Luke Rheinhart - The Diceman

Slowly he straightened himself up and, standing, bowed his head in a brief prayer. Then he smoothed down his clothing and his hair and moved toward the party. He wanted first see his wife to abase himself before her. He walked down the hall to the living room and from the doorway squinted through the random clusters of faces, looking for her. Those talking and drinking paid him no special attention, but Mrs. Ecstein came up behind him and said that his wife was in Dr. Mann's office: He followed her down the hall and over the broken glass to the office. He found Dr. Mann and Dr. Ecstein standing awkwardly on either side of his wife, who sat, childlike, on the edge of Dr. Mann's consulting couch.

The sight of her, hunched over and small, her face pale but streaked with smeared eye shadow, her hair in disarray, an ugly man's sweater draped clumsily over her shoulders, knocked Dr. Rhinehart without conscious intention to his with his chest and head too lowering forward until he groveled at his wife's feet.

The room was silent that they could all hear quite distinctly from the centre of the house the ratatattat of Dr. Krum's laughter: `Forgive me, Lil, I am mad,' Dr. Rhinehart said.

Ne one spoke. Rhinehart raised his head and chest from the floor to look at his wife and he said: `For what I have done there is no forgiveness in this world; but I am repentant. I . . . I have been purified … by the hell that I am causing. I..' His eyes suddenly brightened with eagerness `I feel only love for you and for all here. The world can be a blessed place if we but love one another.'

'Luke, baby, what are you . . .?' Dr. Ecstein said, and he took a step forward as if to raise Dr. Rhinehart up but stopped.

`Beautiful, beautiful Jake, I'm talking about love.'

Dr. Rhinehart shook his head slowly as if confused, and a childlike smile appeared on his face. `I've been all mixed up,

all wrong; love, loving, loveliness is all there is: He turned and stretched out his arms to his wife. 'Lil, my darling, you

must realize that Heaven is here, is now, with me.'

His wife returned his gaze for a moment and then slowly raised her eyes to Dr. Mann beside her. A look of immense

relief began to appear on her face.

`He is insane, isn't he?' she asked.

'I don't know,' Dr. Mann said. `Now, of course, but he keeps changing so. It may be only temporary.'

'You fools, we've all been insane,' Dr. Rhinehart said. `I but look at each of you and love. God is shining forth from

each of you like fluorescent lights. Open your eyes and see: He was erect now on his knees, his fists clenched and his

face strangely exalted.

`Better give him a shot of sodium amaytol, Tim,' Dr. Ecstein said to Dr. Mann in a whisper.

`I've only got pills here in the house,' Dr. Mann whispered back.

`Careless,' Dr. Ecstein said.

`But why why why,' Dr. Rhinehart began forcefully, `do you want to quiet God? I am among you spraying love and

you do not hear, do not see, do not let it refresh you.'

He arose. `I must beg forgiveness of that poor innocent girl and show her my new love.'

And he abruptly strode from the room.

Down the hall and over the broken glass again and into the living room. Miss Welish was with Dr. Boyd beside the

bookcase in one corner. When he went to them, Dr. Boyd came protectively between Dr. Rhinehart and the girl.

`What now, Luke?' he said.

`I am deeply sorry for the insane attack I made on you, Miss Welish. I sincerely regret it. Only now do I see the true

meaning of love.'

Miss Welish, round-eyed, peeked around her escort's shoulder.

`Oh come off it, Luke,' Dr. Boyd said.

'You are beautiful; you are both beautiful, and I deeply regret having marred this wonderful evening.'

'I hope I didn't hurt you,' Miss Welish said.

'My pain was the initial source of my seeing the light. I can't thank you enough.'

'Any time,' Dr. Boyd said. `Come on, Joya, let's leave.'

`But I have to. . ' The voice of Miss Welish was lost behind the retreating figure of Dr. Boyd.

`You are better, true?' Dr. Krum said suddenly from below and beside Dr. Rhinehart as the two others moved away.

The min, elderly former Big Deal was with him, and so was a fiftyish Important Person puffing on a pipe. As they

began talking, Dr. Weinburger, president of PANY, the chubby middle-aged woman joined them.

`I am whole at last,' Dr. Rhinehart replied.

'What was this about the dice man, hey? Vas interesting.'

`The Dice Man is a deeply sick concept, totally lacking in love.'

`Seemed a bit schizophrenic the way Dr. Krum described it,' said Dr. Weinburger.

`But the idea of destroying the personality: is interesting,' Dr. Krum went on.

`Only if it shatters the shell which hides our love,' Dr. Rhinehart replied.

`Love?' Dr. Weinburger inquired.

`Our love.'

`Vat has love to do vith anything?' asked Dr. Krum.

`Love has something to do with everything. If I do not love I am dead.'

`How true,' the woman said.

`My whole recent life has been thrown away in a cold, mechanical dicelife. I see that now as clearly as your beautiful,

handsome faces.'

'Luke, I'd like you to come outdoors with me for a few minutes now,' Dr. Ecstein's voice said at Dr. Rhinehart's side.

`I will, Jake, but I must explain something first to' Dr. Krum.'

He turned to the little man beside him with a warm, pleading expression.

'You must stop your work with pigeons and work only with man. You can never approach what is essential to man's health and happiness through torturing chickens and pigeons. Schizophrenia is a failure to love, a failure to see loveliness. It will never be cured by a drug.'

`Oh, Dr. Rhinehart, you are being sentimental like poet,' Dr. Krum said.

`A single line of Shelley tells us more of man than all your chicken pigeon droppings ever can.'

`People haf been spouting love two thousand years. Nothing. With chemicals we change the world.'

'Thou shah not kill,' Dr. Rhinehart said.

We do not kill, only make psychotics.'

`You do not love your chickens.'

`Is impossible. No one who works with chickens can ever luf them.'

'A spiritual man loves all with a spiritual love that is never selfish, possessive or physical.'

`Oh, for Christ's sake, Luke Dr. Ecstein said.

`Precisely,' said Dr. Rhinehart. `Excuse me a moment.'

With the eminent physicians looking on, Dr. Rhinehart consulted his watch case. He groaned.

`Is late?'

Dr. Krum asked.

Dr. Rhinehart's eyes swiveled over the room like artillery radar seeking its target.

`I didn't know Dr. Rhinehart was an existentialist humanist,' the woman said.

`He's a nut,' Dr. Ecstein said, `even if he is my patient'

`Meetcha outside in five minutes, Jake. So long fellas,' Dr. Rhinehart said and strode off toward the entrance hall, but

after passing a cluster of people behind the couch he veered to his right and went down the same hallway again.

As he crunched over the broken glass he saw Miss Welish and Mrs. Ecstein emerging from the room opposite the one

he had been carried to. They stopped at the end of the hall and looked at him warily.

'Lil's been given a pill and is resting,' Mrs. Ecstein said. `I don't think you should disturb her.'

`My God, Arlene, your boobs make my mouth water. Let's go into the john.'

Mrs. Ecstein stared at him for a moment. She looked sideways at Miss Welish and then back to the doctor. Then, still

staring at her mentor, she shook her tiny purse up and down three times, opened it a crack, and peeked in. Closing the

purse, she said: `I love your big prick, Luke. Let's go: Miss Welish looked in awe from one to the other.

`You too, baby;' Dr. Rhinehart said to her.