Jane Green - Bookends

‘Don’t be silly, darling. Catered of course.’

‘In that case it sounds fantastic,’ I say, grinning, and she laughs, and I realize that although Portia will never be a proper replacement for Si, I’m having a good time here today, a much better time, in fact, than I thought I’d be having, and when Portia says, at the end, that we must do this again soon, I find myself agreeing.

‘I’m back!’

‘From where? Ibiza? Majorca? South Beach?’

‘Oh ha bloody ha. From the land of lamenting and feeling sorry for myself. Oh, and by the way, I could kiss you for the videos. So clichéd, but absolutely perfect for squeezing out the last few tears.’

‘Oh, Si, I’ve missed you.’

‘I know, sweets, and I’ve missed you too. So, what’s been going on since I’ve been gone? Has Portia run off with Josh yet?’

‘Si! That’s a terrible thing to say!’

‘Joke, joke.’ A pause. ‘Well, has she?’

‘God, Si, you are incorrigible. Of course she hasn’t, although – ’

‘Although what?’ he snaps, just in case I’m withholding some vital gossip from him.

‘Although I did have lunch with her last week, and she was saying that she wouldn’t be surprised if Josh ran off with, wait for it, Ingrid! Can you believe she said that? Ingrid!’

‘I can actually.’ Si’s not laughing. ‘She was probably just testing the waters to see if Josh has it in him to be unfaithful, checking to see whether he flirts with Ingrid or anything.’

‘But Josh so isn’t the type.’

‘Not with Ingrid, no.’

‘Meaning?’

‘If Portia is after Josh, and I still think it’s a distinct possibility, then it would make her job a hell of a lot easier if she found out that he’d already had an affair or two during their married life.’

‘Well, I don’t think that. When we had lunch she said that she had regrets, and she hoped she could right some wrongs and maybe give herself a happy ending, or something like that.’

‘Uh oh. Doesn’t sound too good to me. What does she mean by right some wrongs?’

‘I know, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. The only person I can figure out that she actually wronged back then was Josh, but it was so long ago, surely it’s all water under the bridge now?’

‘I just don’t know. What about Matt? Now that would be weird,’ Si laughs. ‘Can you imagine if Matt turned up as well?’

‘Maybe she’s still in touch with him, it’s the one thing I keep forgetting to ask.’

‘Nah, I’m sure she would have mentioned it. So, sweets, how about a movie tonight?’

‘Oh, Si, I would have loved to, but I can’t.’

‘You can’t? You can’t? Why on earth not? Don’t tell me that in the three weeks since I’ve been away you’ve discovered a social life?’

‘Charming. I see your hibernation period didn’t sweeten your acerbic tongue. Actually, I’ve sort of got a date…’

‘A what ?’

‘Well, Lucy’s calling it a date, but it’s probably not, it’s just that James and I are going out for supper.’

‘Oh my God! Oh my God!’ I can hear Si doing a little victory dance at the end of the phone. ‘How? When? Where?’

‘Well, he called and then I called him back and then we chatted and then he said how about supper.’

‘So where are you going? What time is he picking you up? He is picking you up, isn’t he? What are you wearing? Oh my God! What are you wearing?’

I start laughing.

‘Tell you what,’ Si continues, ‘why don’t I whizz over and help you get ready? I promise I won’t embarrass you, and if I’m not gone by the time he comes over, I’ll hide in the bathroom.’

‘I know I should say no…’

‘See you in ten minutes!’ he whoops, and the phone is slammed down.

‘Jesus Christ,’ I say as I open the door to Si, laden down with bags.

‘No, but I might be about to perform miracles,’ he says, with a grin that tells me Will has been well and truly forgotten. He drops the bags and strokes his chin, studying me in the manner of a mad professor. ‘I seem to recall your hair being gorgeously straight and glossy not so long ago,’ he says, ‘and I knew it wouldn’t last so… tah dah!’ and he pulls something out of one of the bags. ‘I’ve brought the hair irons and the latest de-frizz serum.’

‘Nope.’ I shake my head. ‘Si, I love you and I know you mean well, but I talked to Portia about this and she thinks that, rather than wear make-up and straighten my hair and everything, I should just go au naturel because that’s how James knows me and he obviously likes me like that, so why pretend to be something I’m not.’

‘Bollocks to that,’ Si says, squeezing past me and whipping out the plug of my bedside lamp, replacing it with the hair irons. ‘She’s just jealous because she’s not happy, and if she’s not happy then she doesn’t want anyone else to be happy either. She was always like that. You looked beautiful the other night, and we’re going to make you beautiful again now.’

‘Si,’ I say uncertainly, ‘are you sure?’

‘Never been more sure of anything in my life. Now hand me that green bag, it’s got the make-up in it.’

‘Make-up? What the hell are you doing with make-up?’

‘Remember Angel? The drag queen? I thought I’d keep the make-up as a little memento. I knew it would come in handy someday,’ and with an evil grin he sends me off into the bathroom to wash my face.

‘Oh, come on, James,’ I laugh, ‘I don’t look that different.’ He’s standing on the doorstep and his mouth is hanging open as he stares at me.

‘James?’

He shakes his head. ‘Cath, I’m really sorry,’ and he peers at me closely. ‘It is Cath, isn’t it?’ And he grins.

‘The new Cath,’ I say. ‘Improved, I hope.’

‘You just don’t look like you ,’ he says uncertainly, and my face falls as I realize that Portia was probably right and why the hell didn’t I listen to her? I suppress the urge to run into the bathroom and scrub my face of all this gunk, and we stand awkwardly for a while on the doorstep.

‘You know,’ James says finally, ‘I think you actually look very lovely, it just takes a couple of minutes to get used to.’ I relax and ask him if he wants to come in, praying he’ll say no because Si is, as promised, lurking in the bathroom.

‘Just for a minute or two,’ he says. ‘We’re only slightly early for the table.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘It’s a surprise,’ he says, and jumps at the sound of the toilet flushing. Shit. I knew Si wouldn’t be able to lurk quietly until we’d gone. Sure enough, the bathroom door opens and Si strolls out, pretending to be surprised to see us both sitting there.

‘Hello,’ James says, with the good grace not to look the slightest bit shocked.

‘Oh, I thought you’d both gone.’ Si’s wide-eyed and innocent look doesn’t fool me for a second. ‘Lovely to see you again, can I get you a drink?’

‘Actually we were just leaving,’ James says, as I gratefully smile and run off down to the bedroom to grab my coat.

‘What are you doing?’ I hiss at Si, who follows me in to tell me to behave myself. ‘You said you’d lurk quietly. That’s the last time I ever let you come over when someone’s coming to pick me up.’

‘Is that all the thanks I get for helping Cinderella go to the ball?’ Si tries to look hurt.

‘Come on, you’re leaving too.’

I tell Si not to take his bags with because I don’t want to have to think of an explanation for what’s inside them, so he leaves them in the bedroom, ready to be collected the next day, and the three of us walk out together.