Janice Lee - The Piano Teacher

“But now?”she asked.

“I’m getting there,” he said with an edge to his voice. “Just listen.”

He began again.

“And so we danced with them, our captors, although it was always a fine line between being good and being proud. We always hoped. There were small things like growing the vegetables in the garden inaVso that when it sprouted up, it would be a nice surprise and an encouragement. Childish, you know. One never gets used to being a prisoner, although we got used to our daily routine.

“And people were petty, of course. And others were unbelievably kind and generous. You had all sorts of behavior. The Japs too. There were good ones and bad ones.”

“There was a woman,” Claire said. “Trudy.”

“Yes, Trudy.” He stopped. “Trudy. I think you would have liked her.”

“We are different,” Claire said. She didn’t know why, as she said it, she felt that she was being kind to Will.

Will snorted. “Yes, you are. That’s an understatement. But you would have liked her, I know.”

“You were with her.”

He hesitated. “Yes.”

“And…”

“No longer. She’s gone,” he said.

“How? ”

“I failed her,” he said. “She wanted me to come out and live on the outside with her. She was on the outside because she wasn’t British. She got me a pass. But I refused.”

“You didn’t want to leave the people inside the camp?”Claire asked.

“Yes,” he said. “That was part of it. I was helpful inside the camp and could get things done. Certainly no one wanted me to leave. But-” He stopped.

“Yes?”Claire prompted.

“But I think I was afraid too,” he said softly. “If I went outside, it was a whole new world and I’d have to learn the new rules. I would have to start as a beginner, disadvantaged, get my bearings all over again.

“I was tired,” he said simply. “And I didn’t want more change. It was hard in the camp but if you obeyed the rules, you weren’t bothered. Outside it was chaos. Trudy had things snatched from her hands as she walked down the street. Once it was food and the boy crammed some bread in his mouth as he ran. He was starving and couldn’t run properly. He had no shoes and no shirt. I think all he had was the trousers he had on. There was starvation and desperation and misery. She told me about it. There was no filter. It was real.”

He looked at Claire.

“And she died,” Claire said, almost without knowing it.

“Yes, she died.”

“How?”

“Some would say by the hand of her benefactor,” he said. “A man who gave her many things, and took them away when he wanted. If I had been outside with her, he would have controlled me too.”

A mosquito buzzed between them, floating in the damp air.

“He made her do awful things. He found out she was smuggling messages into the camp along with the food, so he made her bring tainted food the next time. Not enough to kill, just sicken, and there was nothing in the way of medical supplies, so people suffered. That’s the kind of bastard he was. I had to tell her the next time she came, and her face just crumpled. She hadn’t known. I believe that still. She hadn’t known but she couldn’t do anything. She didn’t know if he would do it again, or if the food would be all right the next time, and we were in such desperate need that we just took it and ate it.”

“How do you know he did it?”Claire asked. “Maybe it was just a mistake.”

“Oh, yes,” Will said. “We knew. He asked her after she returned how her friends were doing, and he laughed in her face. She only told me that afterward.”

“And Victor?”

“Victor Chen.” He laughed. “Oh, yes, my esteemed employer.”

“But Pwhat? ” she asked. “What of him?”

“What of Victor Chen?” Will said. “What of Victor Chen? How to begin?”

He slapped Claire suddenly on the arm.

“Got it,” he said, lifting up his hand to show a bloodied black spot, a tangle of tiny insect legs and antennae. “Damn bloodsuckers.”

He leaned over and rinsed his hands in the sea. He lifted them up. Drops of water sparkled and dripped from his fingers. He looked at them contemplatively.

“Victor Chen murdered Trudy,” he said.

“A GRATEFUL OTSUBO is what I want,” Trudy is saying. “If he’s grateful, who knows what he’ll do. Maybe he’ll get you repatriated! But you can’t leave. I don’t want to live in England.”

She never asks him again, not directly. She whispers, implies, ingratiates. She dangles rewards before him and then, finally, hate-fully, hints at what may befall her if she does not come through for the man.

“He wants one big payday, you know,” she says. “He is a simple man. He wants to go back to his country, buy some land in the country, and build a cottage for himself and his family. He wants to bring his parents out, take care of them. He’s really a family man.”

As she outlines this outlandish idea, he nods, pretends to listen, possibly agree.

“And he’s getting a wee bit impatient, but I think he’s getting close. He’s found out that Reggie Arbogast is indeed one of the people who was entrusted with the location. So you should know that. He has eyes and ears everywhere and I think they’re making progress. But he does get frustrated…” she trails off. “And when he’s frustrated…”

Three weeks later, another furlough.

“I’m working on getting it weekly for you. Do you like it?” she says when she picks him up. “All the bankers are outside, I don’t see why you shouldn’t be. They’re putting them up at the Luk Kwok and they escort them down to the office every day. I don’t think they’re getting better rations than us, but who knows.”

He gets in the driver’s seat.

“Have you seen Angeline? How is she doing?”

Trudy looks up at the sky.

“Angeline,” she starts. “Angeline seems to have suffered a crisis of conscience, is that what you call it?”

“What happened?”He starts up the car.

“She has gotten all up on herself and has decided that I am not a person that she wishes to associate with. Can you imagine?” She smiles tightly. “The godmother of her child!”

“Did she give you a reason?”

“No,” she says. “I went to visit her in Kowloon and her maid told me she wasn’t home. She was funny about it, though, and when I walked away I looked up and saw Angeline at the window. She wasn’t even trying to hide. She looked at me straight and then drew the curtains. Very grim.”

“You are presuming…”

“Oh, no, darling,” she says. “I know Angeline very well and she doesn’t need to say anything to me for me to know exactly what she is thinking. I’m just hoping you won’t come to the same conclusion. I’m going to become a pariah; I can just see it now.”

He bursts with his own confession.

“Trudy, I haven’t asked.”

She knows immediately what he is talking about.

“Maybe the right time hasn’t come up,” she says.

He cannot lie to her.

“I will not ask,” he says. “It just seems wrong.”

“Oh! You won’t even try!” A choked sound comes from her throat. “Wrong! Well, I can see that.”

“And why would Arbogast tell me anyway?” he finishes lamely. “We aren’t friends.”

She doesn’t speak again until they’re at the Toa.

“Here we are,” she says. “Are you hungry?”

Always the Chinese with their damn food, he thinks.

“No,” he says, getting out of the car. “Are you?”

“Otsubo wants us to meet him for lunch,” she says. “He’s waiting upstairs.”

“And you were going to tell me this when?”he says. “When I sit myself down on his lap?”