Francine Rivers - Her Daughter’s Dream

Dawn drove to the base to fill out the paperwork for her ID, then went on a self-guided base tour of grave sites of famous Indians warriors-Geronimo and Kiowa Chief Satanta and Comanche Chief Quanah Parker.

She stopped at a large home improvement center on the way back to the apartment and bought a computer table kit, screwdriver, and small hammer. The store put on workshops for basic carpentry and home repairs. Unfortunately, most were on Saturdays. She asked if they had anything during the week; the clerk said no, but showed her a wall display of how-to books.

Jason called that night. “What did you do today?”

“Explored Lawton and the base. The wind sure blows here.” She told him about the Indian Wars, the Chiricahua Apaches. “Did you know Geronimo is buried on Fort Sill?”

Lying alone in bed that night, Dawn stared at the ceiling. During the day, she could keep busy and not feel so alone. When the night rolled in around her, the wind whistling outside, the loneliness blew in and stayed. She imagined Jason lying on his bunk in a barracks full of other soldiers. Bunching up Jason’s pillow, she hugged it close.

Seven weeks later, she packed up and followed Jason again.

Dear Granny,

Jason and I are now settled in on-base housing at “Fort Lost in the Woods,” Missouri. Jason has been told he’ll be here for “a while,” though that can mean anything from a few weeks to a few years in the Army. Wherever Jason is needed, we’ll go.

Driving on snowy roads is an experience. I wouldn’t want to drive cross-country this time of year! There’d have to be a good reason! We are looking forward to a white Christmas, though we will miss you and the rest of our family.

We looked for apartments in Devil’s Elbow, Hooker, Gospel Ridge (don’t you just love those names!) but decided to choose on-base housing. A two-bedroom, one-bathroom unit opened up. Our little house shares a wall with Ricardo and Alicia Martinez and little Lalo, their adorable two-year-old. Alicia had him outside making snow angels.

Jason sold his old Honda, and we used the money to buy a secondhand bedroom set, an “antique” round oak table with claw feet, and two chairs. We also bought a new sofa and television, which we will pay off quickly now that I have a part-time job at the FLW hospital…

1994

Dawn checked the calendar again, trying not to get her hopes up. When they moved into this little house a year ago, Jason had taken her birth control pills out of the medicine cabinet, looked her square in the eye, and with a grin, tossed them into the bathroom wastebasket. She’d been ecstatic, and she’d expected to get pregnant right away. After six months, she tried not to obsess. They’d thought she might be pregnant once, but the test had come up negative. But each day for the past two weeks, her hopes had been slowly building again. It was time to tell Jason.

Jason came home for lunch, as he did every day. Dawn never got over how handsome he was in his Army combat uniform. He left his hat on the hall table, kissed her, and frowned. “You look awfully pale.”

“I’m fine. Just… have something on my mind, that’s all.” She smoothed mayonnaise onto one slice of bread and mustard on another, laid on two thick slices of bologna, tomato, purple onion, lettuce.

Jason sat waiting. “Well?”

“I wondered if you could run an errand for me on your way home tonight.” She put Jason’s sandwich on a plate and put it in the refrigerator.

Laughing, he got up and retrieved it. “I guess I’d better, because you’re obviously not thinking straight. What is it?”

“Well, I thought we might want to take another pregnancy test.”

“Really? Okay. Will do. We’ll know tonight.” He set his plate on the table and made another sandwich for her. “Wait until my mother hears.”

“Don’t say anything to anyone, Jason.” Both sides of the family would be ecstatic. Georgia and Granny had been campaigning for a grandchild since Jason graduated and received his commission. Dawn thought they should wait until Jason received orders for his duty station.

Jason turned her around and kissed her. When she relaxed in his arms, he held her closer, his hands moving up and down her back, then resting on her hips. When he drew back, he gave her a purely male smile. “Doesn’t change how we feel.”

“Did you think it would?”

“It occurred to me.” He put his arm around her. “Maybe you should quit working.”

“Let’s talk about that when we have a firm answer.”

Jason came home with a small plastic bag from the pharmacy. She took it into the bathroom. When she came out, Jason sat on the edge of the bed, head bowed, hands clasped between his knees. She waited until he raised his head.

“Well?” He stared at her intently.

“Which way do you want it to go, Jason?”

He frowned. “Whichever way God wants it.” He tucked her hair back. “We can always keep trying.”

“You make it sound like work.” She ran her hands over his chest. “I guess it is time you took a vacation.”

It took him a few seconds to catch her meaning. Then he laughed, lifted her in his arms, and swung her around.

Mom didn’t shriek like Granny. “I’m happy if you’re happy, May Flower Dawn.” Dawn knew when her mother used her full name, she felt more deeply than she let on.

“I am happy, Mom. I’m so happy I could burst!”

“We’ve been thinking about flying out to see you. Would that be all right?”

“Of course!”

“We’ll fly into Branson as soon as Christopher is out of school. Second week of June. We’d love to have you and Jason meet us there. We’ll put you up in a nice hotel, eat out, and see some shows. You wouldn’t have to do a thing.”

Dawn chuckled. “Oh. I get it. You don’t want to stay in guest housing.”

“Oh, we’ll come up to Fort Leonard Wood for a few days. You’ve written about all you’ve done with the house. I’d like to see it. If that’s all right.”

“Mom! Of course! Any chance you could bring Granny with you? She’s been wanting to come, but she’s never been on an airplane before.” Nearing eighty, she was afraid to come alone. “We could help pay for her plane ticket.”

A momentary silence. “No, that’s fine, Dawn. We can take care of her ticket. I’m sure Granny would love to come along. Do you want to call and tell her? Or shall I?”

Dawn heard the subtle change in her mother’s voice, then realized she had hurt her feelings. “I’ll leave it up to you, Mom. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No. I should have thought of it first.” Voices in the background. “Christopher wants to talk to you.” Mom was gone, and Dawn’s little brother took her place. Although Dawn had to remind herself that he wasn’t “little” anymore; he’d just turned fifteen. And he’d been taller than she was the last time she’d seen him.

He talked nonstop for five minutes, excited about soccer, excited about summer, excited about coming to see her and Jason. “I want to see the Indian caves…” Dawn heard Mom say something to him. “Mom said to tell you she’ll call Granny as soon as we’re off the phone.”

Granny called an hour later, excited but nervous about flying, eager to see Dawn and Jason. “I hope we’ll have a little one-on-one time together, honey. I’ve missed you so much.”

One-on-one time meant cutting Mom out.

“I always end up hurting one of them,” Dawn told Jason over dinner.

“You probably won’t get any time alone with your mother.”

“No.” Dawn cleared dishes. “I won’t.” She had only herself to blame for that.