Christine Feehan - Dark Secret

Fear lived and breathed inside of her. She pushed herself up, tried to crawl away from him, a hurt, wounded animal. He caught her in firm hands, his insides churning with bile. He had done this to her, in his own arrogance believing he had the right to her. He had no idea of the suffering the conversion would cause and it sickened him.

The pain was excruciating. Colby's eyes were glazed and her body writhed. "Did you do this to me so you could take Paul and Ginny?" She made the accusation hysterically. "You really aren't any different from the vampire controlling Paul."

The hurt in her eyes, the suggestion of betrayal shattered his soul. Did she see him like that? Did she honestly believe he could do this to her to get the children from her? His soul shrieked in reprimand, in horror at him for what he'd done. He felt moisture on his face, knew he shed tears, knew he had committed an unpardonable act. She had been making her way to him but his lack of patience could very well have destroyed his fragile hold on her emotions.

He bent over her so she could see he told the stark truth. "I love you more than my own life, more than anything on this earth. I had no idea it would be like this. I swear I am telling you the truth. I am more sorry than you will ever know for bringing you into my world without your consent."

She looked up at his ravaged face, the blood red tears seeping from his eyes, and her heart fluttered with forgiveness for one brief moment. The next wave hit and she turned away from him, writhing and convulsing, the fire burning her from the inside out.

Rafael could only remain helplessly by her side as the conversion took control of her body, forcing her to rid it of toxins, of everything human. His power meant little in the face of such pain. He attempted to take the pain for her, but it was impossible. They had no choice but to ride it out together. He tried to hold her, to comfort her, washing her, rocking her, murmuring as much encouragement as he could to her. All the while he felt he was dying inside. He couldn't take the pain from his lifemate. He couldn't take back what he'd done. He had to go forward now no matter the cost and he was afraid the price was going to be much higher than anything he'd ever considered.

When it was safe, he opened the mineral-rich soil and floated down into the depths of the earth, holding her in his arms. For the first time in centuries he found himself weeping hard, feeling lost and ashamed of his own actions.

Paul writhed on the bed, drenched in sweat, the sheets twisted around his body. "I won't do it. Colby! Colby!" He screamed for his sister and pushed both hands flat over his ears. "I won't. You can't make me."

Ginny sat up, looking around the strange bedroom. She was sharing a room with her friend Tanya. She could hear her brother muttering and sometimes shouting for Colby. Immediately she got up and, with a quick glance at the sleeping Tanya, hurried out of the room and down the hall to where her brother was staying. Juan and Julio were already up and coming out of their rooms. Julio extended his hand to her with a warm smile. Ginny hesitated a moment before she placed her hand in his. "I think Paul's having nightmares," she whispered.

"Does he have them often?" Julio asked with a quick glance at his brother.

She shook her head. "Not Paul." She knocked once and pushed open the door. Paul knelt up on the bed, his eyes wild, his chest bare. Only his pajama bottoms covered him. The sheet was a tangle on the floor, ripped in several places. Ginny could see Paul's skin was coated in sweat. He had a knife poised over his wrist. There were several small cuts on his arm and each trickled blood.

He shook his head hard, tears welling up. "Get out. Get out, Ginny. Hurry."

Julio caught Ginny to him and pushed her behind him even as he held out his hand to Paul. "You cannot do this thing, Paul. Give me the knife. Fight it. Fight what the vampire orders you to do."

Paul looked helpless, a small child seeking an adult's understanding. "I have been fighting, for hours now. I can't hold out any longer. I can't. Where's Colby? You have to tell her I tried to fight it."

"Listen to me, Paul." Julio pitched his voice low, keeping the boy's attention centered on him so Juan could begin to maneuver his way along the edge of the wall toward their nephew. "It's the vampire. He's trying to use you to hurt Colby. You don't want him to hurt your sister, do you? If he can succeed in taking your life, she'll never be the same. He knows Colby loves you."

Tears poured down the boy's face. "He whispers to me all the time. I've tried, but I can't seem to stop myself."

Ginny made a single sound of distress, drawing Paul's attention. He shook his head. "Please, Ginny. Please get out of here. I don't want you to see me like this. You can't watch."

Paul felt the vampire stirring again. Just before dawn the creature had begun to work on him. He seemed distant and weak, at times losing the contact. Paul had the impression he was injured in some way, but then he would renew his attack, whispering commands, demanding compliance. Demanding Paul cut himself over and over, insisting he take his own life. Paul fought hard against the commands, but the vampire wore him down. Where was Nicolas? Where was Rafael? Both had promised to help him.

The vampire gripped him hard in his thrall. He'd gathered his strength and made one concentrated attempt to force the boy into compliance. Paul's eyes opened wide, staring into space as he felt the undead move within him. For one ghastly moment he was aware of the creature in his head, looking through his eyes in triumphant glee. He felt the terrible bite of the blade into his flesh. It hurt, a searing pain that lanced through his body. Time stopped. In that heartbeat, five separate people were joined together. Nicolas and Rafael had taken Paul's blood and they were suddenly aware, brought out of their sleep, sharing his head with the vampire. They could all see one another; feel one another. It was sobering and terrible, the vampire elated, his evil laughter a harsh echo in Paul's mind.

Through Rafael, Colby joined them. Paul felt her awareness, the scream of anguish welling up. The terrible moment when he was conscious of Colby, buried beneath the ground, trying to claw her way up through the soil to try to reach the surface and get to him. In that heartbeat they were all together and the vampire threw back his head and laughed in triumphant glee.

Juan dove for Paul, knocking him back on the bed, wrestling the knife from him. Paul blinked rapidly to clear his blurring sight and to try to focus on what was really happening. The thought of Colby buried alive made him ill. His wrist burned and his uncles were tying him down so he couldn't hurt himself while they worked on stopping the flow of blood. Paul could hear Ginny crying, but he couldn't move, couldn't find his voice, could only lie still with his heart pounding and a terrible dread beginning to flood his brain. The vampire wasn't finished.

Colby. Rafael caught her to him as she struggled wildly, tearing through soil with her bare hands to get to her brother. He had placed her in a deep sleep. Nothing should have disturbed her. Nothing should have penetrated the safeguards to awaken her, yet she was frantic to get to Paul.

It is her Dragonseeker blood, Nicolas explained calmly. She is far stronger than either of us realized.

It was true. Rafael knew her bloodline provided the iron in her will and also enhanced the tremendous sexual hunger she couldn't overcome when she was around her lifemate. The bloodline was both her strength and her downfall. Her pain and anguish tore at him. Querida. He smoothed her hair, pulled her hands away from the soil. Paul will not die. You cannot leave this place of healing. He could still feel the fire in her body, her organs still undergoing the reshaping.