Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

Nate started to carve the turkey and eyed the boys. “Who’d like a piece of skin?”

Asa half smiled, remembering all the times he and Isaac had stood by Nate’s side when he was carving, waiting for him to offer the crisp juicy morsels that melted in their mouths. “That’s the best part!” they had exclaimed, trying not to appear too impolite as they jostled for the biggest piece.

Isaac reappeared and smiled. “I’ll force myself,” he said. He popped a piece into his mouth, and Nate looked at Asa, who shook his head. “No thanks.”

Only once during dinner did Noelle allow her eyes to meet Asa’s. She was seated at one end of the table while he was at the far end, beside Nate. When it happened, everyone was occupied passing food, and Noelle could tell that Nate was involved in a conversation with Samuel, so no one noticed when she paused to look at Asa, and no one noticed when he looked up and caught her eye.

No one, that is, except Sarah, who had been chatting with Isaac but happened to look up and see the furtive, unspoken exchange of intimacy that smoldered between them. She glanced quickly from one to the other, startled and unsure. It was nothing, she assured herself. How silly, s he chided herself. Noelle quickly averted her eyes and casually asked Isaac how school was going, and Sarah took a sip of her wine and tried to convince herself that she was mistaken.

After dinner, Asa helped clear the table. He tried to convince his mother to go in and enjoy the fire, that he would help Noelle clean up, but she would have none of it. So Asa silently dried dishes while Noelle and Sarah chatted, and all the while, he tried to think of another way to be alone with Noelle. Finally, he hung up the dish towel and held out dessert plates as Noelle placed the pies onto them. Sarah disappeared briefly to see if anyone wanted coffee.

Asa seized the moment. “Noelle, I need to see you alone,” he said quietly.

“We are alone,” she teased.

“Not like this.” He paused. “You know what I mean.”

She looked up and smiled. “Asa, I do know what you mean, and I would love to be alone with you-”

She was interrupted by Sarah pushing open the door again. “I guess everyone’s having coffee. Asa, why don’t you bring out the dessert?”

Asa clenched his jaw in frustration.

The fire crackled warmly as everyone relaxed. Isaac scraped his plate, set it on the coffee table, and leaned back on the couch. “I am absolutely stuffed,” he said, stretching out his legs.

“I hope you’re not too full to open your gift,” Nate said, setting down his coffee and looking under the tree. When Annie died, the boys had stopped hanging their stockings on the mantel. Instead, Nate had started a new tradition of thoughtfully selecting a new book for each of the boys. In the beginning, he had given them such classics as Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel and The Biggest Bear. But before long, he was choosing chapter books like Old Yeller and The Red Pony. In recent years, the selection had become even more sophisticated. Nate pulled a neatly wrapped gift from under the tree and handed it to Isaac; then he turned to search for Asa’s present. Isaac waited until Asa had his before he opened up one end and carefully slipped out a new hardcover. It was John Updike’s latest effort, Rabbit, Run.

“Thanks, Uncle Nate,” Isaac said. He held up the book to show his parents, and a magazine clipping fell from the book.

“You’re welcome,” Nate replied, smiling. “You’re not going to believe this, but John Updike was at the Red Sox game we went to. In fact, he was sitting near us!” He paused. “I had no idea myself until I saw that essay in the New Yorker .”

He nodded toward the floor, and Isaac picked up the article and read the headline out loud: “ ‘Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu.’ ”

“I don’t know if I would recognize him,” Nate continued, “but in the essay he says he was sitting right behind the dugout!”

“I don’t think I would have recognized him either,” Samuel said, shaking his head, “but that’s pretty neat.”

“I hope you like the book,” Nate added.

“Oh, I’m sure I will,” Isaac replied.

All eyes turned to Asa, and he smiled nervously as he slipped his book from its wrapping. He turned it over to look at the cover, and his heart stopped. He stared at the familiar illustration of a boy standing near a tree. It was the same book he had picked up in Boston on the morning after the ball game. John Knowles’s A Separate Peace, Asa now knew, was about the betrayal of a friendship. Asa’s heart pounded-was Nate trying to tell him something?

“Th-thank you,” he stammered, looking up and forcing a smile. He ran his hand over the cover, almost as if trying to wipe it away.

“You’re welcome,” he began. “I haven’t read it, but I thought it looked like something you’d enjoy.”

Asa held it up for his parents and Noelle to see and then feigned unfamiliarity by leafing through the pages.

Nate drew attention away from Asa as he cleared his throat. He had his hands behind his back, and he smiled mischievously as he approached Noelle. “I have one more gift,” he said. “It’s actually a surprise for everyone.” He handed Noelle an elegantly wrapped scroll-shaped package. Noelle looked up at him questioningly and hesitated before slowly untying the ribbon. As she did, the delicate tissue paper fell away, and a festive Christmas stocking unfurled in her lap. The bottom of the stocking was made of soft red felt, and the top, which was folded over, was pure white.

Noelle’s heart raced. She looked at Nate and tried to convey her startled surprise-her desire for him to go no further-but Nate was not looking at her. He was looking at the hooks on the mantel. “It’s definitely been a while since a stocking has hung on this mantel,” he began, “and we don’t yet know what name will be embroidered on this one but…” He turned around and smiled.

Sarah drew in an astonished breath, realizing what he was trying to say. “Oh, my! Oh, how wonderful!” She turned to Noelle and hugged her. “I’m so happy for you! How’re you feeling? When are you due?” Sarah was absolutely beaming, as if the news were her own, and she stood to give Nate a hug. “Congratulations!” she said, taking his hands.

Nate smiled, and Samuel caught on too. He stood to shake Nate’s hand and slapped him on the back.

“Hot damn!” Samuel said. “You see, I told you miracles happen!”

Isaac also stood. “That’s such good news!”

Noelle glanced quickly at Asa. His face had turned ashen, and he was staring into the fire. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, s he thought. This isn’t the way I wanted it to be. Her heart reached out to him, but he refused to look at her.

Instead he stared blindly at the flames as a rushing fury of jealousy and disbelief swept through him. Did I really think she didn’t sleep with him? Who was I fooling? Only myself! He could not bring himself to look at her. His hands were trembling. I have been such a fool. I should tell them everything. How would that make her feel? Why should I suffer this madness and misery alone? Who the hell cares what happens now? It’s over. It’s just over. Asa’s vision was blurry with pent-up rage.

It seemed like an eternity, but it was only seconds before Sarah’s voice penetrated the darkness that had enveloped him and brought him to his senses. “Asa, isn’t this good news?”

Asa looked up and quickly stood to shake Nate’s hand. “Congratulations,” he said with a nod.