Philip Pullman: The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ

‘You keep saying “we”,’ said Jesus. ‘Are you one of these miracle-workers, then?’

‘Not just me alone, but you and me together!’

‘Never.’

‘But think of what an effect it would have if someone were to go to the top of the temple, say, and to step off into the air, full of faith that God would do what it says in the psalms, and send his angels to catch him. “He has commanded his angels to guard you wherever you go, and they will hold you in their arms so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.” Just imagine-’

‘Is that all you’ve learned from the scriptures? To put on a sensational show for the credulous? You’d do better to forget about that and attend to the real meaning of things. Remember what the scripture says: “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” ’

‘What is the real meaning of things, then?’

‘God loves us like a father, and his Kingdom is coming soon.’

Christ came a little closer.

‘But that’s exactly what we can demonstrate with miracles,’ he said. ‘And the Kingdom is a test for us, I’m sure: we must help to bring it about. Of course, God could lift a finger and it would happen at once. But think how much better it would be if the way were prepared by men like the Baptist, men like you – think of the advantages if there were a body of believers, a structure, an organisation already in place. I can see it so clearly, Jesus! I can see the whole world united in this Kingdom of the faithful – think of that! Groups of families worshipping together with a priest in every village and town, an association of local groups under the direction and guidance of a wise elder in the region, the regional leaders all answering to the authority of one supreme director, a kind of regent of God on earth! And there would be councils of learned men to discuss and agree on the details of ritual and worship, and even more importantly, to rule on the intricacies of faith, to declare what was to be believed and what was to be shunned. I can see the princes of the nations – I can see Caesar himself having to bow down before this body, and offer obeisance to God’s own Kingdom in place here in the world. And I can see the laws and the proclamations issuing from the centre to the furthest edges of the world. I can see the good rewarded and the wicked punished. I can see missionaries going out bearing the word of God to the darkest and most ignorant lands, and bringing every living man and woman and child into the great family of God – yes, Gentiles as well as Jews. I can see all doubt vanquished, I can see all dissent swept away, I can see the shining faces of the faithful gazing up in adoration on every side. I can see the majesty and the splendour of the great temples, the courts, the palaces devoted to the glory of God, and I can see this whole wonderful creation lasting for generation after generation and for thousand years after thousand years! Isn’t this a vision worth marvelling at, Jesus? Isn’t this something to work for with every drop of blood in our bodies? Won’t you join me in this? Won’t you be a part of this most wonderful work and help bring the Kingdom of God to earth?’

Jesus looked at his brother.

‘You phantom,’ he said, ‘you shadow of a man. Every drop of blood in our bodies? You have no blood to speak of; it would be my blood that you’d offer up to this vision of yours. What you describe sounds like the work of Satan. God will bring about his Kingdom in his own way, and when he chooses. Do you think your mighty organisation would even recognise the Kingdom if it arrived? Fool! The Kingdom of God would come into these magnificent courts and palaces like a poor traveller with dust on his feet. The guards would spot him at once, ask for his papers, beat him, throw him out into the street. “Be on your way,” they’d say, “you have no business here.” ’

‘I’m sorry you see it like that,’ said Christ. ‘But I wish you’d let me persuade you otherwise. It’s exactly that passion, that impeccable moral sense, that purity of yours that would be so useful. I know we’ll get some things wrong to start with. Won’t you come and help get them right? There’s no one alive who could guide us better than you. Isn’t it better to compromise a little, to come inside and improve something, than to stay on the outside and offer nothing but criticism?’

‘One day someone will say those words to you, and your belly will convulse with sickness and shame. Now leave me alone. Worship God – that’s the only task you need to think about.’

Christ left Jesus in the wilderness, and went home to Nazareth.

Joseph was very old by this time, and when he saw Christ coming into the house he mistook him for his firstborn, and struggled to his feet to embrace him.

‘Jesus!’ he said. ‘My dear boy! Where have you been? I’ve missed you so much! It was bad of you to go away like that without telling me.’

Christ said, ‘It’s not Jesus, Father, it’s me, your son Christ.’

Joseph stood back and said, ‘But where is Jesus? I miss him. I think it’s a shame that he’s not here. Why did he go away?’

‘He is in the wilderness, doing what he wants to do,’ said Christ.

Joseph was saddened, because he thought he might never see Jesus again. The wilderness was full of dangers; anything could happen there.

But a little later Joseph heard a rumour in the town that Jesus had been seen on his way home, and he ordered a great feast to be prepared to celebrate his homecoming. Christ was in the synagogue when he heard about this, and he hurried out and reproached his father.

‘Father, why are you preparing a feast for Jesus? I have been at home all the time, I’ve never disobeyed your commands, and yet you’ve never prepared a feast for me. Jesus walked away with no warning, he left you with work to do, he has no thought for his family or anyone else.’

‘Well, you’re at home all the time,’ said Joseph. ‘All that I have is yours. But when someone comes home after being away, it’s right and proper to prepare a feast in celebration.’

And when Jesus was still some way off, Joseph hurried out to greet him. He embraced him and kissed him warmly. Jesus was moved by the old man’s gesture, and said, ‘Father, I’ve sinned against you; it was wrong of me to go away without telling you. I don’t deserve to be called your son.’

‘My dear son! I thought you were dead, and here you are, alive!’

And Joseph kissed him again, and put a clean robe around his shoulders and led him in to the feast. Christ greeted his brother warmly, but Jesus looked at him as if he knew just what Christ had said to his father. No one else had heard it, and no one saw the look that passed between them.

Not long afterwards came news that John the Baptist had been arrested by order of King Herod Antipas, the son of the Herod who had ordered the massacre of the children in Bethlehem. The king had taken away the wife of his brother Philip and married her, in defiance of the law of Moses, and John had criticised him boldly. The king was angry, and ordered his arrest.

That seemed to be a signal for Jesus, and he began at once to preach and teach in Capernaum and the nearby towns around the Sea of Galilee. Like John, he warned people to repent of their sins, and told them that the Kingdom of God was very near and would be coming soon. Many people were impressed by his words, but some thought he was reckless, because the Roman authorities would not be pleased to hear such inflammatory words, and neither would the leaders of the Jews.

And soon Jesus began to attract followers. As he was walking along the shore of the lake one day he fell into conversation with two brothers, fishermen called Peter and Andrew, who were casting a net into the water.