Jane Green - Bookends

A group of them decided to go off to France on a skiing trip one Christmas. They booked a chalet, and Josh came over one night and sat on my sofa, sighing over and over as he debated whether to bring his latest conquest.

‘I do really like Venetia,’ he sighed. ‘I just know she’s not The One, and I don’t know what to do. She’s already expecting to come, talking about going out to buy a new set of salopettes, but I’m worried she’ll spoil the fun.’

It turned out he meant that Venetia would curl up on his lap every evening, gazing up at him with big blue eyes, taking him by the hand and leading him to bed at nine o’clock, thus preventing him from debauched nights with the boys. Venetia, he said, was gorgeous. She was the perfect trophy girlfriend, and all his mates were green with envy.

And everything would be fine, apart from the fact that Venetia’s biggest problem was that she was far more mature than her twenty-three years. While Josh wanted to go out, have fun, play the field, and spend perhaps a few weeks with someone both adoring and adorable, Venetia wanted to get married.

And whom did she want to marry? A man exactly like Josh, and this was the problem.

In the end Josh had to take her. He was about to tell her he was going on his own, when she produced the aforementioned salopettes, together with a furry hat, gloves and moon boots, all of which had been bought that afternoon, paid for by Daddy’s credit card. Daddy was delighted a chap as ‘suitable’ as Josh was showing the signs of making an honest woman of her.

A ‘chalet girl’, naturally, looked after the chalet they’d booked. Someone who had done a cordon bleu cookery course, who was adept at making the guests feel happy, and who would generally run around making beds and clearing up for a weekly pittance and the opportunity to grab a few hours’ afternoon skiing on the pistes.

Josh and Venetia were the last to walk into the chalet, mostly due to Josh struggling with both his and Venetia’s luggage, Venetia having packed for every eventuality, including, bizarrely, a bikini.

‘Let me help you.’ The chalet girl came bustling over and lifted up Venetia’s suitcase with ease, striding in front of them, turning her head back and throwing a beaming smile over her shoulder as she walked. ‘I’m Lucy.’

‘God,’ giggled Venetia in a stage whisper, as they followed her in. ‘She’s got bigger muscles than you.’

‘Shut up,’ hissed Josh, who was worried that the chalet girl would hear, and who didn’t want to upset her this early on in the trip. Plus, she seemed pleasant, she had a lovely smile, and he wished Venetia wasn’t quite so tactless.

For the week the group stayed at the chalet, the City boys treated Lucy like a serf. They would, by turns, ignore her, insult her and, when very drunk, manhandle her, guffawing about what they could do with a bottom that size. Lucy, to her credit, merely smiled and brushed their hands away, calmly placing steaming casseroles on the table and clearing the plates away as if she hadn’t heard.

On the fourth day Josh fell and twisted his ankle. Not severely, but severely enough to miss a day’s skiing. Venetia insisted on staying with him, but Josh wouldn’t hear of it, and reluctantly she left with the others, ski pass swinging jauntily from her ice-blue jacket.

Josh settled himself in a large armchair with a good book, as Lucy built the fire and brought him endless mugs of hot chocolate. Within an hour the book was resting on his lap, and he was watching Lucy whirl in and out of rooms, a small smile playing on his lips.

And astonishingly, as he watched her ample behind disappear into a bedroom, he found himself wondering what someone like Lucy would be like in bed. And he closed his eyes and set off on what he claims was a really rather raunchy fantasy involving Lucy checking his pulse, then peeling off all her clothes and leaping on him. He opened his eyes with a shock to find Lucy standing over him, smiling.

When he tells this story now, they both roar with laughter. Lucy laughs about the guilty look in Josh’s eyes, the fact that she knew he’d been thinking something dirty, not to mention the sizeable erection that she did her best to ignore. And Josh tells of his heart pounding while for a split second he thought his fantasies were about to come true, and then the combination of relief and disappointment as Lucy said, ‘Penny for them.’ His nervous laughter as he moved the book on his lap to hide the physical evidence of thoughts that were, as far as he was concerned, worth significantly more than a penny, and the realization that not only was this woman incredibly sexy, but that there was (and he only understood this as he looked at her) something very different about her, quite unlike anyone he’d ever met.

For one blissful half-hour in the afternoon Lucy came and sat with him, and they chatted. He found her funny, down-to-earth and refreshingly honest. She had an easy manner and an open smile, and, as she regaled him with horror stories from her cookery course, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

After a while Lucy bustled off to get ready for her daily treat of a couple of hours on the slopes, but not without asking Josh if he wanted her to stay and keep him company.

‘Absolutely not,’ said Josh. ‘This is your free time, go and you can report back on the weather.’

‘Are you sure?’ Lucy hovered in the living room for a bit, and it was only years later that she admitted she was desperate for Josh to ask her to stay with him, that his appearance at the beginning of the week was like a shining light in a sea of dross, and that she had prayed for something like this to happen.

And Josh, being Josh, was waiting for Lucy to tell him that she simply refused to go out and leave him like that. So, because of their lack of communication, neither of them got what they wanted, and Josh was left on his own as Lucy reluctantly made him one final cup of tea before leaving to ski.

Venetia clambered noisily over the sofa when the others piled back in, showering Josh with kisses, her long blonde hair tickling his nostrils and making him sneeze, and it was all he could do not to push her away.

‘Has old thunderthighs been looking after you?’ she said, nuzzling his ear, as Josh did, finally, push her away, his throat constricted with anger.

‘Don’t call her that,’ he said sharply, wishing fervently that the girl on his lap were Lucy.

But Lucy and Josh didn’t get a chance to spend any more time together after that. Josh’s ankle was fine by the next morning, and Venetia, sensing that Josh had distanced himself since the accident, now clung to him like a limpet, trailing after him in an extremely good impersonation of his shadow. Josh cleared the plates and took them into the kitchen, where Lucy was removing a pecan pie from the oven, and, just as Lucy’s eyes lit up at the sight of Josh, Venetia tottered in on her spiked heels to see what Josh was up to.

Josh tried sloping off early, claiming the ankle was playing up, but this time Venetia refused to be left behind, and the two of them sat miserably, side by side, in the cable car going down, both of them depressed, both for entirely different reasons.

Finally, on the last day, everyone decided to go for one last ski. As they reached the cable car, Josh, furtively placing his ski pass in the pocket of his jacket, told the others that he had forgotten it and had to go back, and that they shouldn’t wait, he would meet them on the slopes.

This time, when Venetia started to come with Josh, he told her she was being ridiculous, and it was bad enough that he should have to cut short his skiing time, but that there was no way she should as well. She couldn’t say anything, she just miserably turned back to the rest of the crowd.