Tibor Fischer: Under the Frog

‘Did we kill too many? Not enough?’ asked Kurucz speaking apropos of the AVO and the Party. ‘They always seem to find replacements. Quislings, shits, like hope, spring eternal.’ Kurucz had done a spell of military service at the border; he offered to take Gyuri through a very green part of it.

Elek, bored in the flat and not eager to find out if he had a job to go to at the hospital, greeted István warmly when he appeared.

‘Have you seen Gyuri? I’m getting worried. I managed to buy his favourite cakes. Can you imagine in the middle of all this, the patisserie’s back at work?’

István sighed at Gyuri’s untidiness. ‘He’s gone,’ he said. That November there was no need to say more.

‘Just as he was getting interesting,’ remarked Elek.

People got off the train at different points once it reached Western Hungary, depending on how they saw their escape. There were families with two, three or even four children and innumerable suitcases, solitary voyagers, couples just carrying each other’s hands, and even a farmer who had voiced intentions of trying to smuggle his prize pig out. There was an atmosphere of a grim holiday excursion.

Kurucz seemed to know what he was doing, although well on the way to being dead. This, at least, saved Gyuri some thinking. He couldn’t be bothered to be afraid; the events had quelled his terror, if at great cost. They walked slowly towards the border, warily appraising any other figures, most of whom shunned them with as much alacrity and distance as they did. The plan was to get within a kilometre or so of the border, wait till dark, then move.

There was a thin carpet of snow. Why did it have to be so cold? Gyuri had thought he would remain unmoved by his circumstances but the cold was coming through loud and clear. He wasn’t at all hungry. Nothing like death to dispel appetite; he couldn’t even imagine wanting to eat. He would have happily traded some cold for hunger. However, he couldn’t really complain. Kurucz, who had so much more material to work with, hadn’t grumbled once.

‘They’ve taken up the mines, haven’t they?’ asked Gyuri almost as an afterthought, recalling that as an act of friendliness towards Austria, an announcement had been made that most of the fortifications and minefields would be removed.

‘Yes, the minefields should have been taken up,’ said Kurucz, continuing, ‘but can you tell me one thing that’s ever been done properly in this country?’

Towards dusk, according to Kurucz, they were in sight of Austria. There were just trees and snow on all sides. Austria looked remarkably like Hungary. Waiting in the woods, it was so chilling that Gyuri lost touch with several extremities. Circling around to prevent himself completely freezing up, Gyuri stumbled across three bodies, lightly covered with snow: two women, one boy. His emotions, he discovered, were as numb as his fingers.

The moon was fullish, which wasn’t very encouraging. But, probably because of the cold, they could see the huge light of fires where shadowy sentinels of unknown nationality were gathered, beacons which drew them away. Gyuri and Kurucz moved very unhurriedly, very carefully, but still tripped up and stumbled a lot on a surprisingly uneven border. They were especially circumspect when they reached an open strip which was presumably the former minefield. Although his feet had become very uncommunicative, somehow Gyuri suddenly felt there was something unfield-like under his right foot. He seized up completely.

Eventually, in a tiptoeing whisper, Kurucz, anxiety and anger split fifty-fifty, asked ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. I think I just trod on a mine.’ Gyuri had deduced by the thin light that he was standing on what resembled an unearthed mine, finally, he walked on, surmising that if the mine was going to explode it would have already done so. Soviet rubbish.

They found a barn. It was no warmer than outside, but it at least gave them the possibility of believing it was. Gyuri spent a few hours in attempted sleep, quivering with cold and misery. As soon as there was a suspicion of dawn, he went out to piss. He could hardly find his dick, it had been so reduced by the cold.

‘Right. Let’s find somewhere warm,’ said Kurucz as soon as there was enough light to navigate by. Looking back, Gyuri could see that they were out, because of a faraway row of guard-towers behind them. He was out. Suddenly, unexpectedly, he started to cry. He walked half backwards, as best he could, so that Kurucz wouldn’t see.

Tears, in teams, abseiled down his face.