Adriana Trigiani - Brava, Valentine

Gianluca’s lips travel down my neck, and I breathe from so deeply within my body, he stops to hold me. This is what it really means to be in love-this is the thing I’ve been waiting for, wondering about. I’ve been waiting to mean this much to someone.

Oh, this is a merry, merry, merry Christmas. No package, no present, no surprise of any kind could ever be this wonderful. And this night, this one, this particular moment, is for Gianluca, and for me-but it’s also for June Marie Lawton, who knew how to live.

I spritz Terre d’Hermès perfume on my neck.

I’m dressed for Christmas Eve, the Feast of the Seven Fishes at Tess’s house. I went with the silver lamé sheath I wore to Gram and Dominic’s wedding, this time, without the clutter of pearls. I’m tempted to throw them on. After all, Dad will read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens after supper, and I could be the sound effect when Marley’s chains rattle.

Gram and Dominic have been at Tess’s all day, preparing the scungilli, shrimp, octopus, lobster, white flounder, clams, and mussels for our feast.

Gianluca has gone out to run a final Christmas errand. Gabriel stands in my doorway.

“I want to give you your Christmas present.”

“Gabriel, you shouldn’t have.”

“Liar. Nobody likes a gift more than you. Come on. Grab a coat,” he instructs me.

I pull Gianluca’s dress coat from behind the door and throw it on. I pull the cashmere closely around me. It has the scent of him, so I pull it closer still.

“Follow me,” Gabriel says.

I follow Gabriel up the stairs to the roof.

“Okay, now stand over there,” he tells me. “By the wall. Then turn around.”

I shiver in the cold.

“This will only take a second.”

Gabriel goes to the wall in the roof’s alcove. As he returns from the corner, the roof fills with sound. With Frank Sinatra.

I put my hands to my face.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Rooftop Ambience. The Chairman of the Board, ladies and gentlemen,” Gabriel announces.

“I thought the roof was finished!”

“It wasn’t done till the installation of surround sound.”

“I love it! Thank you!”

Frank Sinatra’s voice pours out into the sky over Greenwich Village on this blue Christmas Eve. I look down onto Perry Street, with its pools of golden light from the street lamps, as last-minute shoppers make their way home, underscored by Sinatra, who sings them home to their destinations.

“I took all of Gram’s old albums and copied them on to CD’s, and then I made a program. Six hours of Sinatra on a loop. Hear that? It’s ‘Shake Down the Stars.’ Big hit for Frank in 1940. Real roof and sky music!”

“Gram is going to go crazy for this,” I say. “We only ever had an AM radio up here.” I run over to Gabriel and give him a big hug. “How can I thank you?”

“No matter what happens, you’ll always have Sinatra…Valentina.”

This is the first time Gabriel ever called me “Valentina.” And I’m going to pretend that I don’t know what he means, because then maybe what he is about to tell me won’t be true.

He takes a deep breath and looks at me. “We’re Tiffany candlesticks, you and me. The best of the best. But now it’s time to break up the pair. One of us has fallen in love. There’s only room for one man in this house.”

I close my eyes. It has to be twenty degrees on the roof, but I don’t notice the cold. I’m filled with the possibilities of the life that lies ahead for Gianluca and me.

“It had to happen someday,” Gabriel says softly. “And here it is. It couldn’t happen to a nicer girl. I’m happy for you.” Gabriel hugs me tightly.

“But you’re the best husband I ever had.”

“Well, maybe it’s time for me to go out there and find my own.” Gabriel sighs. “Now, come on. I hate rubbery scungilli-and it’s a long train haul to Jersey.”

The apartment buzzer rings on the roof.

“Is that what I think it is?”

He nods. “Yep. That’s the second part of my gift. I put a buzzer up here-for when you’re on the roof and you get company. No more running down two flights of stairs and just missing UPS.”

“You’re a genius! Gianluca must’ve forgotten his keys,” I say. I hit the buzzer to let him in.

“Works like a charm,” Gabriel says proudly.

“What am I going to do without you?”

“You’ll see me in the shop every day. I just won’t live here anymore. It’s time for me to go on Craigslist and find a deal. Somewhere close.”

“Please.” I hug him again. “Around the corner.”

“I’ll try. Now, I’m going to go and pack up the timbale. I will miss the kitchen. I love a workspace with a marble counter. Oh, well. New Year on the horizon and new beginnings. I’ll send Gianluca up.” Gabriel opens the screen door. “Kiss him to Sinatra. If you do, he’ll never leave.”

I turn up the sound system and wait. After a few moments, I hear him ascend the stairs.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs fills me with anticipation.

Then Bret appears in the doorway.

“Bret?”

Bret pushes through the door and comes to me. He is deeply upset. His face is red from the cold. It looks as though he’s been crying. “What’s the matter?”

“Mac and the girls are at her parents for Christmas Eve…,” he begins.

“Uptown?” I straighten the collar on his coat. He’s disheveled. A mess. He never has a hair out of place.

“81st Street.” He rubs his hands together. They are chapped from the cold. He must’ve been out walking for a long time.

“Why aren’t you there?” I ask.

“I couldn’t stay.” His eyes fill with tears.

“Why?” I ask. I take his freezing cold hands in mine to warm them.

“I pressed her, I guess. I had a gift for her. A sapphire bracelet…But she wouldn’t take it. She said that it’s over. Our marriage is over.” Tears begin to stream down his face. He looks like a boy, just like the boy I remember from Austin Street.

“Oh, Bret, it’s just the pressure of the holidays,” I tell him.

“No, it’s not the holidays. She’s in love with someone else.” He puts his hands on the wall and hangs his head. I throw my arms around his shoulders as he heaves and cries.

I’m stunned. Even though Bret confided that there were problems, I never thought they would lead to this . I thought they would work things through, that Mac would choose her ordered life over the chaos of starting over.

I think back to the summer, when Mackenzie stopped by, and right here on this very roof accused me of an affair with her husband. Now I realize that she already had made her mind up long before she climbed these stairs. She knew she was leaving him; she just needed an excuse to let go. Mackenzie wanted me to be the excuse. She already had someone new, and she wanted Bret to have someone too, so she could leave him without guilt.

“Oh, Bret. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do .” I pull him close to me and hold him as tightly as I can.

“There’s nothing you can do right now. It’s Christmas, and you’ve got the girls. You have to think of your girls,” I tell him.

After a few moments, Bret pulls away from me. “I’m going to go. I don’t know why I came here.”

“You can always come here. I’m here for you,” I promise him.

He looks around. Clearly, the man I knew, unflappable and strong, is breaking before my eyes. There’s a desperation to him now. Of course there is. The life he built is over.

“You have plans,” he says. “You have your family.”