Sarah Allen - The Girl Who Chased the Moon

He’d never heard her so raw and honest. Julia, who always kept her feelings to herself. “Is that the big thing you were going to tell me?”

“No.”

He groaned. “You’re killing me. Is it something good?”

“Yes.”

He put his hand on her thigh and started moving his way up. “Better than last night?”

“There’s no comparison.” She put her hand on his, stopping the movement. “What time is it?”

He lifted himself on his elbow and looked over to the clock on the nightstand. “A little after nine.”

She hesitated. “In the morning?”

“Yes.”

She gasped and jumped out of the bed. She went to the heavy curtains and threw them open. Morning light immediately cut into the dark room. When the spots left his vision, he found himself staring at her naked body, silhouetted in the window. He was riveted. She made his stomach tight, his head light.

“I can’t believe it’s morning! Why didn’t you tell me? What kind of curtains are these?” She grabbed the offending material and looked at it closely. “I thought it was night!”

“They’re insulated light-blockers. I’d be blinded every morning if I didn’t have them.” He sat up against his pillows and put his hands behind his head. “I really enjoy this side of you, but I think you’re giving my neighbors the best view. Why don’t you turn around?”

She quickly stepped away from the window and covered herself with one of the curtain panels. “I can’t believe I just flashed your neighbors. On a Sunday morning.”

“I know I saw the face of God.”

“I’ve got to go,” she said, eyeing the door.

“No.”

“I have to make the day’s cakes at the restaurant. I’m so late. I’m usually there and gone by now. Where are my clothes?” She looked around, then said, “Oh, downstairs.” And she darted, naked, from his room.

He smiled and got up. He took his robe from the back of his door and put it on as he walked down the stairs after her.

She was quick. She already had on her jeans and her shoes, and was pulling her shirt over her head. By the time her head poked through the collar, he was there, backing her against the wall by the door.

“We’re back where we started. I think this is a sign that we need to do it again.”

“If you let me go, I’ll bake you a cake.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, directly to the right, which startled Julia so much she let out a small scream.

Sawyer winced and rubbed his ear.

“Who is that?” she whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t answer it. Maybe they’ll go away.”

“And call the police because there was a woman screaming in here. What’s the problem? You don’t want people to know we’ve been together?” He turned and went to the door before she could answer, because he was afraid of what that answer might be. Even after last night, she was still water in his hands. He didn’t know how to hold on.

Sawyer opened the door. When he saw who was standing there, he thought, Oh, damn . This wasn’t going to help things at all.

“Hi, Sawyer,” Holly said as she walked in. “Was that you screaming like a girl?”

Holly stopped when she saw Julia. There was an awkward moment when the three of them, cramped in the small space by the door, didn’t say anything, just stared at one another.

“Holly,” Sawyer finally said, “you remember Julia Winterson?”

“Of course,” Holly said, giving Sawyer a pointed look before turning to Julia and smiling. “It’s nice to see you, Julia.”

“You too. I’m sorry to run, but I’m late.” And in seconds, she was gone. Again.

Sawyer closed the door and turned to his ex-wife. “I forgot you were coming by.”

Holly kissed him on the cheek and walked through his living room to his kitchen and began to make coffee. He followed her, remembering the feeling he had when he first asked Holly to be his girlfriend in sixth grade, that intense I’ll-finally-get-to-hold-her-hand feeling. She was his best friend all through school. He valued her. He respected her. But he didn’t know if he was ever in love with her. That night with Julia on the football field should have told him that, but he’d been too afraid to give up on the future he’d planned.

He was the one who had ended the marriage. Holly would have stayed once they’d found out he couldn’t have kids. In fact, she’d become almost manically determined to stick it out. She’d brought home information on adoption and tried to be enthusiastic. Kids were an integral part of their plan, but he realized she wanted them so much because what they had together wasn’t enough. It never had been.

“You finally did it,” Holly said when he walked into the kitchen. She was scooping coffee grounds out of the can. “I can’t believe it.”

Sawyer pulled out a stool and sat at the counter. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.” She looked over her shoulder with a grin. She looked good. Happy. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, revealing that her face was fuller, rounding out her normally sharp cheekbones. She’d put on weight. “I know you too well. You’ve had a thing for her since we were kids. And you finally got her.”

Sawyer sighed. “I’m not so sure about that.”

Holly’s smile disappeared. “Oh, hell. I didn’t…”

“No, it’s not your fault. You look fantastic, by the way.”

“Are you really okay with this? With me getting married again? With this?” She put her hand to her stomach.

“I’m happy for you, Holly. I truly am.”

She snorted and turned back to the coffee. “I think you’re only saying that because you got some last night.”

Sawyer slid off the stool and walked to his office. “I’ll get the papers for you to sign.”

LIQUID MORNING light was rippling through the open balcony doors when Emily woke up. She had no idea what time it was, but she felt she’d only been asleep for minutes.

The note.

She turned quickly to the bedside table. The note was still there, where she’d left it.

She picked it up and stared at it. She was tempted to even put it to her nose.

Was she going to do it? Was she going to meet him?

Win said he didn’t blame her for what her mother had done, but how could she know for sure? What were his motives? She wouldn’t know until this had played itself out.

Her mother was the bravest person she had ever known, yet even she hadn’t been able to face down her past.

So Emily would.

She would do something her mother couldn’t do. In order to find her place here, she had to set herself apart from who her mother had been, but she also had to try to make it right. How exactly she was going to do that, she didn’t know. There was a nagging part of her that suspected Win might know, that his interest in her wasn’t as simple as he wanted it to seem. But then, her interest in him was pretty complicated, too.

She thought about the history loop he’d talked about. Here she was in the same place her mother had been, at about the same age, and involved with the Coffeys in a way no one approved of, just like last time. There had to be a reason for it.

She got up, the note still in her hand, and walked to her dresser for shorts and a tank top. She was getting used to averting her eyes to avoid looking at the frenzied butterfly wallpaper, getting used to the soft fluttering sound it occasionally gave off. Getting used to it meant she was fitting in, according to Julia.

Either that, or she was officially going crazy.

When she reached the dresser, though, she suddenly realized there wasn’t any sound that morning. She looked up and took a surprised step back. The butterfly wallpaper was now gone. It had been replaced by a moody, breathless wallpaper of silver, sprinkled with tiny white dots that looked like stars. It made her feel an odd sense of anticipation, like last night. Grandpa Vance couldn’t have come in last night and done this.