Francine Rivers - Her Daughter’s Dream

“I think so.” He winked at Carolyn. “But I haven’t formally asked her yet.” He looked back at Dawn. “I wanted your permission first.”

“I guess it’s okay.” Dawn seemed bemused at the idea, and she clearly had no idea how it might change her life. Carolyn wondered if she should explain that it would mean leaving Granny and Papa. It would mean moving away and seeing them only on occasion. Would May Flower Dawn be so indifferent then?

“Maybe we should talk about this later.” Carolyn gave Mitch a pleading look. “Alone.”

But once alone, talk wasn’t uppermost on their minds. “Good thing you brought Dawn with you.”

“Our chaperone has been asleep for an hour.”

He put his fingers over her mouth. “Don’t tempt me. Let’s set a date, Carolyn. How much time do you need to put together a church wedding?”

She broke out in a cold sweat. “Why don’t we just go to Reno?” A church wedding implied a minister who would be willing to perform the ceremony, a white gown, bridesmaids, flowers, music, a church organ or piano playing, a congregation of witnesses, a reception in the social hall.

“I’m in a hurry, Carolyn, but not that big a hurry. Every woman wants a nice wedding and you’re going to have one.”

“If that’s the condition, the answer is no.”

“No? You’re in love with me, aren’t you?”

“What has love got to do with it? What would I wear, Mitch? Black? Who’d stand up with me? You think my parents would want to foot the bill for my wedding? And who’d want to come?” Fighting tears, she pushed away.

Mitch turned her around, his eyes dark with pain. “I could name a hundred people who’d want to come.”

“All your friends.” No one knew any of hers. AA was an anonymous program. First names only.

“Yours, too. You have more than you realize. I’ll bet Candace would jump at the chance to stand up with you. Dawn could be part of the wedding party. I’ll pay for it.”

“No.”

He rubbed her arms. “We’ll keep it small-family, friends. Your grandmother, your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins… They’re going to want to come, Carolyn. You can’t cut out the people you love. Only one thing I won’t bend on. I want my pastor to perform the ceremony. If you don’t want it in a church, okay. We can have it here, in the gazebo. How about August, just before Dawn has to start school?” He held her shoulders. “What do you say?”

When she looked up at him, she knew May was still a month of miracles. May, the month Jesus sat with her on the grass in Golden Gate Park, spoke her name tenderly, and sent her home. She hadn’t known she carried a child then, but God had. “That sounds perfect, Mitch.” She placed her hand on his chest and felt his warmth, his strength, the steady beat of his heart. God had given her a man she could trust. Even so, it took courage to say the words. “I love you.”

“I know.” His mouth tipped in a teasing smile. “But I’ve loved you longer.”

“You’re getting the raw end of the deal, Mitch.”

“No, I’m not. And don’t ever say that again.” He touched her as though she were the most precious thing in the world to him. “I’m getting the woman I want. I feel as though I’ve loved you forever.”

She knew he meant it.

Their wedding day turned out to be a perfect, sunny day. Carolyn’s father gave her away while Mom and May Flower Dawn sat in the front row of folding chairs. Dawn didn’t want to be her flower girl, so Carolyn didn’t have one. Mitch’s pastor performed the wedding ceremony before a gathering of Mitch’s close friends and Carolyn’s relatives. She was surprised they all came, including Aunt Rikka, who flew in from New York. Boots drove up from Topanga Canyon. Mitch had arranged for a professional photographer who took candid shots as well as formal poses. He’d also hired a catering service to put on a wedding luncheon.

Oma patted Carolyn’s cheek before she and Mom and Dad headed home. “You’ve done well for yourself. I’m proud of you.” Mitch bent down to receive her kiss of blessing. “Take good care of my girl.” He promised he would. He had a honeymoon planned, but wouldn’t tell Carolyn anything about it. May Flower Dawn was “going home with Granny and Papa.” Mitch reminded Dawn home was now Alexander Valley, and he and her mother would be picking her up in ten days. Dawn looked less defiant after that. Mitch saw the last guests out while the caterers cleared everything away. Within a few hours, the folding chairs and tables, the linens, trays, and china had been loaded into vans, leaving the gardens and house spotless and silent.

Mitch took Carolyn’s hand and led her to the master suite. She felt a bubbling fear in her belly as all the old memories rose up. Mitch sensed something was wrong. He didn’t push. He took his time. Even so, he knew she hadn’t experienced the pleasure he had. He didn’t ask questions, just held her close. Emotionally exhausted, she fell asleep in his arms. He awakened her with kisses and coffee at three thirty in the morning. “Time to get dressed.”

“Where are we going?”

“Hawaii. A limo is picking us up.”

“What? I haven’t packed!”

“Your mom took care of that. Anything you don’t have, we’ll buy when we get there.”

Dear Rosie,

Carolyn and Mitch are married. I am so happy for them. The wedding was lovely and held in the backyard of Mitch’s rather palatial home in Alexander Valley. The place looks like a Tuscan villa, with cypress trees lining his driveway and a vineyard on the hills behind the house with all its grand landscaping, pool, and gazebo. Bernhard was all praises about it. I was equally impressed. I remember Mitch when he was a skinny, freckled redhead on a bicycle, riding off with Charlie to do some mischief and, later, a gangly young man with eyes for Carolyn, though she never seemed aware of his adoration. He has grown handsome, competent, confident-a man who always did know what he wanted: Carolyn. My prayers for her are answered. Mitch sees her as a gift from God and will treat her accordingly.

Carolyn asked May Flower Dawn to be her flower girl, but the child refused. She sat in the front row and sulked. Hildemara made no effort to correct her rude misbehavior. I wanted to turn both of them over my knee. Dawn will stay with Hildemara and Trip until Carolyn and Mitch return from a Hawaiian honeymoon. Hildemara understands she must relinquish May Flower Dawn. Or says she does. I wonder.

I tried to talk with Hildemara about our past, but she cut the conversation short. All I can do is keep holding out the olive branch and hope one day she will accept it.

Oh, Rosie, I look back and wish I had handled things differently…

Mom and Dad greeted them on their return from a glorious week in Hawaii. While Dad took Mitch into the living room, Mom took Carolyn into the kitchen. She looked worried. “What’s wrong, Mom? Where’s Dawn?”

“In her room. We explained everything to her, but she doesn’t fully understand.” She offered Carolyn a cup of tea or coffee. “This is the only real home she’s ever known.”

What about the house on Vineyard Avenue? Carolyn wanted to say. Didn’t that count? “She doesn’t want to go with me. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“She’s only seven, Carolyn.”

“She’s my daughter.”

“I know that. It’s just going to be very hard for her to adjust to all these changes.”

Mom’s red-rimmed eyes told Carolyn her daughter wasn’t the only one having a hard time.

“I’m sorry about that, but I think the sooner we go, the better.”