Malena Lott - Dating da Vinci

“Uh, yeah. I don't need a diagram. Tab A goes into Slot B, repeat as necessary, thankyouverymuch.”

“What I mean is, once things get going, it kind of takes care of itself. The body almost goes into autopilot. Only some autopilots are a lot sexier than others.”

“Well, it did feel like if I hadn't stopped things at the wine festival or in the car that I could've gone through with it. If only…”

”… you didn't feel guilty about Joel.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, if Heaven weren't already as great as having sex every minute of the day, then he would be doing it, too. I once read orgasm is the closest thing we experience on earth to the feeling we'll have to the perfect bliss we'll feel in Heaven.”

“But you don't believe in Heaven. You believe in reincarnation.”

“It doesn't matter what I believe; it matters what you believe. And you believe in Heaven, and I do believe in bliss, so go for it.”

“A little piece of Heaven might be nice.”

“Or a lot of it. A whole lot of bliss.”

Bliss: a word missing from my personal vocabulary. What would it be like to have it back in my dictionary? To actually feel it?

“What about you? Gone blissing lately? You haven't shared, which means you either haven't or you're keeping secrets.”

Anh shrugged her shoulders. “I swore I wouldn't tell you.”

“This can't be good. Maybe I don't wanna know.”

“I had a thing the other night…”

“Great. You're telling me anyway. Fine, you had a mover/shaker thing?”

“Exactly. And who was there, but Michael.”

“As in my ex-brother-in-law Michael?”

“Mr. Republican Himself. So we have a few drinks. You know how vodka tonics do me.”

“No. Don't even say it.” I threw down the rake and covered my ears. “You slept with Michael and now neither of you are going to go to the boys' games with me, and it'll be all awkward and weird, and oh, Jesus, Anh, couldn't you stick to a safe glass of Chardonnay?”

“I'd had a very bad day. My stock dropped.”

“And that makes you sleep with people you don't like?”

“No, it makes me drink vodka tonics with extra lime. And sometimes it leads to sleeping with someone I don't like. But it's not that I dislike Michael as a person. He's a good-looking enough man.”

“Who fundamentally disagrees with everything you stand for.”

“Well, he has bought stock in my company, so he can't be all bad, political, social and spiritual views aside.”

“What other view is there?”

“The strictly physical view. Nice smile. Nice body. Nice voice. Nice hands.”

“I've never noticed his hands.”

“That's because they haven't been all over your body.”

I cringed. “ Ewww. Okay. I still think of him as a brother, so you can leave the deets out of your conquest this time.”

“He's an amazing lover. Quite aggressive.”

“Must be why he and Rachel stayed married so long. So what does this mean? You're not going to start dating him, are you?”

“I can't imagine what we'd possibly do other than what we've already done, which is fine by me. There are four basic human needs. Do you know what they are?”

“I have a feeling you're going to tell me sex is one of them.”

“Food, drink, sleep, and sex. And not exactly in that order, either. I'll admit Michael wasn't my first choice, though. I had a drink with Cortland before he had to jaunt off to some play of Zoe's.”

“Ohmigod. You're the reason Michael was late to Zoe's play?”

“He made it in time for the third act, didn't he? Besides, I think our first two acts were far more interesting.”

I shook my head. “No wonder he was in such a good mood when he arrived.”

Anh smiled proudly. “Michael was in a good mood? Of course he was in a good mood, what am I saying? And now that I think about it, all Cortland did was ask questions about you before he took off.”

I straightened my shoulders. “He did? What sort of questions?”

“About you and da Vinci, for one thing. If you've dated since you lost Joel, how it happened, how you're coping with the boys. He didn't mention your sister once.”

“He just wants to get to know her family better is all. I think she might be getting serious about him. They're all coming here for dinner on Sunday. It's Dad's birthday and I get birthday duty.”

We bagged up the leaves, and I tried to get Cortland out of my mind. I don't know why I was looking forward to seeing him again. So my sister was dating a nice, sweet, funny guy who asks about me. Big deal.

Anh placed the bags in the trashcan and we went inside. My neighborhood coffee was in thirty minutes, just enough time to shower and put on the coffee and rolls.

“Here's the number you asked for,” Anh said, handing me a business card. The chakra specialist. I couldn't believe I was going to see a yogi. “You'll thank me later. I can't wait to see what the new and improved Ramona looks like. Scratch that. What she feels like.”

After Anh left, I peeled off my clothes and stepped into the shower and began humming a favorite song of Joel and mine: Sonny and Cher's “I Got You, Babe. ” Sometimes I thought the shower hitting my scalp was like pushing the on button on the stereo in my mind. I only sang Sonny and Cher in the shower, and even then, I sang badly but with fervor.

When I paused to grab the shampoo, the song went on without me. Through the shower glass, I saw a frame, da Vinci's frame, as he peeled off his shirt and hummed the song I didn't even know he knew. “Is okay to shower now, Mona Lisa?” he asked.

I instinctively covered my body parts, which was ridiculous since he obviously meant to get in with me. The very naked me. I sucked in my stomach, stuck out my chest and smoothed my hair back. “Come on in, da Vinci.”

When is a shower more than a shower? When you share it with someone else. Especially a someone with a hard, wet body pressed up against yours, thigh to thigh, chest to chest, arms wrapped around each other's slick, soapy bodies. And then? Lips on lips. Lips on collar bone. Lips on breast, stomach, thighs. Anh was right. Enlightenment can come from the simplest things. We hadn't even gotten to actual sex yet, and I was feeling the out of body experience that came with the transition from becoming to being.

I wasn't thinking of anything while we were in the shower, mind you. It was better than getting back on a bike, one thing leading to another and I would have most certainly let nature take its course if it hadn't been for Zoya and Gabriella both calling my name in their thick accents beyond my bedroom door. “Ramona, we're here.”

“Shit.”

“No stop,” da Vinci said as he continued to kiss me.

I began to panic. “Didn't you hear that? My neighbors are here. I can't believe we've been in here thirty minutes already.”

“Just five more minutes,” da Vinci said, and as much as I would've liked to have gone through with it, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it knowing my neighbors could walk in on us any minute. They had no idea I had company. Why would they?

“Here's the plan. I go out first. You wait five minutes, get dressed. Fully dressed, da Vinci. And walk out the front door and around to the studio. Okay?”

Da Vinci scrunched his brow but said okay. “But shower nice, no?”

I kissed him one last time, hard on the lips. “Yes. Shower very nice.”

Gabriella, Zoya, and Simone were already eating cinnamon rolls they had heated themselves when I joined them.

Zoya was complaining, her hands flying everywhere as she spoke. “I'm tired of baby-trying,” she said. “Used to sex two times a week. Now sex every night. Zoya don't need baby that bad.”

Gabriella, who had five children, reassured her. “Just get pregnant, and you'll get sex much less often. He'll be afraid to hurt the baby and after baby comes, you'll get sex hardly ever.”