Jesse Bullington - The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart

They darted under branches and scrambled through brushwood, but within minutes they both realized the hopelessness of their plight. The creature waited on a stump just downstream, making no attempt to hide. Realizing the futility of an action and altering said action are two entirely different matters, however, and the Grossbarts plunged off into the forest anew, away from their stalker.

Wheezing and wide-eyed, they stumbled over rocks that hid beneath the loam. A thick grove of yews covered a steep decline, and before one brother could caution the other they both slid down the embankment. They caught themselves midway down on slick branches, but before they regained their balance the thing had appeared between them in the mossy tangle of tree limbs.

Hegel almost dived down the slope but paused, more from fear of later facing their adversary alone than from true courage. Manfried held on to a bough ten feet up the hill, the lattice of branches allowing the creature to advance above him. A tapered limb sagged under its weight just above Manfried. Instead of jumping up to meet his end the Grossbart leaped toward a lower tree. He slid past it and his brother, who now hurried after, the trees shaking around them.

At the bottom Manfried scrambled up but his brother crashed into him, both of them wet with dirt and bruised with rock. They seemed to dance a few steps, arms wrapped around each other to keep from falling. The trees overhead swayed and the creature lunged.

The Grossbarts shoved themselves apart, making it land between rather than atop them. Even disoriented, exhausted, and terrified, the Brothers excelled at this sort of scrape. Operating purely on instinct, they fell on the beast before it could get out from between the two. Manfried embedded the flanged mace in its haunches and Hegel brought his blade across its face, slicing into the bridge of its nose and eyes. It swiped Hegel’s arm in the process but he held his sword even though it suddenly felt a hundreds pounds heavier.

It blindly tried to run but Manfried’s mace moored it, and it kicked at him with its hind legs. He let go of his weapon to avoid the claws, but as it skittered away into the hollow Hegel pounced, aiming for his brother’s weapon protruding from its back. The sword ricocheted off the head of the mace even as that weapon came loose from its flesh, and Hegel’s blade cleaved into the creature’s raised spine.

Toppling forward, it let out a distinctly human scream. Hegel stared in shock, the thing pulling itself forward with its front legs despite the wreckage of its haunches and the wound to its face. Manfried appeared beside him, hefting a large rock he had unearthed. A delighted grin appearing from under his beard, he slammed it into the monster’s wispy pate. It went still, shitting itself all over their boots. They beamed at each other, then each grabbed a back leg and dragged it out of the thicket.

A loud crack came from behind them but after the initial fear they understood thunder to be the culprit. Snow lightly filtered through the canopy as they pulled the dead thing into a small clearing. Manfried retrieved his mace and kissed its gory head. Hegel’s numb right arm dripped even after he clumsily bound it. They both poked at the corpse, their earlier jubilation now darkened by the sheer nastiness of the thing.

“Four legs,” Hegel mumbled, “four goddamn legs.”

“Stands to reason,” said Manfried, not needing to elaborate.

After a period of quiet observation Manfried turned and vomited. His brother moved to heckle him but something in the corner of his eye stopped him dead. He turned back, his hackles rising.

“Mary’s Teats!” Hegel barked, pawing his brother’s back as he drew his sword. “It’s movin!”

Manfried looked up, tried to say something, and vomited again. The sticky fluid had not finished coming up before he stumbled toward the thing, fumbling with his mace. True enough, its flank rose and fell, and one paw began digging into the dirt.

Manfried rolled the thing onto its stomach with his weapon. The shallow wounds on its back were far less severe then they definitely had been when they had dragged it out of the brush. Seeing this, Hegel went berserk. He hacked the crushed head free and kicked it away from the bleeding stump, then stomped at its cranium until the pulpy chunk bore no vestiges of humanity.

Occupied with his task, Hegel did not see what happened to the corpse. Manfried could not open his mouth, hypnotized by the sight. Steam pored from the mutilated remains, its legs pulling inward, its back arching. In moments the skin holding it together melted off into a greasy pool, taking all color with it. The musculature and bones remained but these were sallow and pasty as a grub. Its hair came loose and floated in the pool save for a wide flap of pelt running from shoulders to haunches, resting on the gruesome lump like an ill-fitting cloak. This scrap retained its odd coloration, shining black and gray, red and blond.

Finally tearing himself away from splattering brains, Hegel took one look at the mess in front of Manfried and dropped his sword.

“What in Hell did you do ?” Hegel was more than a little impressed.

“Power a prayer.” Manfried shuddered.

“I, uh, didn’t mean to. Didn’t mean to-” Hegel swallowed. “Didn’t mean to take Her, uh, Bosom in vain.”

Manfried waved it off, eyes locked on the pelt. Something about it intrigued him, maybe the way the different hues played off each other. Hegel watched his brother, apprehensive that a reference to the Virgin’s chest failed to get a response, regardless of extenuating circumstances.

Hegel narrowed his eyes, steeling himself for the coming blasphemy. “Mary’s Wet Ass.”

“Uh huh.” Manfried leaned out to touch it, to see if it felt as warm and dry as he suspected.

“Stay away from that!” Hegel barked, grabbing his brother’s wrist.

Manfried shoved him away, suddenly light-headed. “What’re you on bout?”

“What am I-No, what’re you on bout? Why you want to touch that nasty thing?” Hegel could not articulate why the idea bothered him, but it did.

“Dunno.” Manfried grumbled, standing up slowly. “Looked nice.”

“Nice? Nice! It’s a rotten old skin from some demon and you think it’s pretty?!”

“Suppose it is a demon-skin,” Manfried admitted, still staring at it. “Guess I probably shouldn’t lay hands on it.”

“Damn right,” Hegel huffed, secretly relieved Manfried had not picked up on his defamation of the Virgin.

“We can’t just leave it here,” said Manfried, “some heretic might find it and put it to evil use.”

“What use?”

“I ain’t no heretic so I couldn’t say. But they’d find a use for it, rest assured. So we should probably take it with us.”

“What fresh Hell is this? We’s not takin that mangy hide no place. It stays where it lays.”

Manfried worried his lip. “Can’t have that. Maybe we oughta bury it?”

“Sound enough, though I reckon the fire would suit it better.”

“That’d mean touchin it, though, to carry it back to camp,” Manfried pointed out.

“Could carry it on a stick.”

“Stick might break and it’d land on your hand.”

“You’s keen on just that a minute ago.”

Manfried grunted, still curious whether it would feel soft or bristly.

“We can start a blaze here, burn it up,” Hegel suggested.

“Might not burn.”

“What?!”

“Think bout it. Demons crawl up out a Hell, so stands to reason their skins don’t burn. Otherwise they’d never get out a Hell in the first place.”

“If it’s a demon,” said Hegel.

“What else you think it is?”

“Seems more like the thing that Viktor in Ostereich was talkin bout. Lou Garou, or some such,” Hegel ruminated.