Sarah Allen - The Girl Who Chased the Moon

“Speaking of which… Excuse me, hon,” she said to a man sitting at the counter as she hipped her way between him and the man beside him. It was a tight fit, but she didn’t seem to mind. Neither did the men. “Here’s the surprise I was talking about!” She slapped the envelope on the counter in front of Julia. “Your father would be so proud of me. I had my lawyer draw up partnership papers for this place. All you have to do is sign over half of J’s Barbecue to me. That way, when we sell it, we can split the profit.”

The men on either side of Beverly looked at Julia curiously, waiting, as Beverly was, for her to say something. People at a nearby table heard, too. The news soon made its way around the room like smoke.

Julia stared at the envelope on the counter. This shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. Just like last night shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.

At least a full minute passed before Beverly began to look uncomfortable. “Now, Julia, you know I deserve this.” She leaned in and said in a softer voice, “I thought we had an understanding.”

“My understanding,” Julia said, finally looking up from the envelope, “is that my father loved you, but you left him.”

That had the restaurant quiet in seconds.

Beverly scooped up the envelope. “Obviously, you’re cranky. From the look of you, you haven’t had much sleep. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that those are the same clothes you were wearing yesterday. Clean up a little, and I’ll meet you outside.”

“No, Beverly. This ends here,” Julia said, and it all came flooding out. “You were everything to him, to the detriment of his relationship with me. I ceased to exist when you came into his life. These scars you like to point out every time you see me were because he wouldn’t look at me once you appeared. He worked damn hard at this business, but it was never good enough for you, was it? When it stopped making money, as paltry as it had been, you left him. Do you honestly think I’m going to give you half of it? That you deserve it?”

Beverly pursed her thin lips, which were lined in pearly peach. “You could learn a thing or two about casting stones. You left him first. And you were the reason he was so deeply in debt. It was all your fault, missy, so don’t get all high and mighty on me.”

Julia couldn’t believe her gall. “How could I be the reason he was in debt?”

Beverly laughed resentfully. “How do you think he paid for that reformatory you went to? What little he made was still too much to apply for aid, and because you were from out of state, the fee was even higher. He mortgaged everything he had for you, you ungrateful girl. And I still didn’t leave him then. I only left when Bud started showing an interest in me and your father didn’t say a word about it. He stopped appreciating me a long time ago. All he talked about was you . How you were the first in his family to go to college, how you lived in the big city, how you were making your dream come true. He conveniently forgot that you tried to shred yourself to pieces, that you got knocked up at sixteen, that you took all his money and then never came back to see him.” Julia could see the surprise on the faces of some people in the restaurant. What people didn’t know about the scars on her arms, they inferred, but no one knew she’d been pregnant when she left.

As blindsided as she was by this news, by what her father had sacrificed for her, something in her mind clicked, and it made perfect sense. He’d never been good at expressing himself. She’d spent a long time in therapy, trying to adjust her expectations, especially from the men in her life. She’d thought she’d wanted grand gestures and expressive declarations, because her father never gave her that. Sometimes she thought that even falling for Sawyer when she was a teenager, how larger-than-life he was, was looking for something missing in her relationship with her father. But how could she have missed this? Everything her father did was quiet. Even loving her. The tragedy was that no one in her father’s life had ever understood that. Everyone had left him because they’d hadn’t been quiet enough to hear him. Not until it was too late.

But no, she thought. It wasn’t too late.

Tears came to Julia’s eyes. She wiped them away. She couldn’t believe she was doing this in front of everyone. “He was a good, uncomplicated man,” Julia said. “And he deserved better than us both. You’re not going to get any piece of this restaurant, Beverly. No one is. This was the one thing that never let him down. His only constant. Too many people have taken too many things from him as it is.” She pointed to the door. “You’re not welcome here ever again.”

“Oh, I’ll be back,” Beverly said, sashaying to the door. “When you leave, I’ll be right back in here and there won’t be a thing you can do about it.”

“I’ll be sure she knows she’s not welcome,” Charlotte, the day manager, said from behind Julia.

“So will I,” the new waitress said.

“I’ll remind her,” one of the men at the counter said.

“Me too,” said someone across the room. The restaurant then became a chorus of agreement.

Beverly looked aghast. She glared at Julia. “See, this is what you do! You go and leave all sorts of trouble behind.”

“I’ve got news for you,” Julia said. “I’m not leaving.”

The restaurant erupted into applause as Beverly left.

Julia stood there, breathing heavily, and thought again, What in the hell have I just done?

“THERE YOU are!” Stella said, meeting her at the door when Julia finally got home. She was wearing what she called her day gown, a silk robe with buttons her mother had given her. She said it made her feel like a lady of leisure. “I’ve been so worried! Where were you last night? Even your evil stepmother came by looking for you.”

“Why did you sleep with Sawyer?” Julia blurted out, right there in the foyer. She hadn’t meant to say it. She was as surprised as Stella looked.

“What?” Stella said.

“Sawyer said you slept together, three years ago. Do you love him?”

“Oh, that,” Stella said. “It was terrible. Not the sex… at least what I remember of it. But I was a mess. My divorce had just been finalized and all my money was gone. Sawyer came by that evening to give me a bottle of champagne to celebrate my freedom. I got drunk and I climbed all over him. I’m not proud of it. Believe me, I never wanted to be the woman men had sex with out of pity. It was just once, and I tried to avoid him after that, but he wouldn’t let me. Sawyer’s a good guy. A good friend. Why do you ask?” Stella clutched at her heart dramatically. “Oh my God! That’s where you were last night! You totally did it with Sawyer!”

Julia didn’t answer, but she must have given something away with her look.

Stella drew her into her arms for a tight hug. “I’m so happy. That man has always had a thing for you. I have no idea why he waited so long. I used to tease him that he was afraid of you.” She took Julia’s hand and led her to the living room, where she had been fortifying herself with a pitcher of Bloody Marys. “So, tell me everything! What happened? When? How many times?”

Julia shook her head as she sat down and accepted the drink Stella gave her. “Uh-uh. No way.”

“You have to tell me. You’re my best friend,” Stella said, which startled Julia. “It’s the code. I tell you everything that’s happening in my life.”

“You didn’t tell me about Sawyer,” she said, taking the celery stalk out of the drink and biting into it.

“Sawyer isn’t happening in my life. He already happened. A long time ago.”