Keri Arthur - Deadly Desire

"But he wanted to. It was only his sister who kept him alive."

"And you think I wouldn't do the same for you?"

I placed a hand on his knee and squeezed lightly. "I know you would. But I don't ever want to face that decision or that situation. It's better if he's alive and out there somewhere."

Just not in my face. Or in my life.

But would fate let things go on like that? I had a bad feeling the answer would be no.

He blew out a breath and took another sip of his coffee. "So what do we do?"

"Right now?"

"Right now, and later on."

"Well, the first thing I need to do is go talk to Quinn."

"Oh, fuck ."

"Yeah," I said, keeping my voice even though everything inside seemed to hurt. Or everything that wasn't half frozen, at least.

"What the hell are you going to say to him?"

I snorted softly. "Why do you think I've been sitting out here for the last two hours?"

"You've got to tell him. You owe him that."

"But he doesn't deserve this." Neither of us deserved it. Not when everything was finally starting to fall into place between us.

He hugged me harder and for several minutes, we didn't say anything. Just sat there contemplating the evilness of the universe. Or at least, that's what I was contemplating.

I drained the remainder of my coffee, then said, "There is one tiny spark of hope."

"Of what?"

"Of me and Quinn not being totally over."

Rhoan snorted. "You may not want Kye as a soul mate, and he may not want you, but trust me, he's not going to be interested in sharing, either."

"Quinn's old enough and powerful enough to take care of himself, even against the likes of Kye." Hell, Quinn had once been a professional killer himself, and for far longer than Kye had been. "Besides, Liander shares you."

"Liander is an amazingly patient and loving person. I get the feeling Kye will be neither of those." Rhoan drained his own cup, then plucked mine from my fingers and tossed both into the nearby trash can. "Besides, what makes you think that Quinn will want to share you with your soul mate, knowing that at any moment he could lose you? You ask a lot of him."

"But what if he's my soul mate, too?"

Rhoan looked at me like I was crazy. "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Dia once asked me if a wolf with two souls can have just the one soul mate. What if she's right? What if both men are meant to be in my life?"

"I think you're asking for a whole lot of trouble even contemplating that."

"It's not like I actually want both men."

"No, but you're a wolf in all but blood. That means one soul mate, not two."

"So, I can't have two soul mates," I retorted, pulling away from his arm, "but it's okay for you to have a soul mate and play around?"

"It's different, sis."

"No, it's not ."

"Liander won't be driven to kill because he knows, without a doubt, that he is the only one that means something to me. There's no shared emotion with anyone else. No danger that I will ever want to stay with anyone else." He touched my chin gently and made me look at him. "How can you possibly promise that to Quinn when your wolf soul mate is out there? When we all know just how desperate you are to have children, and that's the one thing that Kye can give you and Quinn can't?"

"I'm never going to have kids, Rhoan-"

"Maybe you can't carry them, but you have viable eggs frozen and there are always surrogates. Kye gives you an option. Quinn doesn't."

"I know, but-"

"No. You have to consider these things now, before you make any decisions you'll regret."

I stared at him for a moment. "You want Kye in the family?"

He snorted. "God no. I just want you to be fully aware of all the implications before you make any lifetime decisions."

"Kye isn't a lifetime decision." He was a problem I might never get around.

"Realistically, he's more lifetime than Quinn right now. He's your soul mate. How can you promise anything to Quinn when Kye is out there?"

"I can't, but-"

"You cant ," he cut in. "So you're left with the possibility of two men who won't share, one of whom who has already proven he will go to great lengths to make you his."

I jerked away from his touch again and thrust to my feet, taking several steps away from him before I stopped. I breathed deep, but it still didn't do anything to ease the turmoil within me.

"This might be all a moot point anyway," I said eventually, "because I might not be like you. I might not even want anyone else now that my wolf has found her soul mate."

Hell, Ben had been like that. He might take other lovers now, but certainly not when his soul mate was alive. And with the games fate was playing, it'd be my luck to be more like Ben than my brother-and the result would be the loss of a man I really wanted over one I didn't.

"Then this arguing is pointless. You need to uncover all the facts before you worry about the consequences."

I closed my eyes. It was a moment, a discovery, I really didn't want to make. Because once I knew, I would face the hardest decision of all.

"It's only going to get harder the longer you leave it, sis," Rhoan said softly. "Just do it. Now. Then you'll know, one way or the other."

"Okay, okay." There really was no point in putting it off any longer, and sitting here stewing over it certainly hadn't gotten me any closer to a solution. He was right. It was better to know than to worry over what might or might not be. I turned around and held out my hand. "I need your keys."

He reached into his pocket, then tossed the keys to me. "You don't want company?"

I smiled, though it was a pale shadow of its usual self. "I think this is something I'd better do alone."

"Be careful then, won't you?"

"Quinn's not going to hurt me."

"I meant, be careful driving. I don't think you're in the best frame of mind for concentrating on the roads."

This time, my smile was warmer. "I won't dent your car, bro. I promise."

He snorted. "I'm more worried about you denting yourself."

"I won't do that, either."

"Good. Then get."

I got, but with a whole lot of reluctance.

I went home to shower and change first. Luckily for me, Liander wasn't there, because the last thing I needed was to go through the whole explaining thing again. I just wanted to get over to Quinn's, discover what I had to discover, and then make any decisions I had to make.

It was still very early in the morning, so the traffic hadn't yet reached its peak. I parked in the Langham hotel's underground lot, then made my way up to Quinn's suite.

One there, I dug the key card out of my wallet and swiped it through the slot. The lock clicked and I pushed the door open. The suite was dark, but I could hear the soft timbre of breathing coming from the bedroom. I doubted he'd be asleep. Not now that I was in the room. The beat of my heart was a cadence that would have woken him immediately.

I took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension that was rolling though my body. It didn't help-nothing would. Not until I had my answers. I forced my feet forward, stripping down as I went, scattering shoes and clothes haphazardly across the lush carpet.

He reached for me the minute I slipped in beside him. Every muscle was so tightly wound that his caress felt like a blow. I shuddered a little and tried to relax. But how could I do that when what happened in the next few minutes might be the end of a relationship that had barely begun to blossom?

"You're later than I thought you might be," he said, kissing my cheek, my neck, my shoulder. "Were there problems with the job?"

"Let's just say there were some discoveries made that have caused monumental problems."