Sarah Allen - The Girl Who Chased the Moon

No one could deny that he was a sight to behold. But the muscles in her shoulders bunched and tightened as he approached. She’d been purposely avoiding him since last Tuesday, trying to devise a plan. She didn’t know what to do without her animosity toward him. It had been her constant companion for years, and now that he’d broken through that, now that she’d made the decision to tell him about what had really happened all those years ago, she felt too vulnerable. She was walking a high wire without a net, and that kiss proved just how easily she could fall.

As he walked toward them, he gave Julia a look so hot she was almost embarrassed. Contrary to this look, however, the first words out of his mouth were, “I hope you’re happy. My navigation system has been trying to take me to Frank’s Toilet World all week.”

Emily laughed, and Julia said, “Sorry.”

“I get the feeling you like pointing me in the wrong direction.” Before she could respond, he turned to Emily and said, “Are you having a good time?”

“We’ve had a great day,” Emily said.

“We won’t be staying much longer,” Julia added. “We were about to take in a few rides, then go home.”

He chose to interpret that as an invitation rather than a brush-off. Sawyer never had been good with rejection. It happened so rarely to him. “Great, then I’ll join you.”

“We don’t want to keep you,” Julia said. “Surely you’re here with someone.”

“I came alone, if that’s what you’re asking. I met up with Stella earlier, but then her entourage got too big. Stella is like a comet collecting space debris as she passes.”

That made Emily laugh again, but Julia, more curious than she wanted to be ever since Sawyer had told her he’d once slept with Stella, asked seriously, “You didn’t want to be a part of Stella’s comet tail?”

“I was suddenly distracted by another heavenly body,” he said, meeting her eyes.

Emily cleared her throat. “I’m sure you two want to be alone. Why don’t you go on a ride together? I’d like to walk around by myself for a while, anyway.”

Julia tore her eyes off Sawyer. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Em,” she said, and actually put a hand on her shoulder, trying to keep her there.

“Why not?” Emily asked.

“Yes, Julia,” Sawyer said, smiling. “Why not?

“Because I told your grandfather I’d keep an eye on you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“But…”

“Julia,” Emily said reasonably, “I’m seventeen, not four.”

Julia knew she wasn’t going to win this one. “Meet me by the bandstand in one hour. One hour.”

Emily kissed Julia’s cheek. It was an unexpected gesture from her, a sweet, daughterly thing to do. “Thanks.”

“One hour,” Julia called after her as she watched the crowd swallow Emily. She had an overwhelming urge to drag her back, to protect her from everything that had hurt her so much as a teenager.

She finally turned back to Sawyer, who had his brows raised.

“She’s been looking for an excuse to get away from me. Win Coffey has been eyeing her all afternoon. And I’ve seen her watching him.”

“It was inevitable,” Sawyer said. “Those two were going to have magnets attached to each other no matter what. The lure of the forbidden.”

“I don’t want her to get hurt. She’s been through so much already.”

“You really care about her, don’t you? Nothing has happened yet. And Win is a pretty good kid. But if he does hurt her, he’ll have me to contend with. Now,” he said, leaning in slightly, putting his face close to hers, “let’s talk about last Tuesday.”

“I have a better idea,” she said. “Let’s go in the fun house, instead.”

Sawyer looked confused. She couldn’t blame him. “That’s a better idea?”

“It’s the fun house. Who doesn’t love the fun house?” she said as she walked over to the small structure. It sounded ridiculous, even to her. But talking about last Tuesday was too far ahead of her plans. He wanted her. She’d known that since she came back. But there was the little matter of telling him about their daughter first. That was going to change every-thing.

Sawyer followed her and bought their tickets. When they entered, the undulating floor threw her off balance and she fell back against him. He took her hand and pulled her across the room. Many kids chose to stay in that room and ride the wooden waves, so when Julia and Sawyer tripped into the hall of mirrors, they were the only ones there.

She had to hold out her hands to make her way forward. Which was the walkway and which was just reflection? Which was the real Julia? She turned quickly when Sawyer disappeared from behind her.

“Where did you go?” she called.

“I’m not sure,” he called back.

She turned and tried to follow his voice. She almost walked into a mirror, then followed the corner of that mirror to the corridor she thought he’d taken. The strobe lights didn’t help. It was like they were in a psychedelic ice cave. And the frantic music in the room sounded like a heartbeat.

“If you want me to say I’m sorry for kissing you, I will,” Sawyer said. She caught sight of him, then he disappeared again. “But I won’t mean it. I’m sorry for a lot of things, but not that.”

There! There he was again! No, he moved. “Stand still so I can find you,” she said. “I don’t want you to say you’re sorry. It’s just… I’m leaving soon. Nothing is going to change that. If you can accept that, then…”

Peals of laughter came from the next room. “Then… what?” Sawyer asked. “I can kiss you again?”

“That’s not what I meant. There’s a lot you don’t know right now.” She turned another corner, only to find herself in a dead end that looked like the mirrors in a department store dressing room. She backed out.

“It’s starting to make sense,” Sawyer said. “I even put the idea in your head, didn’t I? ‘Live a little, since you only have six months left here.’ Or was this your plan all along, wait until a few months before you left, and then have one last hurrah?”

She stopped in her tracks, stung. How had this gone so wrong so fast? She was trying to do something good. “You think I’m capable of that?”

“You’re capable of leaving for eighteen years without so much as a look back. Do you regret that at all?” His voice was moving away.

She charged forward, determined to catch up to him. “I wasn’t the one who barreled ahead without looking back. And how do you know I didn’t look back? Were you looking? No, you weren’t. And you have no idea what my regrets are, Sawyer Alexander, so don’t go there.”

“You’re right. I don’t. You never shared them with me. You wanted them all to yourself. But what you’re saying is the only way you can do this is if it’s temporary. The only way you can let me in is knowing you get to leave me at a certain time. No strings. No dealing with our complicated past.”

“Where are you?” she yelled in frustration.

“I have news for you. You can’t have temporary. As a matter of fact, you’re nowhere near where I want you to be.”

“What does that mean?”

“Stay in Mullaby, Julia, and find out.” She heard the squeak of a door opening, then closing.

“Sawyer? Sawyer!” It took a few minutes for her to make her way out. She went through the door and found herself in the rolling barrel. She ran through it, then through the air jets, but when she was finally outside again-the festival air textured like cotton candy-he was nowhere to be found.

What she’d been trying to say was she didn’t think it was a good idea to pursue a relationship in light of what she had to tell him. He might hate her after she told him. She didn’t mean she wanted a fling with him. But he thought she meant that, and seemed very eager to turn the tables. And for what? Just to have his way? Temporary, whether she meant it or not, should have been a dream come true for him. Instead, he insinuated that she couldn’t have him unless it was by his rules. Unless she stayed.