Nan Rossiter: The Gin and Chowder Club

Now, Asa looked at the open window of the lantern room and thought of Noelle. She had stopped by that morning to drop off the old metal tub Nate had borrowed the previous summer. Asa had been the only one at home. He closed his eyes and pictured her standing in the doorway…

“I can’t stay,” she had said.

“I know.”

“It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too.”

He had walked her to her car, and she had tried to think of something more to say. “I see they painted the lighthouse.”

“Yeah, they’ve been working on that.”

“You know, I’ve never been inside a lighthouse.”

Asa had looked up at her in disbelief. “How can that be? Didn’t you grow up in Maine?”

“Yes, but not coastal Maine.”

He had reached for her hand. “C’mon, you have to see the inside.”

“I can’t…” She had pulled back, and he had let go. Seeing the disappointment in his eyes, she had relented. “Okay… but only for a minute.”

“Only for a minute,” Asa had agreed, smiling.

They had walked down the worn path, and Asa had jiggled the lock and pushed open the heavy door. When they reached the lantern room, Noelle had looked in amazement at the mechanics that created the light.

“It’s a Fresnel lens,” Asa had explained, showing her how the light was reflected. She had listened attentively and watched for a while before walking over to the window to look out at the sea. Asa had looked at the slender curve of her body outlined under her thin sundress and moved behind her. He had reached over her shoulder to push the window open, and the ocean breeze had rushed in and swept back her hair. Asa had slipped his arms around her, breathing in the lovely scent of her body, and Noelle had put her hands on his arms and closed her eyes. She had felt him against her and thought again about how easy it would be…

“Asa…”

“Don’t…”

They had stood silently together. The only movement in the room had been the rotation of the reflecting light and the breeze that whispered in to cool their skin.

Finally, Noelle had broken the silence. “Asa, if you only knew how much I would love to be with you.” She turned to him and searched his eyes. “I’m so sorry… I should never have come.” Asa had looked away, and Noelle had reached up and gently turned his face back to her, searching his eyes. “Asa, I would love to lie beside you… Don’t you see? But then what? What about Nate? I love him too. Asa, please, help me not let this happen…”

Tears burned at Asa’s eyes. “Noelle… don’t you know?” He struggled with the words. “I would do anything you ask-anything at all-even if what you ask is not letting this happen…”

Noelle had leaned up and pressed her lips against his flushed cheek. Asa had closed his eyes and kept his hands stiffly at his sides…

“So, a bonfire with the fellows, is that it?” Samuel asked, interrupting Asa’s thoughts.

Isaac winked at his brother. “That’s the plan, Dad,” he replied.

“Well, you boys know the rules-if you have any alcoholic beverages at your bonfire, stay out of the water,” Samuel warned. “I was a fellow at a bonfire once, you know.” He paused. “Are you going to hang around here for a while? I know everyone is looking forward to seeing you.”

“Of course, Dad,” said Asa. “We wouldn’t miss out on chowder.”

Samuel smiled and drummed his fingers on his glass. He looked his boys over. “Well, I hope you’ll change out of those rag-tag shorts and T-shirts.”

“Yup,” said Isaac. “I might even take a shower.”

“Sure you want to do that?” Asa teased. “It hasn’t been a week yet.”

Isaac gave his younger brother a smirk and walked toward the open door. Sarah Coleman was standing there with a grocery bag in her arms.

“Sam, I have the French bread and the shrimp if you want to come in and make cocktail sauce,” she said. “Asa, maybe you could slice the bread.”

“Yes, my dear,” Samuel replied, easing himself up from the swing and walking over to freshen his drink.

“May I get you a cocktail… or would you like the whole rooster?”

Sarah smiled. “A small glass of white wine would be good.”

Asa watched his parents. He was always amazed by the easy, warm comfort of their relationship. He wondered if he would ever know another so well… and if another could ever possibly know him. He thought of Noelle, and his heart ached for what could never be. He shook his head and went into the kitchen to slice the bread. Behind him, the summer sky was now a cloudless blue.

Nate peered in the bedroom doorway. “Almost ready, hon?”

“Almost.” Noelle glanced in the mirror and sighed. Why did God create wrinkles?

Nate stepped into the room, wrapped his arms around her, and looked at her reflection too. She was slender, and her dark brown hair hung just past her shoulders. Her smooth skin was tan against the coral color of her linen sundress. She looked amazing and lovely, and Nate wondered how he hadn’t noticed when he used to see her in her starched white nurse’s uniform.

“How’d I get so lucky?” he pondered out loud.

Noelle put her hands on his arms and remembered how Asa had felt standing behind her.

She pushed the thought from her mind and whispered, “I’m the lucky one.”

Nate closed his eyes and held her. The silver in his sideburns had long ago started spreading into the neatly clipped hair above his ears. Noelle had told him that it made him look distinguished, but he wasn’t convinced. She continued to stroke his arms, pulling on his soft hair. She smelled his aftershave and felt a rush of warmth between her legs. Looking at Nate’s head bent down over her shoulder, she thought about the events that had brought them to this place. Her eyes were drawn to the reflection of the bedroom behind them. She studied the Shaker headboard and the blue and white country quilt that was tucked neatly into its oak frame. She had found the bed in an antique shop, and it had fit perfectly between the two windows that overlooked the ocean. The walls were painted a soft sea green and were offset by creamy white trim and wainscoting that reached halfway up the walls. Noelle had chosen the colors and repainted the room soon after she and Nate had married. Even so, the memory of another life-Annie’s life-still lingered. A gentle breeze drifted in through the windows and made the gingham curtains billow.

“We should go,” Nate murmured.

“Mmm-hmm,” she agreed, still lost in thought.

Annie, Nate’s first wife, had died in this room. She had fought her long illness valiantly until its very end. As Annie’s nurse, Noelle had witnessed the fight. She had witnessed the love and the heartache, and after Annie’s passing, she had watched as grief and despair had consumed the brokenhearted man who was left behind. Witnessing all this and offering what comfort she could, Noelle Ryan couldn’t help falling in love with Nathaniel Shepherd.

Blinded by sadness, however, Nate had barely noticed Noelle’s presence, much less her striking features. It wasn’t until they ran into each other some six months later that Nate noticed how beautiful she was. He had been going out of the grocery store as she was coming in. They had stopped to chat, and Nate had unexpectedly asked her if she had time for a cup of coffee. Noelle had obliged. They’d gone to a little outdoor café and continued their conversation, which Noelle had kept light. When they’d finished, Nate had leaned over to pick up his bag, and it had ripped open. Melted ice cream had dripped all over his shoes. “Guess I forgot what I had,” Nate had said, laughing. It had felt good to laugh. After saying good-bye, he realized that he hadn’t thought of Annie once during the conversation. It was a much-needed respite for his weary soul. Two weeks after their chance meeting, Samuel encouraged Nate to invite Noelle to one of their famous gatherings. He did, and by the end of the evening, it was evident to all present that Nate was smitten with Noelle, despite their eighteen-year age difference.