. Always. It’s his nature.”

“I know. That’s why I admire him so. Where I am from…” Cormia struggled to find the words. “To the Chosen, selflessness is the greatest of all values. We serve the race and the Scribe Virgin, and in doing so we joyfully put the whole before ourselves. It is the highest order of virtue to sacrifice yourself to the greater good, to that which is of more importance than the self. The Primale does that. I believe that is…”

“Is…?”

“That is why I respect him so. Well, that and his… his…”

Bella laughed in a throaty way. “His keen mind, right? It’s clearly got nothing to do with the yellow eyes or all that wonderful hair?”

Cormia figured that if her blush had spoken for her once already, it could do it again.

“You don’t have to answer,” Bella said with a smile. “He is a special male. But back to the selfless stuff? Here’s the thing. If you spend too much time focusing outward, you lose yourself. That’s why I worry about him. And that’s why I know he doesn’t truly love me. He believes I saved his twin in ways he couldn’t. It’s gratitude he feels. Intense gratitude and idolization. But it’s not true love.”

“How do you know this, though?”

There was a hesitation. “Ask him about his relationships with females. You’ll understand.”

“Has he been in love often?” She braced herself for the answer.

“Absolutely, positively no.” Bella’s hand went round and round her belly. “This isn’t any of my business, but I’m going to say it anyway. Save my hellren , there isn’t a male I hold in higher esteem than Phury, and I like you a lot. If he continues to stay here, I hope you do, too. I like the way you look at him. And I really like the way he looks at you.”