Christine Feehan - Dark Secret

What about Paul and Ginny, Nicolas? Are they all right without me? She worked to keep the wistful note out of her voice so it wouldn't upset Rafael. That world seemed so far away from her now. She hadn't been happy when told the news that the children had been spirited away to Brazil for protection-but she understood.

They are being spoiled by aunts, uncles, and a hundred cousins. They miss you.

She was grateful Nicolas thought to add the last.

Stop him now and put him back in the soil. That was Gregori, the healer. Colby could feel Rafael's spirit edging away from her as the pain grew intolerable. She halted his feeding, hesitating only for a moment before swiping her tongue across the ugly wound on her wrist. With Nicolas's help she sent Rafael to sleep and closed her eyes wearily, slumping against the soil, uncaring that she lay in what looked like a grave. All that mattered was that she keep Rafael alive.

"You need to feed." Vikirnoff's voice jerked her out of her reverie.

She felt her mouth go dry. Rafael put her under enthrallment, but she wasn't ready to relinquish that kind of control to someone else. "I don't know if I can," she answered honestly.

"If you do not feed, you will grow weak and you will not be able to hold him to you," Vikirnoff pointed out. "I will keep you from knowing."

Her heart slammed in her chest at the idea of giving Vikirnoff, a virtual stranger, that sort of control over her. With Rafael unconscious, she turned instinctively to his brother. Nicolas! What should I do? Nicolas was close to Rafael, her link to him. She had no one else to turn to in the unfamiliar situation. I can't think about his giving me blood.

Vikirnoff is an honorable Carpathian. Allow him to compel you. You must maintain your strength in order to sustain Rafael's life.

She felt another of Rafael's brothers move through Nicolas to reach her. Zacarias, the oldest, the strongest, the one the brothers all deferred to. She picked that out of Rafael's memories. I will make certain no harm comes to you. Colby was amazed at the incredible sense of family, of the love they shared for her through Rafael.

Over the next several risings she repeated the same ritual each evening. She sometimes woke in the night to lie with the soil open, Rafael's head pillowed in her lap, to stare at the sky and twinkling stars, her hands stroking caresses in his hair, willing him to survive, to come back to her. She devoted herself and her will completely to healing him. Vikirnoff supplied nourishment and she became comfortable with his presence, but never enough to submit her will on her own. Nicolas or one of Rafael's other brothers always had to be with her before she would allow Vikirnoff to place her under his enthrallment.

On the seventh evening Vikirnoff rose well before Colby and was already out of the earth when she awakened. She was competent at opening the earth now and she floated to the surface, clothing herself the way Nicolas had taught her. She would awaken Rafael as soon as she had gathered fresh herbs and healing plants. "Vikirnoff?" She looked around. He was always waiting to supply Rafael with blood. She found a single rose lying across the boulder near the hot springs.

He was gone. That could only mean one thing. Colby spun around, holding the long-stemmed rose, her heart pounding in anticipation.

Rafael stood there looking fit, much more fit than he had a right to, but he bore the signs of his brush with death. His beautiful dark hair, falling halfway down his back, was streaked gray on his left side. His face was etched with new lines and there was a weariness in his eyes that had never been there before. He touched the scar on his chest from Kirja's attack. "Carpathians are not supposed to scar."

She drank him in. Tears burned behind her eyelids and she had to swallow several times to get rid of the lump in her throat. "Maybe I didn't heal you in the right way." She couldn't stop looking at him. He was so solid. So alive. "You look perfect to me." She didn't mean to blurt it out. He already wore confidence like a second skin.

"You saved my life."

Colby nodded. "Someone had to do it. You were a mess."

His black eyes regarded her without blinking. She'd forgotten how completely he could focus on her. Her legs turned rubbery, but she stood her ground, trying to look nonchalant. "Are you sure you should be up?" Her gaze drifted down his body and the air seemed to leave her lungs in a long rush. He was definitely up and seemingly fit.

A slow, sensual grin curved his mouth. His eyes darkened with a blatant sexuality. "Oh, I am very sure."

A blush stole up her neck to her face. "You know what I mean. You nearly died." There was a hint of accusation in her voice.

"I promise to be far more careful in the future, querida." He couldn't get enough of looking at her. He took a step toward her and watched with narrowed gaze as she took a small step back.

"I don't think you can ever do something like that again. You scared me."

"I am sorry." His gaze met hers steadily. "For a lot of things. It was wrong of me to convert you without your permission. You were working your way to me and I grew impatient. I should have had more faith."

"Yes, you should have. I will never be happy without a full partnership, Rafael. I'm not the sort of woman to tolerate you arbitrarily making decisions for me." She wanted to be stern. It was necessary to get her point across, but he looked so alive, when he'd been so close to death for so many days. She had seen the battle in his mind and it had been horrendous.

"I am very aware of what kind of woman you are, Colby," he agreed quietly. "I will do my best to try to work on learning to be a partner."

"Well, work on it fast." She had so much more to say on the subject, but she couldn't think of what it was at that precise moment. All she could think about was touching the new lines in his face. His scar. She wanted to smooth the frown from his mouth and erase the worry from his eyes.

"I have to explain about Paul," he said, determined to make certain she understood why he'd taken the boy from her. "I had no choice but to send him away. Kirja was unlike any vampire we have ever encountered. He was a childhood friend. A close friend who knew the way I hunt. He was a powerful Carpathian and as a vampire he had become tremendously powerful. If we did not succeed in destroying him, sooner or later he would have succeeded in killing Paul, or using him to harm you or Ginny. I knew I was risking you not understanding, but I honestly felt it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do."

"I know." She had seen the struggle in his mind. In all the time she had spent healing him, she had merged often with him to keep him alive and she'd seen his strengths and weaknesses. She had seen his memories and regrets, the way he wanted to do what was right and best for her even if it meant risking their relationship. His actions were motivated by love, not by a sense of power. He seemed to have trouble expressing his love in ways other than sexual. Colby was certain she could spend the next few centuries helping him learn to communicate better.

"Colby, about the ranch. I want you to come to Brazil. We can hold the ranch in trust for Paul and Ginny, until they are old enough to decide where they wish to live. I would like them to know Armando's family. My family. And I would like for my family to know all of you. But if you cannot be happy there, we will come back and live together here."

It was a tremendous concession. A gift he was handing her. He wanted to go home. He needed to go home. His heart and soul yearned for the rain forest, for his ranch, for the things familiar to him. For his family, both human and Carpathian. But she was in his mind and she felt his sincerity. He would make every effort to do what made her happy. And Colby found it wasn't the ranch that mattered. It belonged to Paul and Ginny. She was more than happy to relinquish her share. If her brother and sister loved Brazil, she would love it. And if they needed to return to the ranch, she would return with them until they were of an age when they could cope on their own. But always, her choice was Rafael. She smiled at him. "I hope you have horses. I need to be around horses."