Philip Pullman: The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ

‘And think about clothing. Look at the lilies in the field, how beautiful they are. Not even Solomon in all his splendour looked as glorious as a wild flower. And if God clothes the grass of the field like that, don’t you think he’ll take even more care of you? You with little faith! I’ve told you before: don’t behave like the Gentiles. They’re the ones who fret about things like that. So stop worrying about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.’

‘What should we do when we see someone else doing wrong?’ called out one man. ‘Should we try and put them straight?’

‘Who are you to judge anyone else?’ said Jesus. ‘You point out the speck in your neighbour’s eye, and you don’t notice the plank in your own. Take the plank out of your eye first, and then you can see to take the speck out of your neighbour’s.

‘And you need to see clearly when you look at what you’re doing. You need to think and get things right. You don’t give meat from sacrifices to the dogs – you might as well give a pearl necklace to a pig. Think what that means.’

‘Master, how do we know that all will be well?’ said one man.

‘You just ask, and it’ll be given to you. You just search, and you’ll find. You just knock, and the door will be opened. You don’t believe me? Consider this: is there a man or woman alive who, when their child asks for bread, gives them a stone? Of course not. And if you, sinners every one of you, know how to give nourishment to a child, think how much better your Father in heaven will know how to give good things to those who ask for them.

‘Now I’m going to stop talking soon, but there are a few more things you need to hear and remember. There are true prophets, and there are false prophets, and this is how to tell the difference: look at the fruits they bear. Do you gather grapes from a thorn bush? Do you look for figs among the thistles? Of course not, because a bad tree can’t bear good fruit, and a good tree doesn’t bear bad fruit. You will know true prophets and false prophets by the fruits they bear. And a tree that bears bad fruit is cut down in the end, and thrown on the fire.

‘And remember this: take the hard road, not the easy one. The road that leads to life is a hard one, and it passes through a narrow gate, but the road to destruction is easy, and the gate is broad. Plenty take the easy road; few take the hard one. Your job is to find the hard one, and go by that.

‘If you hear these words of mine, and act on them, you’ll be like a wise man who builds his house on a rock. The rain falls, the floods come, the winds howl and beat on the house, but it doesn’t fall, because it’s been founded on a rock. But if you hear my words and don’t act on them, you’ll be like a foolish man who builds his house on sand. And what happens when the rain falls and the floods come and the winds beat against it? The house falls down – and it falls with a great smash.

‘And this is the final thing I’ll say to you: do to others as you hope they would do to you.

‘This is the law and the prophets, this is everything you need to know.’

Christ watched as the crowd moved away, and listened to what they said.

‘He’s not like the scribes,’ said one.

‘He talks as if he knows things.’

‘I never heard straight talking like that before!’

‘That’s not the sort of waffle you get from the usual preachers. This man knows what he’s talking about.’

And Christ considered everything he’d heard that day, and pondered it deeply as he transcribed the words from his tablet on to a scroll; but he said nothing to anyone.

All this time John the Baptist had been captive in prison. King Herod Antipas really wanted to put him to death, but he knew that John was popular with the people, and he feared what they might do in response. Now the king’s wife – the one John had criticised him for marrying – was called Herodias, and she had a daughter called Salome. When the court was celebrating the king’s birthday Salome danced for him, and pleased everyone so much that Herod promised to give her whatever she asked for. Her mother prompted her, and she said, ‘I want the head of John the Baptist on a platter.’

Herod was privately dismayed. But he had promised in front of his guests, and he couldn’t back down; so he ordered the executioner to go to the prison and behead John at once. It was done, and the head was brought, just as Salome had demanded, on a platter. The girl gave it to Herodias. As for the Baptist’s body, his followers came to the prison and took it away to be buried.

Knowing how highly Jesus had regarded John, some of those followers of the Baptist came to Galilee and told him what had happened; and Jesus, wanting to be alone, went out in a boat by himself. No one knew where he had gone, but Christ let one or two people know, and soon the word got around. When Jesus came ashore in what he thought would be a lonely place, he found a great crowd waiting for him.

He felt sorry for them, and began to speak, and some people who were sick felt themselves uplifted by his presence, and declared themselves cured.

It was nearly evening, and Jesus’s disciples said to him, ‘This is the middle of nowhere, and all these people need to eat. Tell them to go away now, and find a village where they can buy food. They can’t stay here all night.’

Jesus said, ‘They don’t need to go away. As for food, what have you got between you?’

‘Five loaves and two fishes, master; nothing else.’

‘Give them to me,’ said Jesus.

He took the loaves and the fishes, and blessed them, and then said to the crowd, ‘See how I share this food out? You do the same. There’ll be enough for everyone.’

And sure enough, it turned out that one man had brought some barley cakes, and another had a couple of apples, and a third had some dried fish, and a fourth had a pocketful of raisins, and so on; and between them all, there was plenty to go round. No one was left hungry.

And Christ, watching it all and taking notes, recorded this as another miracle.

But Christ couldn’t follow Jesus everywhere. It would have attracted notice, and by this time he was sure he should remain very much in the background. Accordingly, he asked one of the disciples to tell him what happened when he wasn’t there keeping it quiet, of course.

‘There’s no need to tell Jesus about it,’ Christ told him. ‘But I’m keeping a record of his wise words and his marvellous deeds, and it would be a great help if I could rely on an accurate report.’

‘Who is this for?’ said the disciple. ‘It’s not for the Romans, is it? Or the Pharisees or the Sadducees?’

‘No, no. It’s for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Every kingdom has its historian, or how would we know of the great deeds of David and Solomon? That’s my role: just a simple historian. Will you help me?’

The disciple agreed, and soon he had something to tell. It happened when Jesus was away from Galilee, travelling in the coastal region between Tyre and Sidon. Evidently his fame had already reached those parts, because a woman from that district, a Canaanite, heard he was passing by and came running to cry out:

‘Have mercy on me, son of David!’

She addressed him like that despite the fact that she was a Gentile. However, it made little impression on Jesus, who took no notice of her, though the woman’s cries began to annoy the disciples who were with him.

‘Send her away, master!’ they said.

Finally he turned to her and said, ‘I haven’t come to speak to the Gentiles. I’m here for the house of Israel, not for you.’