Nan Rossiter - The Gin and Chowder Club

“You’d better go.” Noelle nodded after Isaac.

“I will,” he said, waiting.

“Asa, I don’t know if I can get away, and honestly, I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” She paused and looked around. Then she looked in his eyes. “You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you- all of you,” she whispered with a sad smile. “And how much I would love to be with you again, especially tonight, but then what?” She shook her head and softly murmured, “ ‘More dark and dark our woes…’ ”

Asa closed his eyes and tried to control his endless roller-coaster ride of emotions.

Noelle put her hand on his shoulder, but then she withdrew it. “It’s so hard to stand here and not touch you,” she whispered. “Asa, please understand, if I don’t come, it’s not because I don’t love you-it’s because I do .”

He looked into her eyes. “Okay,” he said. He finished his drink and turned to go down the stairs.

After the sun went down, an autumn chill swept in. Gradually, the adults pulled on sweaters and migrated inside to warm themselves with another bowl of chowder. The sudden change in temperature surprised everyone and made them realize that the hazy summer days would soon be just a memory. In the cool night air, even the incessant scratching of crickets and katydids slowed. Isaac and Asa had built a fire in the outdoor fireplace, and the kids were all warming their hands and talking about their school plans when Sarah called them in for cake.

Isaac helped light the candles, and Sarah carried the cake in as everyone gathered around to sing. Noelle watched Asa’s face in the warm glow of the candles. She looked around at the group of friends who circled him, and her heart ached as she watched Nate across the way, smiling and singing too.

When the song ended, Isaac teased, “Wish for something good!”

Asa hesitated, looked up, and caught Noelle’s eye. He gave her a quick half-smile and blew out the candles. In the darkness, Noelle knew what he had wished for, and with all her heart, she wished it could come true.

Cake was being handed around the room when there was a tentative knock at the front door. Samuel opened it and found two pretty young women standing there.

“Hi, I’m Kate. Is Isaac here?”

Samuel invited them in. “He sure is,” he said, reaching out his hand. “I’m his dad.”

The taller of the two girls took his hand and then introduced her friend. “This is Jess. Isaac told us you were having a party tonight… if we wanted to come.”

“We are. Come right in and I’ll find him.”

The girls came in, and Sarah greeted them with a piece of cake. Asa looked over and immediately knew who the taller girl was. She was slender and very pretty. She had long dark hair and was wearing a Boston College sweater. Isaac had described her to a tee. Asa chuckled to himself and wondered just how his brother would handle this one.

Isaac came in, caught Asa’s eye, and rubbed his forehead in dismay.

“Hi, Kate. I never expected you to make the trip all the way out here.”

Kate smiled. “Well, you’ve talked so much about it, we just thought it would be fun.” She hesitated. “Do you remember Jess?” she asked, motioning to her friend.

“Of course.” He turned to Jess and smiled. “I’m glad you could come. I see my mom has already given you some cake. Would you like something to drink?” He motioned to Asa to come over. Isaac introduced them to his brother and then retreated to the kitchen for drinks. Asa tried to strike up a conversation, although he wanted no part of his brother’s charade. He didn’t want to see Jen’s feelings hurt, and at the moment, it seemed inevitable. When Isaac finally returned with drinks, Asa excused himself and ducked out to the porch. With the adults inside and most of the kids back down by the fire, it was deserted.

Asa looked up at the deep blue canvas, splashed with thousands of glittering sparkles, and remembered the countless hours he and Isaac had spent peering into their father’s telescope and learning the stars’ stories. Asa knew them all. He looked up and found his birthday constellation, recalling the first time Samuel had pointed it out. He could almost hear his father’s voice. “The Archer is your constellation, Asa. The best time to view it is always on your birthday.” His father put his hand on his shoulder and pointed. “Do you see the stars that look like the Big Dipper, only upside down?” He pictured himself as a nodding six-year-old. “That is called the Milk Dipper, and the other name for the Archer is Sagittarius. Do you see the three stars in a curved line that look like a bow?”

He had nodded again and then shouted excitedly, “And, Dad, the star to the right makes the arrow!” Samuel laughed, and while they watched, a small bright star had suddenly raced across the sky. “Look, Dad, a shooting star!” Asa had shouted.

Samuel had nodded. “God must have sent that for you, Asa!”

Asa smiled at the memory, and it suddenly occurred to him to pray-instead of wish-for what he wanted. But how could he? He had deliberately turned his back on God. He had knowingly, willingly, forsaken everything his parents had taught him, and he hadn’t cared about the outcome. Nate had given him an amazing birthday present, and in a heartbeat, he would still betray him again. What kind of person have I become?

The screen door opened quietly, and Noelle came out, pulling a sweater around her shoulders.

“I thought I might find you out here. Aren’t you cold?”

“No, but I’ll keep you warm.”

She smiled. “We’re heading home soon, and I wanted to be sure to get your address at school.” She had a piece of paper and pencil ready.

Asa suddenly hated the word we. “I don’t know it offhand,” he said, “but I can get it. Are you leaving right now?”

“Pretty soon.”

Asa didn’t say anything but looked back at the stars. He wished time would just stop right now. He couldn’t bear the thought of tomorrow-and all of the endless, empty days to follow.

“I’ll wait for you later on the beach. Do you remember the path?” Asa looked around, reached for Noelle’s hand, and drew her into a dark corner of the porch.

“Don’t wait-” she began, but he pulled her close and kissed her.

Asa ached for so much more, and in that moment, Noelle would have loved to let him, but the shadows couldn’t be trusted. Instead, they offered only torment and sadness.

Suddenly, a sound came from the kitchen, and Noelle quickly pulled away, her heart pounding with fear. Asa leaned back against the wall, closed his eyes, and clenched his fists in frustration and despair.

“Please don’t go,” Isaac pleaded as Jen came out onto the porch.

“Isaac, I’m really tired.” She paused. “Maybe we can talk tomorrow.” She turned and headed down the stairs.

Isaac watched her walk away and shook his head. He saw Asa and Noelle standing there. “Asa, if you’re smart, you’ll just stay away from all women,” he said, letting the screen door slam. The irony was not lost on his brother.

Noelle stepped back into the shadow and gently wiped a tear from Asa’s cheek. He reached up, took her hands in his, and pulled them down to his sides.

“Be careful,” he said sadly. “That’s what got you in trouble last time.”

“I know,” she said with a smile. She paused. “Asa… please remember everything I said-I meant every word.”

Asa returned her sad smile and let go of her hands. “I’ll get the address.”

“There you are,” Nate said. He was standing in the kitchen, talking to Sarah when they came in.